To All You OOA Women Rock'n Naturals.....

[T-Rex91]

Ladies, ISN'T THE PROLIFERATION OF NATURAL HAIR THE NEW "GOOD HAIR" DEBATE?

Since I've transitioned, I've noticed a LOT more attention given to hair grade than when we're all walking around with relaxed locks. When I put a lil more effort in and have curl definition, I get way more compliments than on those days when I'm frizzy and less defined. People have even said, "Ooh girl, thank God you have curly versus kinky hair." Every hair board I read, it's all about curl definition and how to "train" your hair to curl if it doesn't naturally do it. I don't think straight is the "natural" ideal but I'm def feelin some kinda way from folks who act like a 2C trumps a 4B any day.

Just a rant.......

[LejaOMG]

same debate to me. "good hair" grows better, straightens straighter, bounces more, tends away from breakage, etc, so....even when perms (which would seemingly be an equalizer) were all the rage, people with "good hair" still got more compliments, etc.

People with 4B/C/Z hair seem to struggle more with their natural journey (due to problems with moisture balance, tangling, shrinkage and difficulty of achieving "sheen") therefore, I have even (under my breath) been thankful for having more manageable curls...not because my hair is better than anyone's, but it is simply easier to deal with. I don't agree with certain self hater that curly hair is more attractive than kinky hair. I do prefer BIG hair to small hair, so I may be more drawn to compliment a sister with a big fro (no matter the texture) than a TWA (no matter the texture).

[QUIET As Kept]

While I have admittedly not been your #1 fan (for reasons I'd be more than willing to share with you if you ever care to know) and that has come across in some of my posts to you, this time I really wasn't coming at you or trying to find anything wrong with your post. In fact I even had someone else read my post to let me know how it came across. *shrugs*

*pours 2 glasses of homemade plum wine & hands one to RC*

Mar 28, 2011 14:11:23 GMT -5 Rare_Commodity said:

Well I don't know what being "hype" is I was just commenting but you usually find something wrong with my posts.

*bows down asking for forgiveness*

[Rare_Commodity]

Mar 28, 2011 20:48:18 GMT -5 QUIET As Kept said:

While I have admittedly not been your #1 fan (for reasons I'd be more than willing to share with you if you ever care to know) and that has come across in some of my posts to you, this time I really wasn't coming at you or trying to find anything wrong with your post. In fact I even had someone else read my post to let me know how it came across. *shrugs*

*pours 2 glasses of homemade plum wine & hands one to RC*

Mar 28, 2011 14:11:23 GMT -5 Rare_Commodity said:

Well I don't know what being "hype" is I was just commenting but you usually find something wrong with my posts.

*bows down asking for forgiveness*

Oh ok that must have been a misunderstanding on my part; you can't always get a feel of a persons true meaning on the INET. My badz!

* accepts wine in exchange gives Q an olive branch(only after eating one)*

[Rare_Commodity]

People that I run across do equate the curly/wavy hair as "good hair" and the kinky hair as "bad hair"; honestly I have even said it myself a few times. I have 4a/B hair yes it is kinkier but its soft so somewhat manageable. I think that is the thing sometimes we get caught up on what "they" or other people say trying to fit this mold or image and we get lost in just being ourselves and liking what we like. I remember when I first started going natural my bf was like your hair looks nappy ....umm its called kinky heffa LOL! To me the black people I meet are more closed-minded and judgemental than white people<---they are real inquisitive and want to touch it.

I can't lie I did want some sexy curly hair but only way I can get that is a rod set or texturizer and even then it will probably come out looking like a jerry curl so I just gotta be content with what I have.

[Bunny Hop]

Mar 28, 2011 15:19:07 GMT -5 T-Rex91 said:

Ladies, ISN'T THE PROLIFERATION OF NATURAL HAIR THE NEW "GOOD HAIR" DEBATE?

Since I've transitioned, I've noticed a LOT more attention given to hair grade than when we're all walking around with relaxed locks. When I put a lil more effort in and have curl definition, I get way more compliments than on those days when I'm frizzy and less defined. People have even said, "Ooh girl, thank God you have curly versus kinky hair." Every hair board I read, it's all about curl definition and how to "train" your hair to curl if it doesn't naturally do it. I don't think straight is the "natural" ideal but I'm def feelin some kinda way from folks who act like a 2C trumps a 4B any day.

