Leja's Random Musings

[LejaOMG]

Graduation Countdown: 46 days, 13 hours and 15 minutes (and if I had a watch, Big Brotha...42, 43, 44 seconds!) ok, ok, my bad. I love me some Giancarlo Esposito. Anyway; as it turns out I have:

13 days until my last trial
27 school days until the last day of classes
41 days until I pick up my regalia (mortarboard; not tam...because we have an LLM program)
44 days until my last exam

(and just so you know, the first person to come in here and mention the bar exam is getting shot on sight; *muttering* don't nobody wanna give me my moment!)

[ReignMan19]

Congrats!!!

(and glad I read the entire post because I was def about to bring up the b-word)

[LejaOMG]

lol. Thanks, papi! Clear your schedule for Juneteenth, we havin a 2-day graduation extravaganza like you've never seen!

[ReignMan19]

Mar 24, 2010 10:38:42 GMT -5 LejaOMG said:

lol. Thanks, papi! Clear your schedule for Juneteenth, we havin a 2-day graduation extravaganza like you've never seen!

I'm there!

[Chal™]

Congratulations, Leja. I'm rooting for ya.

PS: Reign, you can stop sweating now. You've got your invite. lol

[ReignMan19]

Mar 24, 2010 14:17:44 GMT -5 Chal™ said:

Congratulations, Leja. I'm rooting for ya.

PS: Reign, you can stop sweating now. You've got your invite. lol

LOL.... whew

[LejaOMG]

Sisters in the workplace
I've noticed certain archetypes appear and re-appear in this lovely machine known as the public sector corporation. Though there are precious few of us here, everyone has their own role to play. I've interacted with them in various ways and I thought I'd share my findings here:

The Mother Hen is a manager or executive who wants very badly to take you under her wing because her retirement is nearing and she wants to feel that she left some sort of legacy, a footprint, on the agency. In a sense, she's training you to be her replacement. She doesn't take into account your actual career goals, but assumes that you admire her path and cannot fathom that you should do anything other than mirror her every step. Often her advice is helpful, yet it is also sometimes wholly unrelated to any of your interests. You listen politely and think to yourself, "I'll be so glad when she stops talking and lets me get back to work." Also note, that she relishes your admiration in part because she is generally not well liked (due to the fact that she is only nice to those who are in a position to "get like her.")

The Mother Goose entered the workforce at a time when sisters did not achieve the level of success to which you aspire. Somewhat an Aunty Ruckus character, her advice to you is usually "keep your head down, don't make waves and in 30 years, you can retire." It is nearly impossible for this sister to reconcile the fact that you are less than half her age, but have 3x more education and that your promotion and earning potential far exceeded hers before you even walked in the door. For this reason, she treats you like a subordinate though she is actually not a manager and takes a particular perverse pleasure anytime you come up short. She can be overheard referring to you as a "young know-it-all." That is, until she needs help with her computer.

Vogue on the Outside, Vague on the Inside
This sister is less Joan Clayton, more Maya Wilkes. She wears high fashion clothes and shoes every single day. Nails done, hair done, everything did. But she's nowhere near fancy. She's a secretary or a tech assistant or some such, but in her email signature, there's a long unwieldy (and completely BS) title that she invented thus: "lead deputy assistant undersecretary coordinator of all things internal." She's older than she looks and her age surprises you because it is totally unmatched to her maturity level. No one takes her seriously and she doesn't even notice. This character frequently doubles as the office gossip.

Yankee Doodle Dandy
So named because she is in this position, only to "stick a feather in her cap." She's maybe an intern or a grad student who dedicates herself to her work only to the extent that it will fluff up her resume. She is extremely energetic and full of ideas for all the high-profile projects but is lackluster when it's time for the everyday grunt work. Networker extraordinaire. She's all too happy to attend conferences, help with client meetings and sign her name to briefs and memos-- but she will not, under any circumstances, touch a copy machine or a coffee maker. Pay attention to how things change in the event that she ends up staying longer than she expected.

