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Post by THE emPRISS on May 15, 2009 21:03:37 GMT -5
Why are so many men worried that women will change on them and so many women don't seem to have that same corresponding fear? Like their fears seem to be other things. Why is that? Socialization? For me, men seem to be a little more "stable" in their personalities. Its been beaten into our heads that "you cant change a man" so if he was a jerk while dating dont expect prince charming after marriage. Women on the other hand are in competition to be "chosen" so we have to put up some fronts just to keep a guy's attention long enough to get "chosen". WOmen will bend over backwards for a man, its in our nature. Men dont have that issue. And with so many single women out here....men can just be who they are...some woman will like it. Men are only fake, IMO, when they are trying to get something from a woman. I feel like men take proposing to a woman a lil more seriously. I could be wrong though. |
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Post by DamieQue™ on May 16, 2009 7:25:27 GMT -5
Naw dude... that's one of my fears. That I meet a lady, she seems on the up-and-up. Everything is all good (meaning you laugh, you love, you fight, you make up - but you feel like you know this person). Then you get married and you meet this person who has been hiding behind the Public Relations Director for the last 2 years who is unleashed on your a$$ now that you can't escape
The best way to sum it up is in the words of Magneto as he ran away from the Mutant C0mpound as Phoenix disintegrated the whole facility:
"My God What Have I Done"?
I sh*t you not....I have a friend, a Bruh, who this happened to. He said that after he got married he learned that his wife was basically living a lie...they are divorced. The story is wild too...smh. She basically lied about everything.
No WAY do I give all of that on a whim or a lark on some "meet at the altar in your white dress cause we ain't got nothing else to do today" type ish. For years we've heard that dudes are afraid of commitment. Not true. We're afraid of committing to the WRONG thing. The other instances were dudes are dragging their feet? That's dudes who are not brave enough or honest enough to tell you, "hey I don't think we have a future". Instead they keep you around until something better comes along and then manufacture an excuse to end the relationship. |
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Post by DamieQue™ on May 16, 2009 7:56:43 GMT -5
Why are so many men worried that women will change on them and so many women don't seem to have that same corresponding fear? Like their fears seem to be other things. Why is that? Socialization? For me, men seem to be a little more "stable" in their personalities. Its been beaten into our heads that "you cant change a man" so if he was a jerk while dating dont expect prince charming after marriage. Women on the other hand are in competition to be "chosen" so we have to put up some fronts just to keep a guy's attention long enough to get "chosen". WOmen will bend over backwards for a man, its in our nature. Men dont have that issue. And with so many single women out here....men can just be who they are...some woman will like it. Men are only fake, IMO, when they are trying to get something from a woman. I feel like men take proposing to a woman a lil more seriously. I could be wrong though.
Another thing your post points out to me is the concept of women bending over backwards. I think this is another one of those species-to-species communication things - where stuff gets lost instranslation. I don't think that as men, that we're often aware, when you are bending over backwards.
A man who is serious about marriage is probably more serious about proposing - because he's taken into consideration "the forever prospect". And so the wedding day is a mere formality - it's everything after that, a life with you forever, that he has weighed in the balance. If a dude hasn't done that than he's probably not that serious about marriage and you can judge for yourself how serious his proposal really is. This is not asking someone to go to Prom or to go steady - this is asking someone for FOREVER. Men are fake when they want something OR when they want to avoid something (it's the classic carrot and the whip scenario). Thanks for keeping it real in your response though. 'Ppreciate that. |
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Post by Bunny Hop on May 16, 2009 17:22:24 GMT -5
So I get that we all want to know who we are getting married to but sometimes I think it's not that easy. No matter how old you are you are still growing in some way and learning more about yourself. You are so sure you'd handle certain situations in one way until you find yourself in it and then you realize that it's really not what you thought. So it's hard to say "I want to know A, B, and C about a person before we jump the broom" when they may not know those things about themselves. I feel like you get to know someone the best you can and when yall decide to take that next step then you are also saying that you're ok with the fact that things may (will) change and you're committed to working through that. I feel like too many people get with someone thinking they are going to look, act and think the same way forever and then when they don't folks get pissed.