Just a rant.......

I notice that hair comes up a lot of you're the only natural (wearing your texture) in a group of straight hair women. I would always wonder if I'm just being paranoid, if I did that same thing when I was relaxed or if I even cared about natural hair at all. And every time it happens I secretly hope no one says something stupid at or to me because folks will try you.

I get the most compliments when I wear a twist out or braid because people assume I have "gud hurr," which is dumb because you can't really look at my styled hair and tell anything about it. What's always funny is that these same people would not be giving me a compliment if I had my texture out. If I was around that same person wearing a freshly washed puff they'd look at me like because I'm shaming all Black people with my big naps, LOL.

[T-Rex91]

I just (naively) thought that being natural would tame the convo, not kick it up a notch. I have never had so many conversations about my hair in my life!

From Madame Noire. I agree with most of these.....

10 things they don't tell you about going natural

People will judge you, based on your hair
Whether it’s your grandmother who’s practically disowned you because she thinks you don’t get your “hair did” anymore, or an associate eyeing with a look of sympathy, it will take time for the people in your life to accept your hair. Not only them, people you don’t even know will prejudge you based on what they think your hair is saying. A few months after I had undergone the “big chop,” I started my freshman year of college. A girl, a black girl I might add, who later became one of my good friends, told me that she thought I was mean when she first saw me. When I asked her why, she said because of your hair. Even though she couldn’t pinpoint why my hair made her think I was mean it influenced her opinion about me before we ever had a discussion.

It’s not easier than having a relaxer
Remember those days, pre relaxer when you had to sit in between your mother’s (or father’s) legs while they combed your hair? For some of us, this time was torture. There was squirming, yelping, and crying on those special occasion days. That’s what I liken the maintenance of natural hair to. Taking care of your natural hair can be like styling a thick haired, tender headed little girl the night before Easter Sunday. And you’re not the child anymore, your hair is. It kicks, screams and rebels against what you want it to do. When I first started wearing my twist-out afro, people would say, “ooh so you just wake up and go?” Uhhh…no. Not that natural hair is harder to manage than relaxed hair, it just presents its own challenges.

You’ll hear from different men on the street
Like it or not, for a lot of us what we do with our hair is a least influenced partially by what we think a man, whether he’s our father, husband, boyfriend or stranger, is going to say about it. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard women say “I want to go natural, but I’m scared he won’t like it.” That opinion is potentially important; but that’s not my point. What I’m saying is while some men prefer the silky, straight don’t-care-why-it’s-long type of hair, you’d be surprised at the number of men who have a preference for natural hair and will go out of their way to compliment you on it.

Your hair is not going to act like hers (No, not even your momma’s)
One of the biggest shocks in the natural transition can be the fact that your hair won’t do what someone else’s will. It’s a tough concept to grasp as we have hair inspirations. (You know you’ve gone into a salon requesting to rock Halle’s pixie.) We would like our hair to do and look a certain way, but you’ll soon realize that your hair has a mind of its own and while you may be able to ask it (nicely) what you would like it to do, it will tell you what time it is. You’ll just have to adjust to its patterns.

You might go through an ‘am I still cute?’ phase
Whether it happens when the beautician spins you around to the mirror for the first time, when you wake up to a matted mess or when you’re just having an off day, you might wonder if your new natural do has affected your attractiveness. You’ll wonder if you’ve made the right decision and may find yourself wandering the black hair care section of Wal-Mart longing for a perm. Sure your transition has affected your look and sometimes certain hairstyles look better on certain facial structures etc. Some women can’t handle this phase. Some feel the solution is waiting until it grows out, others revert back to the relaxer and others, experiment with other, more flattering styles. Either way it’s about accepting the new way you look or doing something to put you at peace with your appearance.

It will take you a while to get used to the way your hair looks in the sink
Unless your hair is naturally straight, you’ll notice the little curly ques that come out of your head and how much they resemble some hair elsewhere on your body. You know, the hair down there. It’s not so much you; you know that hair came from your head, you just don’t want house guests or non-natural folks to think you just let your pubes run loose like that.

