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Post by Cambist on May 19, 2009 12:59:17 GMT -5
True but that never stopped people before......
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Post by Bunny Hop on May 19, 2009 13:13:34 GMT -5
more power to them...I'm just not of those people
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Post by nsync on May 19, 2009 14:13:57 GMT -5
I don't think there is a large group of women who go to college with the sole intent of finding a husband, although that may be one of their life goals. It may be extremely important to them.. So if the time should come they will drop everything else and give it priority.
Many men expect to at least meet their wife during their college years. It's not far fetched at all.
Now for those case who purposely do it, kinda like those who purposely go to church to find a man/woman (IMO) it's sad thing to watch.
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Post by No Screen Name on May 19, 2009 14:15:42 GMT -5
I think going to school to get your "MRS Degree" is a concept that was probably common up until probably the 80s or so. I find it outdated now.
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Post by Cambist on May 19, 2009 14:15:50 GMT -5
It is sad....actually, I agree with Outtie....it's not that they go to college with the SOLE purpose of finding a mate but it is one of their desires.
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Post by coldfront06 on May 19, 2009 14:20:09 GMT -5
It makes sense when I think about it. Since I left college, I haven't been around such a large population of college educated Black women. There were thousands right on campus with me. So that is an ideal time to meet someone with similar goals and values.
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Post by No Screen Name on May 19, 2009 14:36:57 GMT -5
It makes sense when I think about it. Since I left college, I haven't been around such a large population of college educated Black women. There were thousands right on campus with me. So that is an ideal time to meet someone with similar goals and values. Most young Black college-aged men aren't interested in settling down when they're on campus with a large population of college educated women!  It is sad....actually, I agree with Outtie....it's not that they go to college with the SOLE purpose of finding a mate but it is one of their desires. It was one of my "desires" too at the time...but it didn't pan out. Now I think I'm out of the notion.  |
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Post by coldfront06 on May 19, 2009 14:42:48 GMT -5
^^^Thats true, because I wasn't either...lol
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Post by 123Diva on May 19, 2009 14:46:09 GMT -5
Many people at home felt that college was where I would meet my husband - to the point where I started to believe it and of course ended up "disappointed". I actually never dated anyone on my campus while I was there. I did date a Law School grad right after graduation.
It all worked out for the best. I wasn't as "ready" then as I may have thought I was for something serious.
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Post by nsync on May 19, 2009 14:48:10 GMT -5
Well that's how the white folks do it (generalizing here). They are encouraged to find their mates in undergrad.
Actually, you know, despite what we maythink of white folks one thing I can say (in general) is that they are some planning mugs. Their culture (plain ole white middle class american) seems to point to strategically planning ahead. Seems like they have mastered the balance between experience and priority.
I must admit that type of thinking (in general) makes american life a bit easier.
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Post by nsync on May 19, 2009 14:51:58 GMT -5
It wasn't my desire at all. I was just coming into my own. I didnt want to share nothing with no one. However, having a good time and being involved was my desire. LOL Ehh...it was not so bad after all. I probably should have desired something like straight A's every semester not one slip or finding a good mentor--you know stuff that strictly compliments the academic/career aspect of college. lol I mean eventually I caught on, but not soon enough. Ehhh ya live ya learn.
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Post by Bunny Hop on May 19, 2009 14:54:43 GMT -5
Well that's how the white folks do it (generalizing here). They are encouraged to find their mates in undergrad. Actually, you know, despite what we maythink of white folks one thing I can say (in general) is that they are some planning mugs. Their culture (plain ole white middle class american) seems to point to strategically planning ahead. Seems like they have mastered the balance between experience and priority. I must admit that type of thinking (in general) makes american life a bit easier. The girl in my post earlier is white and from Maine or some other state way up there. |
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Post by nsync on May 19, 2009 15:07:46 GMT -5
She seems like an outlier though. Because IMO she is going about it all wrong according to any stable person's standards. Actually, I read a research document (actually two) one was a dissertation. I need to see if I can find it online. Anyhow it specifically researched women who pursued and joined white sororities. The findings (from both in different outcomes) was that many of the sororitie's activities involved pleasing the associated fraternities and also surrounded finding men= future husbands. It was completely acceptable to them. It was a social expectation. So...if you watch mona lisa smile and then you watch something like legally blonde... two different types of movies from two different time periods you will still see a core theme. Typically feminity and womanhood are characterized with some element male pleasing and of maturing into a good woman/mother. Therefore the social expectations are for women of a certain class is to find a man, so they can eventually start a family and this all should happen (ideally) DURING their PRIME.... College. Well that's how the white folks do it (generalizing here). They are encouraged to find their mates in undergrad. Actually, you know, despite what we maythink of white folks one thing I can say (in general) is that they are some planning mugs. Their culture (plain ole white middle class american) seems to point to strategically planning ahead. Seems like they have mastered the balance between experience and priority. I must admit that type of thinking (in general) makes american life a bit easier. The girl in my post earlier is white and from Maine or some other state way up there. |
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Post by Cambist on May 19, 2009 15:18:32 GMT -5
But if they get their education is looking for a man necessarily wrong?