[DamieQue™]

Aug 17, 2010 12:24:56 GMT -5 LejaOMG said:

Sisters in the workplace
I've noticed certain archetypes appear and re-appear in this lovely machine known as the public sector corporation. Though there are precious few of us here, everyone has their own role to play. I've interacted with them in various ways and I thought I'd share my findings here:

The Mother Hen is a manager or executive who wants very badly to take you under her wing because her retirement is nearing and she wants to feel that she left some sort of legacy, a footprint, on the agency. In a sense, she's training you to be her replacement. She doesn't take into account your actual career goals, but assumes that you admire her path and cannot fathom that you should do anything other than mirror her every step. Often her advice is helpful, yet it is also sometimes wholly unrelated to any of your interests. You listen politely and think to yourself, "I'll be so glad when she stops talking and lets me get back to work." Also note, that she relishes your admiration in part because she is generally not well liked (due to the fact that she is only nice to those who are in a position to "get like her.")

The Mother Goose entered the workforce at a time when sisters did not achieve the level of success to which you aspire. Somewhat an Aunty Ruckus character, her advice to you is usually "keep your head down, don't make waves and in 30 years, you can retire." It is nearly impossible for this sister to reconcile the fact that you are less than half her age, but have 3x more education and that your promotion and earning potential far exceeded hers before you even walked in the door. For this reason, she treats you like a subordinate though she is actually not a manager and takes a particular perverse pleasure anytime you come up short. She can be overheard referring to you as a "young know-it-all." That is, until she needs help with her computer.

Vogue on the Outside, Vague on the Inside
This sister is less Joan Clayton, more Maya Wilkes. She wears high fashion clothes and shoes every single day. Nails done, hair done, everything did. But she's nowhere near fancy. She's a secretary or a tech assistant or some such, but in her email signature, there's a long unwieldy (and completely BS) title that she invented thus: "lead deputy assistant undersecretary coordinator of all things internal." She's older than she looks and her age surprises you because it is totally unmatched to her maturity level. No one takes her seriously and she doesn't even notice. This character frequently doubles as the office gossip.

Yankee Doodle Dandy
So named because she is in this position, only to "stick a feather in her cap." She's maybe an intern or a grad student who dedicates herself to her work only to the extent that it will fluff up her resume. She is extremely energetic and full of ideas for all the high-profile projects but is lackluster when it's time for the everyday grunt work. Networker extraordinaire. She's all too happy to attend conferences, help with client meetings and sign her name to briefs and memos-- but she will not, under any circumstances, touch a copy machine or a coffee maker. Pay attention to how things change in the event that she ends up staying longer than she expected.

Well someone is certainly getting to know the corporate ropes in a hurry. By the way you should do all the office characters and then turn it into a blog entry because Yankee Doodle Dandy damn near had me falling out of my seat laughing. EXALT.

[LejaOMG]

re: blog entry, that's the plan. I want to write up the brothers too. Then, maybe the 25-20s. I test these things out on you guys first.

[DamieQue™]

Aug 17, 2010 13:18:51 GMT -5 LejaOMG said:

re: blog entry, that's the plan. I want to write up the brothers too. Then, maybe the 25-20s. I test these things out on you guys first.

And our compensation?

[QueenOH]

What about the woman the is too lazy. She can't even leave her office to see if a file she needs is right out side on the file cabinet. She doesn't have an assistant but believes that her co-workers and equals should drop what ever they are doing to be her assistant

[LejaOMG]

Brothers in the workplace

Disco Stu lives in a time warp. He's around 40, but has his office dec'd out in fraternity paraphernalia and wears a Chi Phi Chi tie pin everyday. He pledged grad (be sure of it). Every comment he makes in staff meetings begins with "back @ [insert name of locally--but not nationally--prestigious college], I learned..." or "because I'm friends with [insert name of baby mama of assistant chief of staff for random local politician], I was able to find out that..." He parks at the farthest point on the premises because his 93 Toyota Tercel would belie the image he worked so hard to invent within the office. He refers to all his outside friends in gender neutral terms and compliments you on your fashion choices, which makes you suspect that he may be gay.