You might find yourself saddling your natural high horse; but get down, quick!
Once you get your hair looking right, you’ve found a style that works, you’re receiving compliments and your mane makes you feel powerful, you’ll want your other sisters to have this same feeling. And that’s great and really admirable of you. But in your quest to empower other black women don’t forget that some women simply don’t want or don’t like natural hair! And it doesn’t mean they don’t love themselves either. It’s a preference. I’ve seen women so ready to convert a “straight hair” they don’t realize that they’re being offensive and counterproductive. If your intent is to empower another woman, attacking her based on the way she wears her hair, especially a black woman, is not the way to go about it.

It might not be as healthy as you thought it would
Ooo don’t let these online tutorials fool you, if you don’t take care of your hair, relaxed or natural, it will look a hot mess. I’m a witness. There’s this assumption that your hair will immediately take on lioness power once you do away with the perm. Not so. Your hair might even become weaker in some ways. It will require more moisture, will tangle easily etc.

You won’t hate relaxed hair
When a family member, friend or associate would go natural and then two weeks later go back to perming their hair, I’d be appalled. It took me a minute to learn that it doesn’t have to be and isn’t an “either-or” for some people. For some people it’s a “both-and.” I know sisters who are technically natural but will wear a weave/wig in a minute to switch the style up. It doesn’t mean she’s conflicted in her soul; it means, she likes variety.

You’ll want somebody to touch it, just the right somebody
We have a thing about people touching our hair. Definitely no strangers and even our most intimates don’t get the privilege under the right circumstances. But this might change along with the texture of your hair. As I said, you’ll take pride in your hair. And maybe, just maybe you’ll want to share it with others. So if that means letting a genuinely curious person explore the jungle that is your hair and scalp then so be it. And if it’s a lover, then let him experience first hand how magnificent it is in there.

[LejaOMG]

91, can u share what BF thinks of your new 'do?

[T-Rex91]

Actually Leja, he's been the biggest supporter. Initially after my BC, I was wearing tree braids and wigs and he HATED it. When I'd wear my TWA on weekends, he'd beg me to continue wearing it that way. Late last year I started wearing the TWA (now an A...LOL) full time and he's very happy.

[QUIET As Kept]

*Katt Williams voice* This ish right here!!!!!!

Both times I went natural were before it was such a common thing, so there were nowhere near the number of resources available as there are now, so I learned a LOT of this list from experience....especially 2 & 4. It was really easy for about a month or 2 while my hair was short...then it was a wrap. The first time, I went back to chemicals after a year...it was just too much. And NOBODY prepared me for shrinkage! lol Even after I accepted that my hair wasn't going to look like any of my family members, I was not ready for it look as short as it did...I swear it felt it just stopped growing!

Mar 30, 2011 7:44:51 GMT -5 T-Rex91 said:

I just (naively) thought that being natural would tame the convo, not kick it up a notch. I have never had so many conversations about my hair in my life!

From Madame Noire. I agree with most of these.....

10 things they don't tell you about going natural

People will judge you, based on your hair
Whether it’s your grandmother who’s practically disowned you because she thinks you don’t get your “hair did” anymore, or an associate eyeing with a look of sympathy, it will take time for the people in your life to accept your hair. Not only them, people you don’t even know will prejudge you based on what they think your hair is saying. A few months after I had undergone the “big chop,” I started my freshman year of college. A girl, a black girl I might add, who later became one of my good friends, told me that she thought I was mean when she first saw me. When I asked her why, she said because of your hair. Even though she couldn’t pinpoint why my hair made her think I was mean it influenced her opinion about me before we ever had a discussion.

It’s not easier than having a relaxer
Remember those days, pre relaxer when you had to sit in between your mother’s (or father’s) legs while they combed your hair? For some of us, this time was torture. There was squirming, yelping, and crying on those special occasion days. That’s what I liken the maintenance of natural hair to. Taking care of your natural hair can be like styling a thick haired, tender headed little girl the night before Easter Sunday. And you’re not the child anymore, your hair is. It kicks, screams and rebels against what you want it to do. When I first started wearing my twist-out afro, people would say, “ooh so you just wake up and go?” Uhhh…no. Not that natural hair is harder to manage than relaxed hair, it just presents its own challenges.