My mom said my dad was a whole new person after they got married and I honestly have never understood that, lol. He's been the EXACT same way my entire life and from what I've heard about his relationships with his family he was that way long before my mom. I just think people often choose to see (or not to see) certain things. Then they continue on in the relationship thinking it'll get better with time, a kid, a house, marriage, etc.
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Post by THE emPRISS on May 16, 2009 17:50:12 GMT -5
I sh*t you not....I have a friend, a Bruh, who this happened to. He said that after he got married he learned that his wife was basically living a lie...they are divorced. The story is wild too...smh. She basically lied about everything.
No WAY do I give all of that on a whim or a lark on some "meet at the altar in your white dress cause we ain't got nothing else to do today" type ish. For years we've heard that dudes are afraid of commitment. Not true. We're afraid of committing to the WRONG thing. The other instances were dudes are dragging their feet? That's dudes who are not brave enough or honest enough to tell you, "hey I don't think we have a future". Instead they keep you around until something better comes along and then manufacture an excuse to end the relationship.I feel you. I think it goes both ways. In the case of my friend, it wasnt even about not being perfect, I mean, this lady lied about EVERYTHING from her family, toher belief system, everything. I asked him how she was able to keep up the lie so long. He said he really didnt know bc he thought he had thoroughly checked her out. Its really wild. Its important for people just to be themselves from the start. I dont lke the whole "representative" schtick. Just be you and if that person doesnt like you then you can both save yourself a lifetime of heartache and disappointment. I can honestly say that every dude Ive dated has gotten the real me out of the gate....Im hard for some dudes to stomach, but thats cool bc I'd rather be dumped now than have to cut a negro later! lol |
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Post by THE emPRISS on May 16, 2009 17:54:02 GMT -5
For me, men seem to be a little more "stable" in their personalities. Its been beaten into our heads that "you cant change a man" so if he was a jerk while dating dont expect prince charming after marriage. Women on the other hand are in competition to be "chosen" so we have to put up some fronts just to keep a guy's attention long enough to get "chosen". WOmen will bend over backwards for a man, its in our nature. Men dont have that issue. And with so many single women out here....men can just be who they are...some woman will like it. Men are only fake, IMO, when they are trying to get something from a woman. I feel like men take proposing to a woman a lil more seriously. I could be wrong though.
Another thing your post points out to me is the concept of women bending over backwards. I think this is another one of those species-to-species communication things - where stuff gets lost instranslation. I don't think that as men, that we're often aware, when you are bending over backwards.
A man who is serious about marriage is probably more serious about proposing - because he's taken into consideration "the forever prospect". And so the wedding day is a mere formality - it's everything after that, a life with you forever, that he has weighed in the balance. If a dude hasn't done that than he's probably not that serious about marriage and you can judge for yourself how serious his proposal really is. This is not asking someone to go to Prom or to go steady - this is asking someone for FOREVER. Men are fake when they want something OR when they want to avoid something (it's the classic carrot and the whip scenario). Thanks for keeping it real in your response though. 'Ppreciate that.I think you put it in better terms. I do think the pressure of marriage is a hard sell for women. You mentioned men not knowing when a woman is bending over backwards, 1. how do you not know? (classive men are from mars, women are from venus question) and 2. should a woman let a man know she isbedning over backwards? Actually, I dont think some women even realize they are bending over backwards. They think they are doing what they need to do to "catch" this man and are really willing to do whatever they are doing at that point in time. Its not until much later that both parties realize that she was doing it not out of nature but for the purpose of catching his attention and keeping it. |
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Post by ShimmeringSTAR on May 16, 2009 18:01:20 GMT -5
Good deal Priss..I think men realize woman are bending over backwards when the woman aren't bending anymore...
