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Post by coldfront06 on May 14, 2009 15:24:36 GMT -5
Marriage isn't something I'm going to jump into with a "Ah fuck it, lets just do it and see how it goes" attitude...lol. If I have serious doubts before hand, I can't see myself doing it. I tried the whole "lets overlook our doubts and do it anyway" approach and it was a failure. If I have doubts about her character, I shouldn't marry her. If I have doubts about MY character, I shouldn't marry her.
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Post by T-Rex91 on May 14, 2009 15:25:15 GMT -5
OUR PEOPLE....UNITED.....WILL NEVER BE DEFEATED!
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Post by LogAKAlly <3'n Keef on May 14, 2009 15:30:09 GMT -5
Marriage isn't something I'm going to jump into with a "Ah fuck it, lets just do it and see how it goes" attitude...lol. If I have serious doubts before hand, I can't see myself doing it. I tried the whole "lets overlook our doubts and do it anyway" approach and it was a failure. If I have doubts about her character, I shouldn't marry her. If I have doubts about MY character, I shouldn't marry her. I'm not talking about legitimate concerns, I'm talkin about fear that it will end. |
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Post by Mrs. Eyes on May 14, 2009 15:30:15 GMT -5
^ Nice!
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Post by LogAKAlly <3'n Keef on May 14, 2009 15:30:47 GMT -5
OUR PEOPLE....UNITED.....WILL NEVER BE DEFEATED! Should we get some posters and protest? Get it - posters, like posters...you know posters?? LMAO!!!! |
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Post by coldfront06 on May 14, 2009 15:32:43 GMT -5
Marriage isn't something I'm going to jump into with a "Ah fuck it, lets just do it and see how it goes" attitude...lol. If I have serious doubts before hand, I can't see myself doing it. I tried the whole "lets overlook our doubts and do it anyway" approach and it was a failure. If I have doubts about her character, I shouldn't marry her. If I have doubts about MY character, I shouldn't marry her. I'm not talking about legitimate concerns, I'm talkin about fear that it will end. For me, the fear that it will end is based on legitimate concerns. If I have a woman and I don't have any legitimate concerns, I'll marry her. There will still be some fear of the unknown, but thats not what I was talking about and that alone wouldn't stop me from marrying someone. |
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Post by DamieQue™ on May 14, 2009 15:37:08 GMT -5
Welcome to Damie's thread - can I direct you today's special? We have a fine question about what men find uncomfortable about marriage served a tasty side of what women might find troubling about marriage... can I interest you in a plate? 
Yep they can go to either one end of the extreme... they can be all loving all embracing or jaded and evil... no reason to assume one or the other - especially since the topic is just about NAMING the issues not debating their merit. Let me just go ahead and get my smite hand ready... cause you're asking for it. [/color][/quote] Yep, that applies to men as well. And if you're old and broken down and married someone 10-15 years younger, isn't she settling??  LMAO!![/quote] You know if you wait long enough... the Men Do It Too defense will invariably make it's way onto a thread. Get your protest signs, I'll be waiting with water hoses
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Post by LogAKAlly <3'n Keef on May 14, 2009 15:39:16 GMT -5
You know if you wait long enough... the Men Do It Too defense will invariably make it's way onto a thread. Get your protest signs, I'll be waiting with water hoses[/quote] Answer the question nukkuh!  Ain't she settling??
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Post by DamieQue™ on May 14, 2009 15:39:24 GMT -5
I'm not talking about legitimate concerns, I'm talkin about fear that it will end. For me, the fear that it will end is based on legitimate concerns. If I have a woman and I don't have any legitimate concerns, I'll marry her. There will still be some fear of the unknown, but thats not what I was talking about and that alone wouldn't stop me from marrying someone.
We can debate if they've valid later - or considering the schizophrenic nature of OO I guess we can debate them now or hell let's debate them before they're even said.
Water hoses and attack dogs... for 91 and Pika |
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Post by DamieQue™ on May 14, 2009 15:41:10 GMT -5
You know if you wait long enough... the Men Do It Too defense will invariably make it's way onto a thread. Get your protest signs, I'll be waiting with water hoses Answer the question nukkuh! Ain't she settling??[/quote] If Michael Jordan gets married to a 29 year old is she settling? So I guess we can do away with the argument that settling it is strictly governed by age discrepancy.
Now go fix me a sauhn-wich.
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Post by LogAKAlly <3'n Keef on May 14, 2009 15:42:09 GMT -5
I'm not talking about legitimate concerns, I'm talkin about fear that it will end. For me, the fear that it will end is based on legitimate concerns. If I have a woman and I don't have any legitimate concerns, I'll marry her. There will still be some fear of the unknown, but thats not what I was talking about and that alone wouldn't stop me from marrying someone. OK, then we agree. |
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Post by ShimmeringSTAR on May 14, 2009 15:42:49 GMT -5
In don't think LOVE or Marriage is for everyone...