You’ll hear from different men on the street
Like it or not, for a lot of us what we do with our hair is a least influenced partially by what we think a man, whether he’s our father, husband, boyfriend or stranger, is going to say about it. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard women say “I want to go natural, but I’m scared he won’t like it.” That opinion is potentially important; but that’s not my point. What I’m saying is while some men prefer the silky, straight don’t-care-why-it’s-long type of hair, you’d be surprised at the number of men who have a preference for natural hair and will go out of their way to compliment you on it.

Your hair is not going to act like hers (No, not even your momma’s)
One of the biggest shocks in the natural transition can be the fact that your hair won’t do what someone else’s will. It’s a tough concept to grasp as we have hair inspirations. (You know you’ve gone into a salon requesting to rock Halle’s pixie.) We would like our hair to do and look a certain way, but you’ll soon realize that your hair has a mind of its own and while you may be able to ask it (nicely) what you would like it to do, it will tell you what time it is. You’ll just have to adjust to its patterns.

You might go through an ‘am I still cute?’ phase
Whether it happens when the beautician spins you around to the mirror for the first time, when you wake up to a matted mess or when you’re just having an off day, you might wonder if your new natural do has affected your attractiveness. You’ll wonder if you’ve made the right decision and may find yourself wandering the black hair care section of Wal-Mart longing for a perm. Sure your transition has affected your look and sometimes certain hairstyles look better on certain facial structures etc. Some women can’t handle this phase. Some feel the solution is waiting until it grows out, others revert back to the relaxer and others, experiment with other, more flattering styles. Either way it’s about accepting the new way you look or doing something to put you at peace with your appearance.

It will take you a while to get used to the way your hair looks in the sink
Unless your hair is naturally straight, you’ll notice the little curly ques that come out of your head and how much they resemble some hair elsewhere on your body. You know, the hair down there. It’s not so much you; you know that hair came from your head, you just don’t want house guests or non-natural folks to think you just let your pubes run loose like that.

You might find yourself saddling your natural high horse; but get down, quick!
Once you get your hair looking right, you’ve found a style that works, you’re receiving compliments and your mane makes you feel powerful, you’ll want your other sisters to have this same feeling. And that’s great and really admirable of you. But in your quest to empower other black women don’t forget that some women simply don’t want or don’t like natural hair! And it doesn’t mean they don’t love themselves either. It’s a preference. I’ve seen women so ready to convert a “straight hair” they don’t realize that they’re being offensive and counterproductive. If your intent is to empower another woman, attacking her based on the way she wears her hair, especially a black woman, is not the way to go about it.

It might not be as healthy as you thought it would
Ooo don’t let these online tutorials fool you, if you don’t take care of your hair, relaxed or natural, it will look a hot mess. I’m a witness. There’s this assumption that your hair will immediately take on lioness power once you do away with the perm. Not so. Your hair might even become weaker in some ways. It will require more moisture, will tangle easily etc.

You won’t hate relaxed hair
When a family member, friend or associate would go natural and then two weeks later go back to perming their hair, I’d be appalled. It took me a minute to learn that it doesn’t have to be and isn’t an “either-or” for some people. For some people it’s a “both-and.” I know sisters who are technically natural but will wear a weave/wig in a minute to switch the style up. It doesn’t mean she’s conflicted in her soul; it means, she likes variety.

You’ll want somebody to touch it, just the right somebody
We have a thing about people touching our hair. Definitely no strangers and even our most intimates don’t get the privilege under the right circumstances. But this might change along with the texture of your hair. As I said, you’ll take pride in your hair. And maybe, just maybe you’ll want to share it with others. So if that means letting a genuinely curious person explore the jungle that is your hair and scalp then so be it. And if it’s a lover, then let him experience first hand how magnificent it is in there.

[T-Rex91]

The only one on this list I can't identify with is the natural high horse. It's def not for everyone and depending on how realistic your expectations are, you may or may not be happy with the results. I do think we oversuse weaves and such but unless you have a professional stylist on call like Oprah, I couldn't imagine trying to manage and detangle that texture of hair without a lil chemical help. Her hair is ridiculously think.