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Post by 123Diva on May 16, 2009 19:24:01 GMT -5
Nightmare scenario. And see here's my thing... I don't expect a woman to be perfect... hell if she was what would she want to do with me? It's not perfection I'm looking for - it's being able to trust. I mean when I put that ring on your finger, I'm telling you and the world that I'll take that bullet for you - literally. If there is no pre-nup and things go bad... you get half my ish. Half. I am pledging to be with you (flaws and all) and forsaking all other scattered a$$ which I will undoubtedly come across in my life for the rest of my life. I am saying you are my rib... the thing closest to my heart with the power to protect or destroy it.
No WAY do I give all of that on a whim or a lark on some "meet at the altar in your white dress cause we ain't got nothing else to do today" type ish. For years we've heard that dudes are afraid of commitment. Not true. We're afraid of committing to the WRONG thing. The other instances were dudes are dragging their feet? That's dudes who are not brave enough or honest enough to tell you, "hey I don't think we have a future". Instead they keep you around until something better comes along and then manufacture an excuse to end the relationship. ^^^Can't argue with that. Women have that same fear as well...Well at least I do, it just manifests itself differently sometimes. I hear you. Marriage should not be taken lightly. And YES, the dragging of feet happens when something is not right. I've learned that men are VERY deliberate. You all act right when you decide to. You settle down when you decide you are ready to. Not a moment before...in MOST cases. EXALT! |
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Post by No Screen Name on May 16, 2009 20:20:39 GMT -5
I honestly DO think this is an effect of socialization--and I admit, when I was younger, I fell victim to the okey-doke. Think about it (and I mentioned this in another post a while back): how many singles' conferences, "Woman Power 2009" (or whatever  ) seminars, books, lectures, sermons, guest speakers, self-help books and whatever are targeted towards women with topics basically telling women to "Get It Together So You Can Get a Man"? Juanita Bynum made millions off this subject. How many of these same things are targeted towards men? It's like girls and women are TAUGHT from a young age to be desperate and make snagging a man priority #1. |
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Post by nsync on May 16, 2009 20:45:45 GMT -5
We have to allow room for change. Although, I must admit that's difficult. I think throughout a couple's life together there will be many falling out of love and then falling back in loves all over again if they can surpass each phase. Dang I said this somewhere once. Ima have to go find it. Also, Relationships are like Prego. It's in there. However, I think it is true that somethings don't come out until marriage. Why? Because humans are Titlists. Titles mean everything to us. That's why we strive for them and that's why we classify based on them. Title change behavior whether we want to admit it or not. Those things that manifest in marriage are usually sub-issues that are apart of a larger character flaw that was present during dating. That's why I think one has to TRULY ask themselves if they can deal with the annoying aspects of their boo's personality WHILE DATING because 9 x10 it's only gonna get worse in marriage. With each passing circumstance a person evaluates how much you are willing to put up with their ish. IMO especially for men---when they get to that "OH she ain't going nowhere point." That's when they let out the big fart:who they really are. Im sure women do the same in a sense. So yeah... Exalt for you Bunny.  So I get that we all want to know who we are getting married to but sometimes I think it's not that easy. No matter how old you are you are still growing in some way and learning more about yourself. You are so sure you'd handle certain situations in one way until you find yourself in it and then you realize that it's really not what you thought. So it's hard to say "I want to know A, B, and C about a person before we jump the broom" when they may not know those things about themselves. I feel like you get to know someone the best you can and when yall decide to take that next step then you are also saying that you're ok with the fact that things may (will) change and you're committed to working through that. I feel like too many people get with someone thinking they are going to look, act and think the same way forever and then when they don't folks get pissed. My mom said my dad was a whole new person after they got married and I honestly have never understood that, lol. He's been the EXACT same way my entire life and from what I've heard about his relationships with his family he was that way long before my mom. I just think people often choose to see (or not to see) certain things. Then they continue on in the relationship thinking it'll get better with time, a kid, a house, marriage, etc. [/size] |
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Post by DamieQue™ on May 16, 2009 21:19:17 GMT -5
So I get that we all want to know who we are getting married to but sometimes I think it's not that easy. No matter how old you are you are still growing in some way and learning more about yourself. You are so sure you'd handle certain situations in one way until you find yourself in it and then you realize that it's really not what you thought. So it's hard to say "I want to know A, B, and C about a person before we jump the broom" when they may not know those things about themselves. I feel like you get to know someone the best you can and when yall decide to take that next step then you are also saying that you're ok with the fact that things may (will) change and you're committed to working through that. I feel like too many people get with someone thinking they are going to look, act and think the same way forever and then when they don't folks get pissed. My mom said my dad was a whole new person after they got married and I honestly have never understood that, lol. He's been the EXACT same way my entire life and from what I've heard about his relationships with his family he was that way long before my mom. I just think people often choose to see (or not to see) certain things. Then they continue on in the relationship thinking it'll get better with time, a kid, a house, marriage, etc.
