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Post by Julie Art on Jul 11, 2008 15:00:44 GMT -5
PLan B, for me, is like having a rainy day bank account. That is a plan B
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Post by LogAKAlly <3'n Keef on Jul 11, 2008 16:50:59 GMT -5
As Damie stated in the other thread...it seems it's just a matter of semantics...what we are calling PLAN B...others are calling PLAN A.
Same point...different label.
Now maybe I'm conFRused but the topic used Waiting to Exhale as an example. A woman who was not pursuing her dream and goals b/c she sacrificed them for her husbands...and opted to stay at home and raise the children, so that's the situation I was addressing.
My advice only pertains to women IN that situation, ALREADY married.
In a perfect world, each person comes into the relationship autonomous...but we KNOW...very often that's not the case. My advice is not to become lackadaisical and utterly dependent...which IS how women find themselves left HIGH and DRY.
If that weren't the case...this wouldn't be the topic...it would be more along the lines of..."I can't take care of myself but how do I heal after a divorce."
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Post by coldfront06 on Jul 11, 2008 16:56:57 GMT -5
Isn't a "Plan B" something that you go to once your Plan A fails? Thats why I'm having a hard time understanding education, savings, etc. as a Plan B. I think those should be part of your Plan A.
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Post by THE emPRISS on Jul 11, 2008 17:07:58 GMT -5
How many of you in here are married, close to being married or have been married? I'm curious. Been close to it... Opted for plan B  |
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Post by LogAKAlly <3'n Keef on Jul 11, 2008 17:10:58 GMT -5
Isn't a "Plan B" something that you go to once your Plan A fails? Thats why I'm having a hard time understanding education, savings, etc. as a Plan B. I think those should be part of your Plan A. I COMPLETELY AGREE CAM!! 100% But again, my advice is towards those who didn't enter into marriage under those terms. For some women...getting married and having a husbnad take care of them IS Plan A. It has been woven into the fabric of our Social structure. They only way a woman gets into this position is not having Plan A. So after they are married...and dependent on their husbands...my suggestion is...get an education and remain actively employed..."JUST IN CASE" (which would make it a Plan B) something goes wrong. BTW, I forgot who asked but... <~Is married 11 years |
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Post by THE emPRISS on Jul 11, 2008 17:13:12 GMT -5
My advice is if you feel you need a Plan B and C then you probably aren't ready and don't need to try to get married. My wife and I approached marriage saying that divorce was not and option. We merged our finances and our lives. If you can't trust folks with your money you really don't trust them. Having joint accounts allows us to foster oneness and makes us talk and hold each other accountable. In short seperate stuff breeds seperate lives and basically divides your household even if you don't realize it. Biblically its says two come together to be one flesh and that is how God sees you as one so why not act like it. I think the mistake women make is like Cam says they don't get involved and don't know about the accounts, how bills are paid, the balances on the savings, checking, insurance amounts. Hell divorce is not the only thing that could leave you in a lurch what if your SO dies or goes to jail then you need to know how to keep things up and running. Plan A coming together as a couple to makes sure you don't need a Plan B or C. If you have and alternate plan then you are planning for your marriage to fail so save yourself and someone else all the time, money and heartache...stay single. Im assuming this is subliminally in response to me since Im the only one who said Plan B or C....and like I said, it applies to ALL aspects of life NOT just relationships. And I disagree that having an alternative "IF" (not when) something goes awry is not equal to ASSUMING it will fail. ANd who said that it had to be due to a bad relationship? OTHER things happen in relationships like DEATH, BANKRUPTCY, etc etc etc....esp, if something happens, saaaaay, an illness where one or both of you cant work or something happens where your joint accounts a subject to seizuree..it would be SMART to have separate accounts that cant be reached so you can continue to survive. Its not just about divorce, other things happen too. See it every day re: bankruptcy and foreclosures. It's your opinion that separate things breed separate lives. I know plenty of couples who have both joint and separate accounts and it works out just fine. My parents have been married for over 20 years...and thats how they do it. How a household manages its finances is not subject to a single rule or formula. Besides, I dont want my husband buying me gifts (and vice versa) from a joint account Its not so black and white. I love how people jump to suggesting other folks to stay single based just because they have a different opinion on how to lead THEIR lives...smh |
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Post by LogAKAlly <3'n Keef on Jul 11, 2008 17:28:43 GMT -5
::PiggyBack::
As I said before...marriage is HIGH risk. Although we know what the Bible instructs...even Preachers/Pastors/Rev get divorced. I know that some people enter into marriage with the complete belief that it will last. The whole topic is about what Angela said her reason was for not taking steps to protect herself:
Movie Quote
"My marriage was suppsoed to last"
AS I stated before, taking precautions does not equate to a manifestation of the event occuring. That's REALLY illogical reasoning.
