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Post by Blu on May 15, 2009 7:42:19 GMT -5
LMAOOOOOOOOOOO Hush Cam Cliff Notes RELY ON GOD in everything you DO!!!! Gotcha! And that's true because Marriage is not some normal chyt! A wise man once said, "Marriage, like Mental Hospitals and Prisons, is an institution." I'm just sayin.... OH! And in my most humble opinion....no man under the age of 30 should ever be allowed to say "I do" or "I will".... And why is that Cam? lol |
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Post by T-Rex91 on May 15, 2009 8:34:24 GMT -5
SEE? More discouraging advice from a subject matter expert. THAT's why folks are fearful.
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Post by Prissy New Year!!! on May 15, 2009 8:37:57 GMT -5
SEE? More discouraging advice from a subject matter expert. THAT's why folks are fearful. Cam doesn't mean it. He was supposed to back me up. He will be back to clean up his statements and talk about how great marriage is. |
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Post by Blu on May 15, 2009 8:48:52 GMT -5
SEE? More discouraging advice from a subject matter expert. THAT's why folks are fearful. Well I'll throw my hat in as a positive. I've been married for almost 5 yrs and although it has been hard work, it has been the most worthwhile job I've ever had  . I'm an individualistic person, but when I see a situation that is worth it, I'm willing to put aside my personal desires for a common goal. I got married at 24 because I was sure that my wife was the one I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. I knew we had different ideas on different things, but the way I felt about her assured me that I was willing to be faithful and meet on some type of common ground when needed. Now at 5 years, I can honestly say that I am still as happy to be married as the day I said I do. There have been struggles as there always will be with two strong minded individuals, but I never forget how I feel about her and the reason for my decision. |
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Post by T-Rex91 on May 15, 2009 8:49:57 GMT -5
LOL!!!!!!
But here's the thing, Susan Sarandon/Tim Robbins, Goldie Hawn/Kurt Russell, and others have strong long lasting relationships and don't have a marriage decree. You can have all the benefits of marriage without actually marrying if you can stomach the moral quandries it presents. all I'm saying is it used to be unacceptable to be unmarried and pregnant and now it's the norm (72% of A-A births y'all). "Living in sin" used to be unthinkable and now it's much more common to move in with just a boyfriend, not even a fiance. We all want to be in a long term committed relationship (I assume) but something changes with marriage. I have some friends who would probably still be with their exes if they had continued to date and not gotten married cause they all say "it changed EVERYTHING"
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Post by 123Diva on May 15, 2009 8:56:52 GMT -5
SEE? More discouraging advice from a subject matter expert. THAT's why folks are fearful. Well I'll throw my hat in as a positive. I've been married for almost 5 yrs and although it has been hard work, it has been the most worthwhile job I've ever had . I'm an individualistic person, but when I see a situation that is worth it, I'm willing to put aside my desires for a common goal. I got married at 24 because I was sure that my wife was the one I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. I knew we had different ideas on different things, but the way I felt about her assured me that I was willing to meet on some type of common ground. Now at 5 years, I can honestly say that I am still as happy to be married as the day I said I do. There have been struggles as there always will be with two strong minded individuals, but I never forget how I feel about her and the reason for my decision. BEAUTIFUL. EXALT |
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Post by Cambist on May 15, 2009 9:00:29 GMT -5
**Grumble...Grumble....**
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Post by Prissy New Year!!! on May 15, 2009 9:06:15 GMT -5
LOL!!!!!! But here's the thing, Susan Sarandon/Tim Robbins, Goldie Hawn/Kurt Russell, and others have strong long lasting relationships and don't have a marriage decree. You can have all the benefits of marriage without actually marrying if you can stomach the moral quandries it presents. all I'm saying is it used to be unacceptable to be unmarried and pregnant and now it's the norm (72% of A-A births y'all). "Living in sin" used to be unthinkable and now it's much more common to move in with just a boyfriend, not even a fiance. We all want to be in a long term committed relationship (I assume) but something changes with marriage. I have some friends who would probably still be with their exes if they had continued to date and not gotten married cause they all say "it changed EVERYTHING" For me, I don't think there is a sense of permanency if you are not married. I would always feel like I could just pack up and leave if things aren't going well. There is something about having to hire an attorney, separate assets, and fight it out in court that would make me think twice about getting a divorce. It gives you more incentive to try and work through your problems. |
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Post by THE emPRISS on May 15, 2009 9:14:03 GMT -5
LMAOOOOOOOOOOO Hush Cam Cliff Notes RELY ON GOD in everything you DO!!!! Gotcha! And that's true because Marriage is not some normal chyt! A wise man once said, "Marriage, like Mental Hospitals and Prisons, is an institution." I'm just sayin.... OH! And in my most humble opinion....no man under the age of 30 should ever be allowed to say "I do" or "I will".... I personally believe NOBODY under 30 should get married. |