Yeah Soror, shrinkage SUCKS!!!!!!!!!

[T-Rex91]

Mar 30, 2011 9:24:35 GMT -5 QUIET As Kept said:

*Katt Williams voice* This ish right here!!!!!!

Random thought... I miss Katt's lil crazy arse . I was watching a rerun of It's Pimpin, Pimpin on Comedy Central the other day and he was hilarious.

[QUIET As Kept]

Yeah...I don't think I ever got on a hair high horse...its just never been that deep for me. I never had any deep, philosophical or cultural or spiritual reason for going natural, so I wasn't as "steadfast" as some folks I came across. Its just hair *shrugs*

(which, btw is currently short, relaxed, and colored lol)

[Bunny Hop]

So apparently thick eyebrows is a sign of your good hairedness (I know that's not a word). I was wearing big fuzzy braids and a scarf. I really do not have what folks would consider good hair, LOL. My shrunken hair usually only gets compliments from other naturals and some random dude every once in a while.

So yeah...sucks for all you ladies with thin eyebrows

*end sarcasm*

[T-Rex91]

<----wants thicker eyebrows
<---cries that Bun came up in here flaunting voluptuous brows amidst the less fortinate

[LejaOMG]

Mar 31, 2011 12:30:57 GMT -5 Bunny Hop said:

So apparently thick eyebrows is a sign of your good hairedness (I know that's not a word). I was wearing big fuzzy braids and a scarf. I really do not have what folks would consider good hair, LOL. My shrunken hair usually only gets compliments from other naturals and some random dude every once in a while.

So yeah...sucks for all you ladies with thin eyebrows

*end sarcasm*

girl, you ain't know?

[QUIET As Kept]

I thought you ladies might enjoy this

[T-Rex91]

LOL @ the knife and vaseline.........

Luckily I haven't gotten the stupid questions.

[Bunny Hop]

Mar 31, 2011 13:52:24 GMT -5 T-Rex91 said:

<----wants thicker eyebrows
<---cries that Bun came up in here flaunting voluptuous brows amidst the less fortinate

The grass isn't always greener. I'm a few days away from looking like I have two fat fuzzy caterpillars on my face.

[Rare_Commodity]

You do threading or waxing?

[Bunny Hop]

threading

[LejaOMG]

setback after setback! I had my hair pressed last week and I think I caught some heat damage. My curls are WAY looser than they should be and the entire front of my head (from my hairline to about my ears) is stick-straight. This sucks!

[T-Rex91]

would a deep condition help if any damage has occurred?

[MochaD]

Apr 4, 2011 11:22:40 GMT -5 LejaOMG said:

setback after setback! I had my hair pressed last week and I think I caught some heat damage. My curls are WAY looser than they should be and the entire front of my head (from my hairline to about my ears) is stick-straight. This sucks!

Yeah, that's heat damage fo'sho! If a deep conditioner doesn't work, try beer (any kind), if that don't work, get to trimming...or cutting because it will never curl the same again

[LejaOMG]

I'm gonna give it a sec and see if it comes back. I don't understand why one press would damage it so, when I used to get weekly Dominican blow-outs, press & curls and such. I've used MUCH more heat that this before. Ugh!

[Rare_Commodity]

Thinking of getting a new "protectie style" either kinky twists (which I have never had) or braids. Hmmmmmmmm

[Rare_Commodity]

Found an old product that is new to me want to order but shipping is crazy. Anybody heard of "House Call"?

[Bunny Hop]

Don't wear wigs to the ostrich farm! LOL

[Chal™]

Apr 23, 2011 11:19:29 GMT -5 Bunny Hop said:

Don't wear wigs to the ostrich farm! LOL

It's already funny when you watch it, but oh my goodness, in slow motion it is absolutely HILARIOUS!!!

[QUIET As Kept]

Apparently you shouldn't wear them when you're drinking & driving either (according to Trina Braxton) lol

Apr 23, 2011 11:19:29 GMT -5 Bunny Hop said:

Don't wear wigs to the ostrich farm! LOL