'
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Post by Cambist on Jul 11, 2008 18:49:20 GMT -5
Ok...let me say it this way. Planning for disaster is not a Plan B. It's smart planning. The Waiting to Exhale reference is a real situation and it happens but I PROMISE you that it is happening less and less as more women are entering the work force as professionals.
Now, here is my problem with Plan B. If you and your husband have separate accounts...that's fine. It's not necessarily Plan B but proper marriage planning.
Let's just be real here....What many (if not most) women mean when they say Plan B is what they would do in the case of a Waiting to Exhale situation. But when women talk about a Plan B they are not talking about separate accounts in case of a garnishment, lawsuit, death, lien, etc....they are talking about a muthfucka walking out to live with Buffy. In this case, the women are "preparing" for this event by stashing or putting away cash (or in what's case, cars and houses LOL!) in secret.
From a married man, this is foul.
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Post by LogAKAlly <3'n Keef on Jul 11, 2008 19:25:26 GMT -5
Ok...let me say it this way. Planning for disaster is not a Plan B. It's smart planning. The Waiting to Exhale reference is a real situation and it happens but I PROMISE you that it is happening less and less as more women are entering the work force as professionals. Now, here is my problem with Plan B. If you and your husband have separate accounts...that's fine. It's not necessarily Plan B but proper marriage planning. Let's just be real here....What many (if not most) women mean when they say Plan B is what they would do in the case of a Waiting to Exhale situation. But when women talk about a Plan B they are not talking about separate accounts in case of a garnishment, lawsuit, death, lien, etc ....they are talking about a muthfucka walking out to live with Buffy. In this case, the women are "preparing" for this event by stashing or putting away cash (or in what's case, cars and houses LOL!) in secret.
From a married man, this is foul. [/b] And runnin off with Buffy ain't?? LOL But yeah, me personally, I'M not alking about doing a Shawny (Shaq). If you're taking those kinds of steps...you're marriage is pretty much over already. |
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Post by Highly Favored on Jul 11, 2008 20:28:03 GMT -5
Isn't a "Plan B" something that you go to once your Plan A fails? Thats why I'm having a hard time understanding education, savings, etc. as a Plan B. I think those should be part of your Plan A. I COMPLETELY AGREE CAM!! 100% But again, my advice is towards those who didn't enter into marriage under those terms. For some women...getting married and having a husbnad take care of them IS Plan A. It has been woven into the fabric of our Social structure. They only way a woman gets into this position is not having Plan A. So after they are married...and dependent on their husbands...my suggestion is...get an education and remain actively employed..."JUST IN CASE" (which would make it a Plan B) something goes wrong. BTW, I forgot who asked but... <~Is married 11 years Camel mentioned having a "solid Plan A" in an earlier post. The women to whom you are referring in your post above need a Plan B, because Plan A (getting married and having a husband take care of them) is not solid. I really thought that most women had progressed beyond this plan now. I am disappointed to learn that it is obviously more prevalent than I thought. |
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Post by LogAKAlly <3'n Keef on Jul 11, 2008 21:40:26 GMT -5
REALLY?? While it is true that the percentage of women attending college has excelled tremendously...we are talking about women who are divorced...which of course taps into the population of women who have been married. (I'd like to take this across racial boundaries but to do so would be ignoring the historical differences between Whites and Blacks that prove to make this a more prevalent trend for Blacks than Whites.) The sad truth is that the largest population of unwed women are Black. Jan 16, 2007 51% of American women are now living without a spouse.