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Post by THE emPRISS on May 15, 2009 9:16:24 GMT -5
LOL!!!!!! But here's the thing, Susan Sarandon/Tim Robbins, Goldie Hawn/Kurt Russell, and others have strong long lasting relationships and don't have a marriage decree. You can have all the benefits of marriage without actually marrying if you can stomach the moral quandries it presents. all I'm saying is it used to be unacceptable to be unmarried and pregnant and now it's the norm (72% of A-A births y'all). "Living in sin" used to be unthinkable and now it's much more common to move in with just a boyfriend, not even a fiance. We all want to be in a long term committed relationship (I assume) but something changes with marriage. I have some friends who would probably still be with their exes if they had continued to date and not gotten married cause they all say "it changed EVERYTHING" Im still waiting to hear what "everything" entails and how "everything" changes.... I swear there is some secret rit or something that married folk have. Tell us and stop letting us fall down the same rabbit hole unnecessarily...ol' crabs in a barrel  |
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Post by Blu on May 15, 2009 9:19:01 GMT -5
Gotcha! And that's true because Marriage is not some normal chyt! A wise man once said, "Marriage, like Mental Hospitals and Prisons, is an institution." I'm just sayin.... OH! And in my most humble opinion....no man under the age of 30 should ever be allowed to say "I do" or "I will".... I personally believe NOBODY under 30 should get married. I'm still waiting for the why? lol |
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Post by T-Rex91 on May 15, 2009 9:20:45 GMT -5
See I feel the opposite on the age thing (having never been married). When you're young you're less set in your ways (more malleable to the adjustment of sharing space, compromise, etc) , you probaby have very few assets, and you probably are more optimistic (young folk never thing anything bad is going to happen). The older you get, the more set in your ways you get and the definition of "equally yolked" probably gets a little blurrier.
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Post by Cambist on May 15, 2009 9:22:11 GMT -5
The problem is.....nothing changes except your point of view!
If you expect the lights to flash and the thunder to roll and the ground to lift you into the heavens then you are in for an awakening!
Marriage is not unlike dating except like Priss said, there is this sense of, "damn....I can't leave"
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Post by No Screen Name on May 15, 2009 9:22:52 GMT -5
I have always wondered this, too.  I have even heard of people who shacked for YEARS and got married say that everything changed when they married. I think so, too. I remember thinking how weird it was when T.D. Jakes's 19-year-old got married. She's still a teenager. She's still in college. WHY is she making a lifetime committment like that? You don't even know who you are when you're 19. But everybody was just ooh-ing and ahhh-ing about her wedding like it was a good thing. |
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Post by Cambist on May 15, 2009 9:26:15 GMT -5
I ask the same question and have the same thoughts about people claiming to make a "Lifetime Committment" to BGLO's at such a young age..... |
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Post by Blu on May 15, 2009 9:27:54 GMT -5
The problem is.....nothing changes except your point of view! If you expect the lights to flash and the thunder to roll and the ground to lift you into the heavens then you are in for an awakening! Marriage is not unlike dating except like Priss said, there is this sense of, "damn....I can't leave" I'll agree that both relationships (marriage and dating) have their similarities, but I don't agree with having the sense of I can't leave. It seems more people now have the feeling that marriage is as easy to leave as a regular relationship. All you need is some money and agreement that it's over. I will say marriage has left me with a sense of "I never want to leave". |
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Post by No Screen Name on May 15, 2009 9:33:13 GMT -5
I'm about to make a post about this in the Greek section. Please respond. |
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Post by THE emPRISS on May 15, 2009 9:38:35 GMT -5
I personally believe NOBODY under 30 should get married. I'm still waiting for the why? lol Because I feel like pre-30 (and sometimes after) you need to focus on yourself, your career, and becoming stable....THEN worry about being a couple. |
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Post by Blu on May 15, 2009 9:46:37 GMT -5
I'm still waiting for the why? lol Because I feel like pre-30 (and sometimes after) you need to focus on yourself, your career, and becoming stable....THEN worry about being a couple. I think it's possible to focus on all of those things while marriage. Some people can and some people can't. Some people never attain stability in those things even at a later age whether married or not. |
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Post by No Screen Name on May 15, 2009 9:54:23 GMT -5
I agree 100%. Also, I believe that the under-30 crowd still has unrealistic views of marriage--that it's a non-stop fun fairytale; non-stop sex, hand-holding, Valentine's Day gifts, kissing, going out, etc.