Many people have issues with trust and insecurities some just do it for the fear of NOT being alone...
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Post by LogAKAlly <3'n Keef on May 14, 2009 15:46:46 GMT -5
You know if you wait long enough... the Men Do It Too defense will invariably make it's way onto a thread. Get your protest signs, I'll be waiting with water hoses[/color
Answer the question nukkuh!
Ain't she settling??
Now go fix me a sauhn-wich.
Yeah, you gone get the Pika Spechul! ;D (Why do mean abuse you then ask you to cook for them??) BUT.... Damie, I watched Micheal Jordan: I am a fan of JackMicheal Jordan; Jordan could have been a friend of mine. Damie, you're no Michael Jordan!  So, isn't she settling... |
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Post by No Screen Name on May 14, 2009 15:49:39 GMT -5
;D ;D ;D
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Post by Mrs. Eyes on May 14, 2009 15:50:24 GMT -5
I have this guy @ work that makes me look sideways at marriages.
1. They got married for the baby.
2. She is cheating on him, and he knows it.
3. He helped her jump-off get a job at where we work.
4. Her jump off is also married.
5. She is now pregnant with said jump-off's baby.
Like how much must you endure to keep "working on your marriage"?
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Post by Bunny Hop on May 14, 2009 15:56:12 GMT -5
I have this guy @ work that makes me look sideways at marriages. 1. They got married for the baby. 2. She is cheating on him, and he knows it. 3. He helped her jump-off get a job at where we work. 4. Her jump off is also married. 5. She is now pregnant with said jump-off's baby. Like how much must you endure to keep "working on your marriage"? But this is how much THEY have to endure.... |
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Post by Mrs. Eyes on May 14, 2009 15:57:52 GMT -5
I have this guy @ work that makes me look sideways at marriages. 1. They got married for the baby. 2. She is cheating on him, and he knows it. 3. He helped her jump-off get a job at where we work. 4. Her jump off is also married. 5. She is now pregnant with said jump-off's baby. Like how much must you endure to keep "working on your marriage"? But this is how much THEY have to endure.... Good point. I also watched my mother get cheated on...........so yeah. I'm a lil leery, but I feel for the poor guy. Wait. I take that back. I don't feel for him............... |
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Post by LogAKAlly <3'n Keef on May 14, 2009 16:01:53 GMT -5
I have this guy @ work that makes me look sideways at marriages. 1. They got married for the baby. 2. She is cheating on him, and he knows it. 3. He helped her jump-off get a job at where we work. 4. Her jump off is also married. 5. She is now pregnant with said jump-off's baby. Like how much must you endure to keep "working on your marriage"? I don't agree with getting married nor staying married SOLELY for the kids. We are supposed to be a reference point for love & relationships - IMO when you do that, you are giving the child a false sense of reality because you are living a lie. I understand that the greater lesson would be "honor your commitment" but when things like abuse and blatant infidelity come into the picture - you also have to teach you kids that sometimes "enough is enough." |
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Post by THE emPRISS on May 14, 2009 16:03:08 GMT -5
Im afraid of marriage b.c I dont really trust men. Also, I dont really see what the big deal is...it seems like alot of work. And everyone you see is cheating...so whats the point?
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Post by Bathroom Model on May 14, 2009 16:05:45 GMT -5
not choosing the right person. getting bored with my SO. Until death can be a long time.
and divorce sucks.
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Post by No Screen Name on May 14, 2009 16:15:25 GMT -5
Does anybody in this post actually know any FAITHFUL, HAPPILY married people?  I don't know that many people who are married, faithful and happy about it. I knew this one woman that claimed she was happy--but she and her husband divorced. |
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Post by Bunny Hop on May 14, 2009 16:31:39 GMT -5
Sometimes I think a lot of this stuff (happiness, being faithful) is relative. What we think someone's marriage is may not be what it actually is.
I know a few married couples but not too many well enough to say anything about their marriage. As for the one couple I do know somewhat very well...I just don't know what to think. I could say what I think based on the stuff I would and would not like in a marriage but it seems to be ok for her so I can't call it.
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Post by DamieQue™ on May 14, 2009 16:33:09 GMT -5
Does anybody in this post actually know any FAITHFUL, HAPPILY married people? I don't know that many people who are married, faithful and happy about it. I knew this one woman that claimed she was happy--but she and her husband divorced.
(pause)
Yeah that's about it |
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Post by 123Diva on May 14, 2009 16:47:50 GMT -5
I am afraid of failure.
I am afraid of then bringing other people (children) into that failure.
I am afraid of disappointing God.
I am afraid of being with the wrong man.
I am afraid of the person I can be if I end up with the wrong man.
I am afraid of ending up just like my parents.
At the end of the day marriage is a risk and I believe in the possibility of there being someone out there who just may be worth me taking that risk. Nothing risked, nothing gained. Such is life.