In addition, marriage rates among black women remain low. Only about 30 percent of black women are living with a spouse, according to the Census Bureau, compared with about 49 percent of Hispanic women, 55 percent of non-Hispanic white women and more than 60 percent of Asian women. www.nytimes.com/2007/01/16/us/16census.html?hp&ex=11And of that population the largest portion are college educated. This phenomenon was brought up in the movie "Something New" with Sanna Lathan. In case you didn't see it; (Sanna Lathan), is an African-American achiever of the first rank - formidably intelligent, fearsomely focused and terminally single. She and her woman friends commiserate with each other over what seems a fruitless search for their I.B.M. (Ideal Black Man) to marry. Why aren't college educated Black women marrying? There are several reason to be cited by Black college educated women such as: 1. A disproportion of men to women in the higher education system (at my university there was a 4:1 ratio). 2. High numbers of incarceration and unemployment for Black males. 3. Already financially secure and heavily involved in a career. 4. And yes...I'll catch flack for it...but the intimidation that highly educated & paid women bring into the marriage...it's true some men have a problem with it! (Men can say it's a complete myth...whatever). In other words...the majority of Black women that ARE marrying did NOT have a solid Plan A. And that is the population I was addressing. I doubt very seriously that the majority of the women who were married and divorced with a solid Plan A qualify for this discussion. I mean, it would be preaching to the choir right?  |
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Post by Kryptik on Jul 11, 2008 22:03:49 GMT -5
I can't remember who said it above, but I think that this issue remains an "issue" due to many of the subconscious decisions many women (and perhaps men) have made about marriage. I know a few professional women (lawyers, doctors, engineers, etc...) that have successfully joined the corporate or professional world. The only "problem" I see about their "Plan A's" is that they do not want to be a part of these worlds. They are quite open about their desire to get married and stop working, and many times this has nothing to do with a want to stay at home a raise a family. Some of these women have told me that they would prefer to take this time to explore their other personal "whims"- for lack of a better word. I think this is what hurts them when put into a position of needing a Plan B. "Men" are normally raised with, or grow to accept, the understanding that they must make their own place in the world and our "egos" will normally not allow for a feeling of being "kept". I would LOVE it if I were to marry a woman that made considerably more than me, but I could not see myself taking advantage of this to improve my golf game or doing community service, unless I was still making a valuable contribution to the household. I hope the above made some sense!  |
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Post by B Strugg on Jul 11, 2008 22:28:18 GMT -5
While I can agree with a mojority of what ur saying, a lot of time, black women have a difficult time staying in their place as a wife and as a woman (not in any way saying a womans only place is to stay barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen...but.... A man was built to run the house hold, and the higher educated a woman becomes (not all black women, but most) the more independent she feels from that man, and talks down to him more so....and lord don't let him be less educated then her.
It has a lot to do with a womans distrust in man stemming from slavery, many times our strong black men who were supposed to protect us were only able to sit back and watch their women be raped by these white slave owners, who just busted into their homes! Black woman have a huge lack of respect for black men. Many of you are prolly sitting there like 'NOT ME' but ask your S.O. how u speak to your men and deal with him on a day to day and I'm sure some of them feel disrespected and under appreciated.
So with wat Logakal said, it's just a black man and black woman issue all around the board....and the only way anything will change and get better is if we each recognize our relationship flaws and when ever u decide to marry, you and that person will know what is expected of one another and that will give any marriage a solid foundation. Plan A will bring a fully supportive woman and a fully supportive man together with one common goal, and everything should be uphill from their.
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Post by Champs Elysees on Jul 11, 2008 23:04:50 GMT -5
The differences in the perspectives from the men and women on this subject are interesting to say the least!
It is my personal philosophy that in relationships, many people (male and female) tend to think with their hearts, rather than with their heads and that's where things go wrong. I think it's prudent to always hope for the very best, but always be prepared for a rainy day, although the idea of keeping a stash from my huuuuuusband does make me feel sheisty! 