TOP GUN this guy is a natural born leader. Most likely a military man and runs his team like a tight ship. He has barely bothered to learn the names of his subordinates, never answers his own phone and has slight germophobe tendencies. No one in the office can recall having had a full conversation with him, he wears a 3-piece suit on casual Friday and it's well regarded rumor that he's gunning for the top spot some day soon. If you need anything at all from him, instead of swinging by his desk, send him an appointment on outlook or fax him a meeting request. He appreciates when other people take seriously his excessive efficiency.

The Eeyore brother has been through a lot. A whole lot. He is expert in finding the despair in every situation. "The man" is the source of most of his problems due to the fact that the man has committed such nefarious deeds against him as 'trying to hold a brother down' and 'failing to recognize a brother's talent.' Despite all this, he's always trying to 'grab a drink after work' with you. Should you ever oblige, be assured that he will talk for hours about why he hates his job and why he feels he can't leave.

Emmit (whether Smith or Till) is just a liiittle too friendly with the white ladies in the office. He addresses all women in the office as "honey" or "sweetie" and even though he seems nice enough, you could totally imagine him catching a sexual harassment case some time soon. He's a hugger instead of a hand-shaker and almost never seems to be doing work. Whenever you see him, he's nursing a cup of tea in the breakroom or chatting in the doorway of someone else's office. Despite all this, he gets promoted fairly frequently.

[LejaOMG]

Aug 17, 2010 13:27:53 GMT -5 QueenOH said:

What about the woman the is too lazy. She can't even leave her office to see if a file she needs is right out side on the file cabinet. She doesn't have an assistant but believes that her co-workers and equals should drop what ever they are doing to be her assistant

good one! That person in my office is a dude.

[Cambist]

<<==Emmit

[LogAKAlly <3'n Keef]

EXALT!!!!! For the Sisters/Brothers work place - but damn "Emmit" was kinda harsh.

[Southie]

Vogue on the Outside, Vague on the Inside
This sister is less Joan Clayton, more Maya Wilkes. She wears high fashion clothes and shoes every single day. Nails done, hair done, everything did. But she's nowhere near fancy. She's a secretary or a tech assistant or some such, but in her email signature, there's a long unwieldy (and completely BS) title that she invented thus: "lead deputy assistant undersecretary coordinator of all things internal." She's older than she looks and her age surprises you because it is totally unmatched to her maturity level. No one takes her seriously and she doesn't even notice. This character frequently doubles as the office gossip.



Hilarious!!!

Signed
Lead deputy assistant o the Undersecretary

[Bigs]

<==== Emmitt

[Gee-Are]

<<<<Mixture of Emmit and Top Gun without the 3-piece on Friday.


Maybe Disco Stu parks that far away because he wants to keep that Tercel in pristine condition for when it becomes a collector's item....

Just a thought

[DamieQue™]

We need some more categories Leja... right now I'd be some sort of hybrid gene splice of Emmit and Top Gun with a little bit of Disco (because of the car - LOL)

What else you got?

[QueenOH]

So the men of OOA are too friendly with the women in the office

[nsync]

So looking forward to the "25-20's" post. Do you have a direct link to your blog?

[LejaOMG]

Aug 19, 2010 7:30:09 GMT -5 @nsync said:

Do you have a direct link to your blog?

yep! www.facebook.com ;D

[Chal™]

lol!!!

[LejaOMG]

Gender-Neutral Archetypes
The following can occur in either males or females:

Vienna Fingers—you know how Oreos are white on the inside? Well this guy is white on the outside too. Maybe a teabagger or just a regular republican, he can frequently be heard chasing his racist/sexist jokes with “ah, lighten up!” He’s high enough on the food chain where he can afford to be politically incorrect, but low enough that it’s safe to imagine that he will eventually catch an elbow in the mailroom. Certain brothers and sisters pretend not to be offended by his rhetoric so as to remain in his good graces, but he repays them by making them the butt of his rudeness.