I know that I cannot know EVERYTHING there is to know about a man before walking getting married. However, i do believe that I can know enough to make a well-informed decision. The most important thing to me will be that person's commitment to me, to God, to our marriage. If I am secure in that, I will move forward. If I have doubts, I won't do it. I can't do it. Growing up in a home with parents who can't stand each other but refuse to get a divorce and stopped even trying with each other, and had 4 kids despite their mess is NOT the business.
When I take that step, I will do it with 100% commitment to making it work "til death do us part" and I expect the same in return. When I have kids, I want their primary example to be that of a loving, committed couple. I can go on and on, but those are my general thoughts.
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Post by coldfront06 on May 14, 2009 18:54:02 GMT -5
I am afraid of failure. I am afraid of then bringing other people (children) into that failure. I am afraid of disappointing God. I am afraid of being with the wrong man. I am afraid of the person I can be if I end up with the wrong man. I am afraid of ending up just like my parents. At the end of the day marriage is a risk and I believe in the possibility of there being someone out there who just may be worth me taking that risk. Nothing risked, nothing gained. Such is life. I know that I cannot know EVERYTHING there is to know about a man before walking getting married. However, i do believe that I can know enough to make a well-informed decision. The most important thing to me will be that person's commitment to me, to God, to our marriage. If I am secure in that, I will move forward. If I have doubts, I won't do it. I can't do it. Growing up in a home with parents who can't stand each other but refuse to get a divorce and stopped even trying with each other, and had 4 kids despite their mess is NOT the business. When I take that step, I will do it with 100% commitment to making it work "til death do us part" and I expect the same in return. When I have kids, I want their primary example to be that of a loving, committed couple. I can go on and on, but those are my general thoughts. Exalt |
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Post by frozenmenace on May 14, 2009 19:08:18 GMT -5
I'm not afraid of marriage..I just don't want to put in the work that marriage requires. I am just fine being single and only having to worry about myself.
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Post by coldfront06 on May 14, 2009 19:11:48 GMT -5
Does anybody in this post actually know any FAITHFUL, HAPPILY married people? I don't know that many people who are married, faithful and happy about it. I knew this one woman that claimed she was happy--but she and her husband divorced. I know a few. For what its worth, I don't feel like a marriage is necessarily a failure just because it ends in divorce. I feel like a marriage is a failure when one or both parties regret ever getting married in the first place. Sadly, most of the couples I know regret ever getting married in the first place. |
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Post by LogAKAlly <3'n Keef on May 14, 2009 19:12:35 GMT -5
I am afraid of failure.
I am afraid of then bringing other people (children) into that failure.
I am afraid of disappointing God.
I am afraid of being with the wrong man.
I am afraid of the person I can be if I end up with the wrong man.
I am afraid of ending up just like my parents. [/size] At the end of the day marriage is a risk and I believe in the possibility of there being someone out there who just may be worth me taking that risk. Nothing risked, nothing gained. Such is life.I know that I cannot know EVERYTHING there is to know about a man before walking getting married. However, i do believe that I can know enough to make a well-informed decision. The most important thing to me will be that person's commitment to me, to God, to our marriage. If I am secure in that, I will move forward. If I have doubts, I won't do it. I can't do it. Growing up in a home with parents who can't stand each other but refuse to get a divorce and stopped even trying with each other, and had 4 kids despite their mess is NOT the business. When I take that step, I will do it with 100% commitment to making it work "til death do us part" and I expect the same in return. When I have kids, I want their primary example to be that of a loving, committed couple. I can go on and on, but those are my general thoughts.[/quote] ^^I'm glad the ladies were able to chime in ;D I think I have an exalt avaible. |
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Post by LogAKAlly <3'n Keef on May 14, 2009 19:14:51 GMT -5
Does anybody in this post actually know any FAITHFUL, HAPPILY married people? I don't know that many people who are married, faithful and happy about it. I knew this one woman that claimed she was happy--but she and her husband divorced. I know a few. For what its worth, I don't feel like a marriage is necessarily a failure just because it ends in divorce. I feel like a marriage is a failure when one or both parties regret ever getting married in the first place. Sadly, most of the couples I know regret ever getting married in the first place. |
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Post by Mrs. Eyes on May 14, 2009 19:19:25 GMT -5
Does anybody in this post actually know any FAITHFUL, HAPPILY married people? I don't know that many people who are married, faithful and happy about it. I knew this one woman that claimed she was happy--but she and her husband divorced. I know a few. For what its worth, I don't feel like a marriage is necessarily a failure just because it ends in divorce. I feel like a marriage is a failure when one or both parties regret ever getting married in the first place. Sadly, most of the couples I know regret ever getting married in the first place. I agree. I don't want to be in that spectrum. I feel as long as we align our relationship with God, to each other, then we should be fine. Whatever concerns we have, should be brought to the table, BEFORE any ring is brought forth.Why go thru all that hassle after I say yes? |
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I don't know that many people who are married, faithful and happy about it.