Wendy Williams always talks of women needing an "EFF-You Account" just in case they need to bounce or an emergency arises. It's a stash that you bury in your mattress so that when something pops off, you can just grab the money and split. 
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Post by Highly Favored on Jul 12, 2008 9:24:09 GMT -5
<~~~Version of Plan B would be placing yourself in the position to be independent to the best of your ability. In other words, an education and a career. If a career is not possible b/c you've both decided it's best for you to take care of the children or home...at the very least an education. /quote] I think that fundamentally we agree. What you call Plan B, I am calling part of my Plan A. We all know that a lot of what shapes our views is our own upbringing. Watching my mom struggle to raise me as a single parent with less than a high school education had a tremendous impact on my outlook concerning a woman's responsibility for ensuring that she is able to handle her business financially. My dad died when I was five. He was my mom's 3rd husband. The first drowned in a boating accident and she divorced the second. If she were looking for a husband to take care of her, that plan failed for her three times. I learned from her how important it is for a woman to be able to take care of herself and her child(ren) whether she ever needs to or not. I did not allow myself to become involved with men who did not support my aspirations to become educated and have a career. My husband has been my #1 supporter in my endeavors, as I have been in his. We have both sacrificed some things in favor of marriage and children, but he has always said that he wanted me to be able to do certain things because he may not always be here and I need to know. Neither of us are advocates of divorce, so I don't think that is what his comment meant. IMHO, we have a solid Plan A, one that addresses a future separation for whatever reason (divorce or death). Since, all of this is part of Plan A, no Plan B is necessary. Oh, and I have much more education than my husband and he values my input regarding many things, but he is STILL head of my house and I allow him to function as such. |
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Post by dappa on Jul 12, 2008 12:19:46 GMT -5
While I can agree with a mojority of what ur saying, a lot of time, black women have a difficult time staying in their place as a wife and as a woman (not in any way saying a womans only place is to stay barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen...but.... A man was built to run the house hold, and the higher educated a woman becomes (not all black women, but most) the more independent she feels from that man, and talks down to him more so....and lord don't let him be less educated then her. It has a lot to do with a womans distrust in man stemming from slavery, many times our strong black men who were supposed to protect us were only able to sit back and watch their women be raped by these white slave owners, who just busted into their homes! Black woman have a huge lack of respect for black men. Many of you are prolly sitting there like 'NOT ME' but ask your S.O. how u speak to your men and deal with him on a day to day and I'm sure some of them feel disrespected and under appreciated. So with wat Logakal said, it's just a black man and black woman issue all around the board....and the only way anything will change and get better is if we each recognize our relationship flaws and when ever u decide to marry, you and that person will know what is expected of one another and that will give any marriage a solid foundation. Plan A will bring a fully supportive woman and a fully supportive man together with one common goal, and everything should be uphill from their. Or stop accepting disrespect from man or from a woman. |
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Post by dappa on Jul 12, 2008 12:21:42 GMT -5
REALLY?? While it is true that the percentage of women attending college has excelled tremendously...we are talking about women who are divorced...which of course taps into the population of women who have been married. (I'd like to take this across racial boundaries but to do so would be ignoring the historical differences between Whites and Blacks that prove to make this a more prevalent trend for Blacks than Whites.) The sad truth is that the largest population of unwed women are Black. Jan 16, 2007 51% of American women are now living without a spouse.