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Post by Blu on May 15, 2009 10:00:23 GMT -5
I agree 100%. Also, I believe that the under-30 crowd still has unrealistic views of marriage--that it's a non-stop fun fairytale; non-stop sex, hand-holding, Valentine's Day gifts, kissing, going out, etc. Just seems like a generalization to me.... |
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Post by THE emPRISS on May 15, 2009 10:10:44 GMT -5
Because I feel like pre-30 (and sometimes after) you need to focus on yourself, your career, and becoming stable....THEN worry about being a couple. I think it's possible to focus on all of those things while marriage. Some people can and some people can't. Some people never attain stability in those things even at a later age whether married or not. I said "sometimes after". You asked why...that why I think so. People need time to experience life and get to know who they are without the added stressors of a committed relationship, IMO. I dont know too many men who were marriage material before 30 anyway. Many with great marriage potential but very few who were actually in a good position all around. All the men I know who married before 30 are cheating or have cheated on their wives; still like to party, etc etc. I personally dont think many males are in the frame of mind before 30. I didnt say all...but based on my observations, my opinion still stands. |
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Post by Blu on May 15, 2009 10:21:30 GMT -5
I think it's possible to focus on all of those things while marriage. Some people can and some people can't. Some people never attain stability in those things even at a later age whether married or not. I said "sometimes after". You asked why...that why I think so. People need time to experience life and get to know who they are without the added stressors of a committed relationship, IMO. I dont know too many men who were marriage material before 30 anyway. Many with great marriage potential but very few who were actually in a good position all around. All the men I know who married before 30 are cheating or have cheated on their wives; still like to party, etc etc. I personally dont think many males are in the frame of mind before 30. I didnt say all...but based on my observations, my opinion still stands. I can understand your opinion because there are many men and women out there that give substance to it. I actually know more single men over 30 that are out of the marriage frame of mind. I have a nice amount of male friends that have gotten married around the same time as me (24-25 age range). It's interesting to watch the differences in how each of their marriages progress. Some you could tell were going to be lucky if they made it past 2 yrs and others just seemed to compliment their significant other greatly. |
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Post by DamieQue™ on May 15, 2009 10:35:28 GMT -5
damn... I can't leave
Those words damn near Echoed when I read them - LOL.
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Post by Cambist on May 15, 2009 11:00:45 GMT -5
Just keeping it raw Damie...LOL!!
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Post by DamieQue™ on May 15, 2009 11:09:48 GMT -5
Naw dude... that's one of my fears. That I meet a lady, she seems on the up-and-up. Everything is all good (meaning you laugh, you love, you fight, you make up - but you feel like you know this person). Then you get married and you meet this person who has been hiding behind the Public Relations Director for the last 2 years who is unleashed on your a$$ now that you can't escape
The best way to sum it up is in the words of Magneto as he ran away from the Mutant C0mpound as Phoenix disintegrated the whole facility:
"My God What Have I Done"?
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Post by Cambist on May 15, 2009 11:13:51 GMT -5
That fear is innate because it's soooooooo real! LOL!!
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Post by 123Diva on May 15, 2009 11:14:20 GMT -5
Naw dude... that's one of my fears. That I meet a lady, she seems on the up-and-up. Everything is all good (meaning you laugh, you love, you fight, you make up - but you feel like you know this person). Then you get married and you meet this person who has been hiding behind the Public Relations Director for the last 2 years who is unleashed on your a$$ now that you can't escape
The best way to sum it up is in the words of Magneto as he ran away from the Mutant C0mpound as Phoenix disintegrated the whole facility:
"My God What Have I Done"?
::DEAD:: |
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Post by DamieQue™ on May 15, 2009 11:25:05 GMT -5
Naw dude... that's one of my fears. That I meet a lady, she seems on the up-and-up. Everything is all good (meaning you laugh, you love, you fight, you make up - but you feel like you know this person). Then you get married and you meet this person who has been hiding behind the Public Relations Director for the last 2 years who is unleashed on your a$$ now that you can't escape
The best way to sum it up is in the words of Magneto as he ran away from the Mutant C0mpound as Phoenix disintegrated the whole facility:
"My God What Have I Done"?
::DEAD:: |
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Post by Highly Favored on May 15, 2009 11:27:32 GMT -5
I was very young, I was unafraid. Me, too. |
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. I'm an individualistic person, but when I see a situation that is worth it, I'm willing to put aside my personal desires for a common goal. I got married at 24 because I was sure that my wife was the one I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. I knew we had different ideas on different things, but the way I felt about her assured me that I was willing to be faithful and meet on some type of common ground when needed. 
I have even heard of people who shacked for YEARS and got married say that everything changed when they married. 