I honestly see it differently. The older we get, the less we are liable to change and thus seeing really wide variances in how people act to me isn't a sign of growth it's a sign of deception.
I agree that as people grow they change... but I'm not talking about encasing the relationship in Reynolds Wrap and preserving it in a Hyperbaric chamber. I'm talking about unacceptable change. What is unacceptable change? 2 times when it happens. When you mask issues you have with the other person's behavior, or you mask behavior that would cause the other person to have issues all the way until you're safely in the relationship. I'm afraid that one won't fit under the umbrella of "growth" - THAT is deception IMO and that's what I'm talking about in terms of change. Not you changing from red to purple kool aid, or watching American Idol instead of Grey's Anatomy... I'm talking wholesale changes... 180s. No one should have to endure that. When you settle down with your man - if he's always cooked pancakes in a rhinestone bedazzled Snuggie... well then he can't one day so - naw I don't cook. |
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Post by DamieQue™ on May 16, 2009 21:26:34 GMT -5
Based on your answer it seems like you're saying that some of it does have to do with socialization (which makes sense). I don't think women's personalities are less stable (JMO) but I do think the pressure of "being married" (and alot of that pressure is externally applied) might turn some women into used car salesman. It's not that you want to deceive but the goal is to get the car off the lot. Disclosure becomes optional in some cases.
Another thing your post points out to me is the concept of women bending over backwards. I think this is another one of those species-to-species communication things - where stuff gets lost instranslation. I don't think that as men, that we're often aware, when you are bending over backwards.
A man who is serious about marriage is probably more serious about proposing - because he's taken into consideration "the forever prospect". And so the wedding day is a mere formality - it's everything after that, a life with you forever, that he has weighed in the balance. If a dude hasn't done that than he's probably not that serious about marriage and you can judge for yourself how serious his proposal really is. This is not asking someone to go to Prom or to go steady - this is asking someone for FOREVER. Men are fake when they want something OR when they want to avoid something (it's the classic carrot and the whip scenario). Thanks for keeping it real in your response though. 'Ppreciate that. I think you put it in better terms. I do think the pressure of marriage is a hard sell for women. You mentioned men not knowing when a woman is bending over backwards, 1. how do you not know? (classive men are from mars, women are from venus question) and 2. should a woman let a man know she isbedning over backwards?
It's the same with actions. In the case of "bending over backwards" I have to know the ordinary you - in order to recognize the extraordinary you. The other day you were talking about how you operate when it comes to phone communication. It's probably not a typical approach. If a dude knows that, and he gets a call from you then he KNOWS it's a big deal. Otherwise why wouldn't he expect you to call...? In his world that's what people do ordinarily. In your world - you don't ordinarily. He can now see the difference. Feel me?