In addition, marriage rates among black women remain low. Only about 30 percent of black women are living with a spouse, according to the Census Bureau, compared with about 49 percent of Hispanic women, 55 percent of non-Hispanic white women and more than 60 percent of Asian women. www.nytimes.com/2007/01/16/us/16census.html?hp&ex=11And of that population the largest portion are college educated. This phenomenon was brought up in the movie "Something New" with Sanna Lathan. In case you didn't see it; (Sanna Lathan), is an African-American achiever of the first rank - formidably intelligent, fearsomely focused and terminally single. She and her woman friends commiserate with each other over what seems a fruitless search for their I.B.M. (Ideal Black Man) to marry. Why aren't college educated Black women marrying? There are several reason to be cited by Black college educated women such as: 1. A disproportion of men to women in the higher education system (at my university there was a 4:1 ratio). 2. High numbers of incarceration and unemployment for Black males. 3. Already financially secure and heavily involved in a career. 4. And yes...I'll catch flack for it...but the intimidation that highly educated & paid women bring into the marriage...it's true some men have a problem with it! (Men can say it's a complete myth...whatever). In other words...the majority of Black women that ARE marrying did NOT have a solid Plan A. And that is the population I was addressing. I doubt very seriously that the majority of the women who were married and divorced with a solid Plan A qualify for this discussion. I mean, it would be preaching to the choir right? The number 4, for the life of me I never understood where that came from or even what it looks like. And IMO black educated women are not getting married but ave for one those are hardly the reasons. |
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Post by Cambist on Jul 12, 2008 12:42:14 GMT -5
Black , educated, professional women aren't getting married because they intimidate men.
Let's burry that myth right now. Ok, some brothers are intimidated by a woman that makes more than them, have more education than them (because they make more) or have a higher professional title or higher profile job but let's be real....
The reason these women aren't getting married is because they don't have time to get married. They don't have the time to have kids. And to many come into the situation believing that they need a man with equal or more education and or money than they have or have the potential to make. This all is born out of the
1. "You don't need no man for shyt" mentality that mothers teach their daughters.
2. "Never fully trust a man" mentality that is born out of #1.
3. "Always have Plan B" which is born of numbers 1 and 2.
It's a paradigm shif that, like all paradigm shifts, is very uncomfortable to move through.
One of the ladies said it on the old OO that, "With the money comes the power and no matter how much I try, I couldn't respect a man who makes less than me."
I remember that and also remember how women, although recluctantly, somewhat agreed.
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Post by dappa on Jul 12, 2008 12:47:58 GMT -5
And if that is how most women think , then most women do not deserve to be married. Money has NOTHING to do with respect, nothing what so ever.
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Post by dappa on Jul 12, 2008 12:48:22 GMT -5
Black , educated, professional women aren't getting married because they intimidate men. Let's burry that myth right now. Ok, some brothers are intimidated by a woman that makes more than them, have more education than them (because they make more) or have a higher professional title or higher profile job but let's be real.... The reason these women aren't getting married is because they don't have time to get married. They don't have the time to have kids. And to many come into the situation believing that they need a man with equal or more education and or money than they have or have the potential to make. This all is born out of the 1. "You don't need no man for shyt" mentality that mothers teach their daughters. 2. "Never fully trust a man" mentality that is born out of #1. 3. "Always have Plan B" which is born of numbers 1 and 2. It's a paradigm shif that, like all paradigm shifts, is very uncomfortable to move through. One of the ladies said it on the old OO that, "With the money comes the power and no matter how much I try, I couldn't respect a man who makes less than me." I remember that and also remember how women, although recluctantly, somewhat agreed. real talk |
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Post by Cambist on Jul 12, 2008 12:49:26 GMT -5
Also here's another perspective....
Since the number of women entering into the professional world is increasing even as the number of men is decreasing, what would you say about a man having a "Plan B?"
As I said in an earlier post, what would you say if you found out that your husband had $50,000 or $100,000 stashed away "JUST IN CASE" you decided to jump ship? Seriously, what would you think? It just comes out one day when things are good and life is great and everyone is happy then BAM! All of a sudden, you find out that he has that much money put away as insurance.
The way I figure it, it would be devestating! Expecially if everything is going well. It would start feelings of mistrust in the relationship and probably start a Cold War type Plan B funding war between the spouses because you KNOW she would IMMEDIATLY start putting money away.
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Post by LogAKAlly <3'n Keef on Jul 12, 2008 13:46:30 GMT -5
"Master becomes Slave and Slave becomes Master" ..."What goes around comes around" etc.
It's nearly inevitable.
I completley agree with the 3 reasons you sited Cam...in fact I was going to post them but I didn't want to bore you all with a long essay.