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Post by THE emPRISS on May 19, 2009 23:33:14 GMT -5
I'm listening, Priss.... ;D LOL....I was talking to my LS today and she was like  "ive NEVER heard you talk like this before? Who are you? Where is my LS?" lol I used ot be super hardcore but Ive softened...alot. If there is a dude I see with serious husband potential, I will act as I would if I were his wife (within reason).....I cant wait to have a family so I can get up in the AM and cook for them. Thats what my mom did for me....but if Im not feeling you? Im sure there is a 7-11 on your way home....I hear they make a mean sammich! lol |
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Post by THE emPRISS on May 19, 2009 23:34:51 GMT -5
It makes sense when I think about it. Since I left college, I haven't been around such a large population of college educated Black women. There were thousands right on campus with me. So that is an ideal time to meet someone with similar goals and values. Thats because you live in the middle of nowhere! lol |
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Post by ShimmeringSTAR on May 19, 2009 23:37:57 GMT -5
Yeah "IF" I ever get married...and that a big "IF" I want to do the cooking and stuff...I really wouldn't mind being an EDUCATED housewife...I will have food cooked and everything waiting when he gets home...kids will be in bed and homework done...I want the Huxtable life..and yeah I know thats on TV but it does exixt in Real WORLD
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Post by THE emPRISS on May 19, 2009 23:39:55 GMT -5
Yeah "IF" I ever get married...and that a big "IF" I want to do the cooking and stuff...I really wouldn't mind being an EDUCATED housewife...I will have food cooked and everything waiting when he gets home...kids will be in bed and homework done...I want the Huxtable life..and yeah I know thats on TV but it does exixt in Real WORLD It does. Ive said Imma be Claire since I was 8...just yesterday I overheard dude telling his frat "shes gonna be my claire huxtable." ROFL |
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Post by 123Diva on May 19, 2009 23:46:48 GMT -5
I'm listening, Priss.... ;D LOL....I was talking to my LS today and she was like "ive NEVER heard you talk like this before? Who are you? Where is my LS?" lol I used ot be super hardcore but Ive softened...alot. If there is a dude I see with serious husband potential, I will act as I would if I were his wife (within reason)..... I cant wait to have a family so I can get up in the AM and cook for them. Thats what my mom did for me.... but if Im not feeling you? Im sure there is a 7-11 on your way home....I hear they make a mean sammich! lol I can really relate to this. |
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Post by Cambist on May 20, 2009 7:00:03 GMT -5
I'm listening, Priss.... ;D LOL....I was talking to my LS today and she was like "ive NEVER heard you talk like this before? Who are you? Where is my LS?" lol I used ot be super hardcore but Ive softened...alot. If there is a dude I see with serious husband potential, I will act as I would if I were his wife (within reason).....I cant wait to have a family so I can get up in the AM and cook for them. Thats what my mom did for me....but if Im not feeling you? Im sure there is a 7-11 on your way home ....I hear they make a mean sammich! lol So does Becky......i'm just sayin.... |
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Post by 123Diva on May 20, 2009 9:09:01 GMT -5
LOL....I was talking to my LS today and she was like "ive NEVER heard you talk like this before? Who are you? Where is my LS?" lol I used ot be super hardcore but Ive softened...alot. If there is a dude I see with serious husband potential, I will act as I would if I were his wife (within reason).....I cant wait to have a family so I can get up in the AM and cook for them. Thats what my mom did for me....but if Im not feeling you? Im sure there is a 7-11 on your way home ....I hear they make a mean sammich! lol So does Becky......i'm just sayin.... I. Hate. CAM! |
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Post by Cambist on May 20, 2009 9:13:40 GMT -5
I've just been a bit bitter lately....I apologize
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Post by coldfront06 on May 20, 2009 9:42:25 GMT -5
It makes sense when I think about it. Since I left college, I haven't been around such a large population of college educated Black women. There were thousands right on campus with me. So that is an ideal time to meet someone with similar goals and values. Thats because you live in the middle of nowhere! lol Good point...lol |