Also, if you come out the gate doing the extraordinary - I assume that's just par for the course for you. So when you don't keep it up - YEAH - it's gonna look like to us - that you are changing ish up. |
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Post by nsync on May 16, 2009 21:33:06 GMT -5
On the lines of the posts made about people completely changing....
... I am thinking of a couple that divorced after about 5 years but were probably done about a month in. Right after marriage the guy committed over to a religious life style. That changed everything for them including their favorite past times.
That's got to be hard on someone. They fought the first year. They tried to work it out the second year and they were miserable for the last three leading up to the divorce.
I know another couple that experienced the same thing. 15 years later the husband finally took up the religious life. He stayed she stayed they had lots of turmoil, but now after all that time things are finally stable, but stil unlike when they met.
That's the stuff IMO--that can bring about fear. But you gotta be flexible.
You gotta be more committed to the saftey of the couple than your own needs at times.
Deep.
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Post by Bunny Hop on May 18, 2009 6:57:00 GMT -5
Thanks for the exalt Outtie! @ BunH
I honestly see it differently. The older we get, the less we are liable to change and thus seeing really wide variances in how people act to me isn't a sign of growth it's a sign of deception.
I agree that as people grow they change... but I'm not talking about encasing the relationship in Reynolds Wrap and preserving it in a Hyperbaric chamber. I'm talking about unacceptable change. What is unacceptable change? 2 times when it happens. When you mask issues you have with the other person's behavior, or you mask behavior that would cause the other person to have issues all the way until you're safely in the relationship. I'm afraid that one won't fit under the umbrella of "growth" - THAT is deception IMO and that's what I'm talking about in terms of change. Not you changing from red to purple kool aid, or watching American Idol instead of Grey's Anatomy... I'm talking wholesale changes... 180s. No one should have to endure that. When you settle down with your man - if he's always cooked pancakes in a rhinestone bedazzled Snuggie... well then he can't one day so - naw I don't cook. I guess I just don't see it as deception unless they deliberately made a choice to hide something from you. I do agree with the older you get the less liable you are to change but it still happens. I'd also think that in that case it still wouldn't necessarily be deception since a lot more of life happens when you get older so if you do change it's because of something major happening. |
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Post by DamieQue™ on May 18, 2009 7:15:10 GMT -5
Thanks for the exalt Outtie! @ BunH
I honestly see it differently. The older we get, the less we are liable to change and thus seeing really wide variances in how people act to me isn't a sign of growth it's a sign of deception.
I agree that as people grow they change... but I'm not talking about encasing the relationship in Reynolds Wrap and preserving it in a Hyperbaric chamber. I'm talking about unacceptable change. What is unacceptable change? 2 times when it happens. When you mask issues you have with the other person's behavior, or you mask behavior that would cause the other person to have issues all the way until you're safely in the relationship [/b]. I'm afraid that one won't fit under the umbrella of "growth" - THAT is deception IMO and that's what I'm talking about in terms of change. Not you changing from red to purple kool aid, or watching American Idol instead of Grey's Anatomy... I'm talking wholesale changes... 180s. No one should have to endure that. When you settle down with your man - if he's always cooked pancakes in a rhinestone bedazzled Snuggie... well then he can't one day so - naw I don't cook. [/color][/quote] I guess I just don't see it as deception unless they deliberately made a choice to hide something from you. I do agree with the older you get the less liable you are to change but it still happens. I'd also think that in that case it still wouldn't necessarily be deception since a lot more of life happens when you get older so if you do change it's because of something major happening.[/quote] I think we agree Bunny. |
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Post by LogAKAlly <3'n Keef on May 18, 2009 7:18:25 GMT -5
Oh this is WAY to much to read now, my head start hurting.
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Post by Bunny Hop on May 18, 2009 8:13:49 GMT -5
@damie: We agree on that but there was a lot more stuff in your posts that I don't really agree with.