People often talk about the Good Ole days when couples stayed married...but in fact...those days weren't ALL that good. Women have stated that the remained married b/c they had no other choices.
I feel an unequal system is an unfair system. So with that said...both parties should be equally autonomous.
ONLY a person who wishes to dominate and control would wanted another to be inadequate and utterly dependent.
I feel it's better to want me than to purely need me, because when the need is met...ain't no need to see me...
(A quote from "Lately"---a poem by me)
For example...I have ALWAYS told my son he is never to completely depend on a woman to cook, clean, etc for him. He is to learn these things first. If he marries and they decide they want to continue in the more traditional societal gender roles...so be it. But in the event that something goes wrong, he can take care of his basic needs and hers if need be.
So I have no problem with a man also making sure he will not be left high and dry.
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Post by LogAKAlly <3'n Keef on Jul 12, 2008 13:55:15 GMT -5
Black , educated, professional women aren't getting married because they intimidate men. Let's burry that myth right now. Ok, some brothers are intimidated by a woman that makes more than them, have more education than them (because they make more) or have a higher professional title or higher profile job but let's be real.... Sowwy Cam...I don't have access to the data b/c I'm at home and don't have the software, but this question has been posed in a few surveys and it's true...men have admitted to not only 1. Being intimidated of a woman who makes more BUT ASLO 2. Women who are smarter AND Women have admitted to dumbing themselves down for men.  But yeah...you pretty much echoed my main point. The majority of women who are marrying...DID NOT have a solid Plan A. Thus...we're discussing Plan B....and the women it pertains to. |
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Post by Cambist on Jul 12, 2008 14:03:54 GMT -5
What I was saying is that the combination of women harboring resentment and suspicion for men coupled with them making money and fast tracking careers is why they aren't getting married.
Look at it this way, these women are looking for a mate that will complement them -as they should. The problem is that what complements them is not a second power broker who's making money and big career moves. What complements them is that school teacher who's making $34,000 a year and only works 9 months.
The problem is that she sees him as not bringing anything significant to the table. Not to mention, when (IF) they decide to have children, he will be the one staying at home with them. Which is fine EXCEPT that now she doesn't respect him anymore.
That, the research also shows.
So what she really needs, she can't deal with. Unlike the man who society expects to have the school teacher who can stay home longer to take care of the kids and do domestic duties.
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Post by T-Rex91 on Jul 12, 2008 14:13:02 GMT -5
I can't remember who said it above, but I think that this issue remains an "issue" due to many of the subconscious decisions many women (and perhaps men) have made about marriage. I know a few professional women (lawyers, doctors, engineers, etc...) that have successfully joined the corporate or professional world. The only "problem" I see about their "Plan A's" is that they do not want to be a part of these worlds. They are quite open about their desire to get married and stop working, and many times this has nothing to do with a want to stay at home a raise a family. Some of these women have told me that they would prefer to take this time to explore their other personal "whims"- for lack of a better word. I think this is what hurts them when put into a position of needing a Plan B. "Men" are normally raised with, or grow to accept, the understanding that they must make their own place in the world and our "egos" will normally not allow for a feeling of being "kept". I would LOVE it if I were to marry a woman that made considerably more than me, but I could not see myself taking advantage of this to improve my golf game or doing community service, unless I was still making a valuable contribution to the household. I hope the above made some sense! Kryp, had to reread this a couple of times....for a sec, i thought you wanted to be a "Kept" man ;D. Gotcha! |
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Post by LogAKAlly <3'n Keef on Jul 12, 2008 14:13:23 GMT -5
*Tips Hat* True Cam...VERY True...and as you stated, that problem arises from Societal expectations....coupled with years of resentment bridging over from years of men abusing their position of power. Unfortunately...as in Brown VS Board...laws change before society is ready. Women have obtained rights that men have not be raised to completely cope with, just as Blacks did. I know that lil girls are being raised to have education and careers...but not taught how to infuse them with the societal expectations of their gender roles. And lil boys are often still raised under the old norms, only to grow up and meet a young woman who defies his expectations. Their lies the cognitive dissonance...the conflict. Women are experiencing a lot of internal battles. The roles have become very obscured for us...and men too. We are seeing so many of the negative side effects of rapid change. And trust...us Socioligsts are watching! |
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Post by GorgeousNgreen on Jul 12, 2008 15:31:50 GMT -5
Ask God what HIS "plans" are for you in every aspect of YOUR life and you wont need a B, C, D, etc.