Jesus Freak answers his office phone like “Praise the lord!” and has a dreadlocked poster of Jesus hung outside his cubicle. He organizes the annual Christ-mas (he forces everyone to pronounce it this way and reports anyone who abbreviates it as “x-mas” to HR). Unfortunately, though, he’s a chain smoking, alcoholic and sometimes has very loud whisper fights on the phone with his wife which can be heard throughout the department

Akbar Williams- for some reason, this brother cannot overcome the corporate stigma about Black Men. It may not help that his first name is Nafyis or Jahideen, but whatever. Accommodating to a fault, he plays in the inter-office fast pitch softball league and raises his voice a half-octave while at work, but the others are too afraid of him to actually like him

Cicely Tyson has chosen, for no apparent reason, to play the slave role for the rest of her career. She self-assigns all the grunt work, takes the 1:30 lunch break and works the maximum overtime possible. This character walks very fast, always looks stressed out and she answers the perfunctory “How are you?” with a long, loud, sigh. She doesn’t have a family or outside interests, save maybe for a cat, so believe-it-or-not, making her life about work is the only thing that keeps her head out of the oven.

Bobby Jindal reminds you of Yankee Doodle Dandy (when, in actuality, they would hate each other) except he’s white, male and has a little authority in the organization. G.W.B. status as far as intellect, and is usually described as a “sharp dresser” or “no-nonsense” kinda guy. Why? Because no one has actually ever seen his work product. Whenever he is forced to make a decision, it is inherently ill-advised, but because the masses find a way to blame the failure on some outside force they praise Bobby J as an out-of-the-box risk taker. He acts out occasionally because he lives in constant fear that someone will eventually discover that he is a fraud.

[LejaOMG]

The Foreigners NEVER speak English to each other in the office. Even after giving a presentation in a staff meeting, when one of them asks “any questions?” the other raises his hand and rapid-fires questions (at least you hope they’re questions…they could very well be saying ‘what kinda bomb you think we should use to blow this b*#$% up tomorrow?’) in their mutual native tongue. They demand bi-lingual handouts and PP presentations; though we all know they speak English just fine. They threaten to file an EEO case if anyone complains about their self-indulgence.

The “Actor” is so named because she is temporarily filling some supervisory duty (just a duty, not the entire role). As this is her first time even being associated with management, she takes this opportunity to pull rank about any and everything—within her extremely limited power. She might demand that as acting supervisor, her mail be delivered first or that employees fill out a request form (which she created) before going for smoke breaks. When the agency fills the position permanently, for which job it did not even consider her, she has to return to the rank-and- file. She will eventually transform into The “Hater.”

[DamieQue™]

LOL - Leja is killing it

[nsync]

I clicked on the link. Got nothing. Remembering to check back here for updates will have to do.

Aug 19, 2010 9:15:30 GMT -5 LejaOMG said:

Aug 19, 2010 7:30:09 GMT -5 @nsync said:

Do you have a direct link to your blog?

yep! www.facebook.com ;D

[LejaOMG]

Oh, I was just messin. I don't have enough interesting things to say to have my own blog, so whenever a composition strikes me, I just make into a FB note. This one isn't done (I'm still developing characters) so it hasn't been posted yet.

*pssst, you can't read my FB notes anyway, 'member?*

[nsync]

Are there any positive ones? Lol Do good people work?


*Please say that they don't so I never have to check into a work environment again *

[LejaOMG]

Not really. The slant of this piece is supposed to sound slightly bitter and is supposed to expose people to their own unsavory character traits. If I make a "super-adjusted, hard worker with a pristine work ethic and a superb moral character," everyone's psyche would just make them self identify with that one. I actually profiled myself more than once above. Can you pick me out?