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Post by No Screen Name on May 18, 2009 8:41:25 GMT -5
I thought about y'all this weekend. The mother of my dad's wife is 84. She was married 59 years--her husband just died about four months ago. She is Bahamian, but she attended Howard. I was asking her this weekend how she enjoyed Howard. She said, "Oh, I loved it. I really loved it. I made it all the way to my Junior year, but then John asked me to marry him, and I said, 'Eh, why not? I might as well'. So I left Howard to get married". From what my dad tells me, her husband wasn't even all that. He has a mean, overbearing personality and can be very difficult. But they stayed married and made it work. So I wonder if a lot of this fear and angst about marriage is new? Marriage was just "expected", and divorce was not common. Even if the spouse was an azz, folks just stuck it out. |
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Post by DamieQue™ on May 18, 2009 8:53:20 GMT -5
@damie: We agree on that but there was a lot more stuff in your posts that I don't really agree with. |
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Post by Bunny Hop on May 18, 2009 9:59:37 GMT -5
I thought about y'all this weekend. The mother of my dad's wife is 84. She was married 59 years--her husband just died about four months ago. She is Bahamian, but she attended Howard. I was asking her this weekend how she enjoyed Howard. She said, "Oh, I loved it. I really loved it. I made it all the way to my Junior year, but then John asked me to marry him, and I said, 'Eh, why not? I might as well'. So I left Howard to get married". From what my dad tells me, her husband wasn't even all that. He has a mean, overbearing personality and can be very difficult. But they stayed married and made it work. So I wonder if a lot of this fear and angst about marriage is new? Marriage was just "expected", and divorce was not common. Even if the spouse was an azz, folks just stuck it out. I'm wondering if one of my old classmates is going to do the same thing. She is one of those women that cater to every man's needs...baking cookies, serving stuff at gatherings, etc but then they talk to her crazy...in a way that they would NEVER come at the other females. That in addition to her very needy, clingy and insecure ways and how quickly she hooked up with one of the smartest guys in the program always made me wonder why she was REALLY there. I keep wondering if he proposes to her will she stop going to school. I feel like she's just waiting. |
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Post by Bunny Hop on May 18, 2009 10:05:53 GMT -5
@damie: We agree on that but there was a lot more stuff in your posts that I don't really agree with. Well from your posts I didn't get that you were talking about people who make a conscious decision to be a different person after the ceremony. It seemed like if they changed after the marriage then they were some how trying to deceive you or hide something...it just seemed really cut and dry to me. |
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Post by THE emPRISS on May 19, 2009 11:49:10 GMT -5
I think you put it in better terms. I do think the pressure of marriage is a hard sell for women. You mentioned men not knowing when a woman is bending over backwards, 1. how do you not know? (classive men are from mars, women are from venus question) and 2. should a woman let a man know she isbedning over backwards?
It's the same with actions. In the case of "bending over backwards" I have to know the ordinary you - in order to recognize the extraordinary you. The other day you were talking about how you operate when it comes to phone communication. It's probably not a typical approach. If a dude knows that, and he gets a call from you then he KNOWS it's a big deal. Otherwise why wouldn't he expect you to call...? In his world that's what people do ordinarily. In your world - you don't ordinarily. He can now see the difference. Feel me?