There is always uncertainty and failure when u try to plan things YOUR way instead of HIS way.
<--has learned the hard way.
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Post by LogAKAlly <3'n Keef on Jul 12, 2008 16:36:35 GMT -5
Hmmmm...thinking...choosing to excercise my free will...and not address. |
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Post by THE emPRISS on Jul 12, 2008 17:10:23 GMT -5
Ok...let me say it this way. Planning for disaster is not a Plan B. It's smart planning. The Waiting to Exhale reference is a real situation and it happens but I PROMISE you that it is happening less and less as more women are entering the work force as professionals. Now, here is my problem with Plan B. If you and your husband have separate accounts...that's fine. It's not necessarily Plan B but proper marriage planning. Let's just be real here....What many (if not most) women mean when they say Plan B is what they would do in the case of a Waiting to Exhale situation. But when women talk about a Plan B they are not talking about separate accounts in case of a garnishment, lawsuit, death, lien, etc....they are talking about a muthfucka walking out to live with Buffy. In this case, the women are "preparing" for this event by stashing or putting away cash (or in what's case, cars and houses LOL!) in secret. From a married man, this is foul. I guess I dont understand how that's foul if you acknowledge that it does happen. What if he walks out and leaves her for Buffy and leaves her with nothing, then what? Isnt that equally as foul? If you mean that she's doing it on the sly, then I can agree, that's not right. But if he knows that she had real estate, accounts, assets prior to him and that she is maintaining them...and there is full disclosure, I dont see what the issue is. I guess Im viewing it from a prior proper planning perspective and not necessarily from the Shani O'Neil perspsective. *shrug* On the other hand, Angela's character had a "feeling" about Buffy and at that point, yea, she shouldve started preparing. If a dude is cheating and his wife, she finds out and starts stashing in the face of the inevitable, oh well, that's a consequence of being a no good cheating azz slime ball...get over it.  The same applies to cheating women. |
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Post by LogAKAlly <3'n Keef on Jul 12, 2008 17:14:35 GMT -5
Ok...let me say it this way. Planning for disaster is not a Plan B. It's smart planning. The Waiting to Exhale reference is a real situation and it happens but I PROMISE you that it is happening less and less as more women are entering the work force as professionals. Now, here is my problem with Plan B. If you and your husband have separate accounts...that's fine. It's not necessarily Plan B but proper marriage planning. Let's just be real here....What many (if not most) women mean when they say Plan B is what they would do in the case of a Waiting to Exhale situation. But when women talk about a Plan B they are not talking about separate accounts in case of a garnishment, lawsuit, death, lien, etc....they are talking about a muthfucka walking out to live with Buffy. In this case, the women are "preparing" for this event by stashing or putting away cash (or in what's case, cars and houses LOL!) in secret. From a married man, this is foul. I guess I dont understand how that's foul if you acknowledge that it does happen. What if he walks out and leaves her for Buffy and leaves her with nothing, then what? Isnt that equally as foul? If you mean that she's doing it on the sly, then I can agree, that's not right. But if he knows that she had real estate, accounts, assets prior to him and that she is maintaining them...and there is full disclosure, I dont see what the issue is. I guess Im viewing it from a prior proper planning perspective and not necessarily from the Shani O'Neil perspsective. *shrug* On the other hand, Angela's character had a "feeling" about Buffy and at that point, yea, she shouldve started preparing. If a dude is cheating and his wife, she finds out and starts stashing in the face of the inevitable, oh well, that's a consequence of being a no good cheating azz slime ball...get over it. The same applies to cheating women. <~~Thinking...did Priss just read right pass what I wrote?  |
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The same applies to cheating women.