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Post by THE emPRISS on May 20, 2009 13:19:53 GMT -5
LOL....I was talking to my LS today and she was like "ive NEVER heard you talk like this before? Who are you? Where is my LS?" lol I used ot be super hardcore but Ive softened...alot. If there is a dude I see with serious husband potential, I will act as I would if I were his wife (within reason).....I cant wait to have a family so I can get up in the AM and cook for them. Thats what my mom did for me....but if Im not feeling you? Im sure there is a 7-11 on your way home ....I hear they make a mean sammich! lol So does Becky......i'm just sayin.... LOL and that's fine bc if Im not cooking it means I could care less if Becky does...as long as you eat the box before you leave...let Becky do what she does best...be Becky. Be sure to have her let me know how I taste when she kisses him too... lol <--not fully reformed from hardcore-dom |
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Post by Cambist on May 20, 2009 13:30:59 GMT -5
What if she says, "She tastes good, how did she say I tasted?" LOL!!!
<<== not hardcore...
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Post by DamieQue™ on May 20, 2009 13:40:44 GMT -5
So does Becky......i'm just sayin.... LOL and that's fine bc if Im not cooking it means I could care less if Becky does... as long as you eat the box before you leave...let Becky do what she does best...be Becky. Be sure to have her let me know how I taste when she kisses him too...lol <--not fully reformed from hardcore-dom |
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Post by nsync on May 20, 2009 14:02:13 GMT -5
DAAAAAAAAAA YYYYYYYYY UUUUUUUUUUUUUUU MMMMMMMMMM
Priss!...Im saying though!!! ROFLMAO!
it's exalt time. My first for today!
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Post by Noble Work on May 20, 2009 14:37:08 GMT -5
I haven't read all the post, so someone may have mention this. But this is my opinion:
To answer...
I think it is really important that you become good friends with your partner before marriage. Take time to learn that person. Get to know their likes/dislikes. What makes them sad/happy. What things that they'll tolerate. Discuss goals and expectations. MOST OF ALL please discuss child rearing. Bringing children into a marriage can sometimes destroy a marriage because there are a lot of inadequacies and disagreements.
Become your SO's confidant, their goto, their safe haven...form a friendship. Yes he/she is cute or whatever but can you talk to him/her about some issues you dealing with. Will he/she push you away if you need to talk about something he said that really affected you emotionally.....Get to know these things before hand.
One thing I can think of that I guy would fear is one day not being able to take care of his family. What if he looses his job and he's the soul provider then what? What if he doesn't have the means to give his wife something that she truly deserves?
And (keeping it real) contemplating marriage he may thinking about all the booty he has to pass up.
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Post by nsync on May 20, 2009 22:47:15 GMT -5
But what about the "booty" we have to pass up? LOL Or just the company and attention of other attractive men? It doesn't have to be a sex thing. Dang. We sistas sacrifice too. Lets not get it twisted. This gets overlooked all to often. We are committing to one dingaling we will be getting from here to enternity, the only kisses, the only attention we are giving , the only exploring we will do, the only gifts we can receive,the only advances we can respond to, the only loving we will give and receive. Yeah we can feel it's worth it at the time of formal committment, because it is...but what about 10- years from then when we (females) are at our peek and the male is on his decline? So I think women SHOULD contemplate it as well when considering marriage, if we aren't already.  |
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Post by Bunny Hop on May 21, 2009 2:31:45 GMT -5
Maybe I'm reading something wrong but I don't see what is wrong with what Damie is saying happened with old girl. Dinner and a movie is not always a date (hardly ever for me) and it certainly does not mean we are actually dating. If she made assumptions about them dating off that and then threw in her mic check abilities as a bonus then that's on her too.
Assumptions will get your feelings hurt every time...
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"ive NEVER heard you talk like this before? Who are you? Where is my LS?" lol