Also, if you come out the gate doing the extraordinary - I assume that's just par for the course for you. So when you don't keep it up - YEAH - it's gonna look like to us - that you are changing ish up. I can understand that. But for me, for example cooking....I DONT cook for every dude I date and I will say point blank....I DONT usually cook for dudes. I cook when I feel happy to do so and if at any point Im not happy, I wont. Hopefully dude is listening and doesnt think Im BSing...cuz Im not. |
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Post by THE emPRISS on May 19, 2009 11:51:33 GMT -5
I thought about y'all this weekend. The mother of my dad's wife is 84. She was married 59 years--her husband just died about four months ago. She is Bahamian, but she attended Howard. I was asking her this weekend how she enjoyed Howard. She said, "Oh, I loved it. I really loved it. I made it all the way to my Junior year, but then John asked me to marry him, and I said, 'Eh, why not? I might as well'. So I left Howard to get married". From what my dad tells me, her husband wasn't even all that. He has a mean, overbearing personality and can be very difficult. But they stayed married and made it work. So I wonder if a lot of this fear and angst about marriage is new? Marriage was just "expected", and divorce was not common. Even if the spouse was an azz, folks just stuck it out. I'm wondering if one of my old classmates is going to do the same thing. She is one of those women that cater to every man's needs...baking cookies, serving stuff at gatherings, etc but then they talk to her crazy...in a way that they would NEVER come at the other females. That in addition to her very needy, clingy and insecure ways and how quickly she hooked up with one of the smartest guys in the program always made me wonder why she was REALLY there. I keep wondering if he proposes to her will she stop going to school. I feel like she's just waiting. Sounds like she went to school to get her MRS. degree. I have a hard time fathoming women like that. |
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Post by No Screen Name on May 19, 2009 11:52:50 GMT -5
GET THAT SAID!!!! I *JUST* started cooking for myself!!! ;D
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Post by Cambist on May 19, 2009 11:58:28 GMT -5
I'm listening, Priss.... ;D
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Post by Bunny Hop on May 19, 2009 12:44:23 GMT -5
I'm wondering if one of my old classmates is going to do the same thing. She is one of those women that cater to every man's needs...baking cookies, serving stuff at gatherings, etc but then they talk to her crazy...in a way that they would NEVER come at the other females. That in addition to her very needy, clingy and insecure ways and how quickly she hooked up with one of the smartest guys in the program always made me wonder why she was REALLY there. I keep wondering if he proposes to her will she stop going to school. I feel like she's just waiting. Sounds like she went to school to get her MRS. degree. I have a hard time fathoming women like that. I honestly don't think I'd ever met one until her, lol. I just look at her thinking "nope...not me." |
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Post by Cambist on May 19, 2009 12:50:48 GMT -5
I'm wondering if one of my old classmates is going to do the same thing. She is one of those women that cater to every man's needs...baking cookies, serving stuff at gatherings, etc but then they talk to her crazy...in a way that they would NEVER come at the other females. That in addition to her very needy, clingy and insecure ways and how quickly she hooked up with one of the smartest guys in the program always made me wonder why she was REALLY there. I keep wondering if he proposes to her will she stop going to school. I feel like she's just waiting. Sounds like she went to school to get her MRS. degree. I have a hard time fathoming women like that. I actually know quite a few women who went to school to get a dual degree: 1. BS or BA and... 2. MRS Actually, I dont' see a problem with it. They come to college, get an English, Music or even a science degree (teaching) and then stay home as a Home Economics professional. |
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Post by Bunny Hop on May 19, 2009 12:54:21 GMT -5
Sounds like she went to school to get her MRS. degree. I have a hard time fathoming women like that. I actually know quite a few women who went to school to get a dual degree: 1. BS or BA and... 2. MRS Actually, I dont' see a problem with it. They come to college, get an English, Music or even a science degree (teaching) and then stay home as a Home Economics professional. IMO it's one thing to go to school, get your degrees and then choose to stay at home but it's completely different to go to school looking for a husband. |
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Post by Cambist on May 19, 2009 12:54:58 GMT -5
I think many women do both.
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Post by Bunny Hop on May 19, 2009 12:57:44 GMT -5
I'm sure they do but that last thing is not for me...
College costs too much money, time and energy to use it just to find a man
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) seminars, books, lectures, sermons, guest speakers, self-help books and whatever are targeted towards women with topics basically telling women to "Get It Together So You Can Get a Man"? Juanita Bynum made millions off this subject. How many of these same things are targeted towards men? It's like girls and women are TAUGHT from a young age to be desperate and make snagging a man priority #1.
