Damie's Class Action Suit

[DamieQue™]

Damie arrives at the courthourse. He ain't playing around with y'all no more. He is fresh to def



and arrives with an Army of Lawyers paid for by a slush account set up using a back door into Juicy's bank account



Damie comes in and takes his seat, his lawyers take up the next 5 rows

Bailiff: All rise
*Damie and his army rise to their feet*
Bailiff: The honorable Judge Will Lukoutfah DaBruhzwell presiding
Judge Bruhzwell: Roo to the Ques
Damie: Roo to the Ques
*Damie throws up the hooks - lawyers try to supress him*
Damie: You can't control the Bruhz
Judge Bruhzwell: Order in the court *Bangs gavel* You will unhand Damie at once
*Lawyers comply and sit down, Damie sits down as well*

Judge Bruhzwell: The court is now considering Court docket case 11171911 Damie vs. The People
*Judge Bruhzwell scratches his head*
Judge Bruhzwell: Am I reading this right Mr. Que - you are suing the entire website of OOA?
Damie: I am your honor
Judge Bruhzwell: But you're calling it a class action suit - class action suits don't work that way - a class action suit is where lot's of people get involved in litigation with one party
Damie: Yeah that's basically what's happening here excpet I reversed the polarity. Now it's one party getting his Sue on with lot's of different people. I just McCain'ed it - that's all.
Judge Bruhzwell Scratches head again: There's really no precedent for it, but I'll allow it
Damie: Roo
Judge Bruhzwell: Roo
Damie: So your honor here's what I am seeking in summary judgement

1. Half of Juicy's assets including houses, cars, and liquid assets since I worked and stayed at home and allowed her to pursue her career
2. Full e-custody of DaHardway and subsequent e-child support to the tune of half her gross salary
3. Full e-custody of PikaQue and subsequent e-child support to the tune of half of Logakals gross salary + tips that she gets at the e-shake club
4. I'd like to file an injunction against Eager's e-womb - basically your honor I'd like to make sure that no one else gets to use it since she was clearly not taking care of my lil DrumQue - and she would undoubtedly abuse any other winglette that she was e-pregnant with - I think this is an appropriate step. I'd also like to sue for damages in the form of her collection of the boots with the fur
5. A 51% stake in "In Da Cut" Barbershop because I stayed at home with the child which allowed Logakal to successfully start her business
7. I would like to sue to have Reign, Cold, Frozen, and Queen, 91, and 98 to be sentenced to 90 days in jail... together in the same cell with nothing but e-burlap loin clothes and one vintage San Quentin toothbrush shank with which they shall OutSmart, Outwit, and Outlast the other prisoners and eat from a half eaten bucket of Col. Sanders finest.

Judge Bruhzwell: Only half a bucket?
Damie: I got hungry on the way over here
Judge Bruhzwell: Roo
Damie: Roo
Judge Bruhzwell: Is opposing counsel ready to argue their case?

[DSTspr98]

Well damn!!!


What happened to Coleman Luv nicca??


This ain't right!!!

[LogAKAlly <3'n Keef]

YOU HAVE COMPLETELY LOST YOU EVER LOVIN PURPLE ASS MIND!!!!!!!!!

:::::DEAD::::::

I have to gather myself before I can even reply!!!!!

LMAOOOOOOOO

[QueenOH]

Your Honor If It pleases the court I'd like to submit information pertaining to the fatherhood of one Mr. Damien Bartholomew Que.

It is a fact your honor that all of the children in question where not fathered, by Mr. Damie Que, but in fact where fathered by his evil twin Mr. Dexter Que while Damie was away.

Also Your Honor I have no reason to be called into this alleged class action suit because I have no e-legal or e-financial business that connects to Mr. Que in any way

[LogAKAlly <3'n Keef]

*Logakal gets a phone call from her lawyer, Sue A. Mofo about the lawsuit*

Logakal: Sue ME FA what??!?!

Sue: Yes, suing you and a few others. From you he wants...and I quote:

Full e-custody of PikaQue and subsequent e-child support to the tune of half of Logakals gross salary + tips that she gets at the e-shake club.

AND

A 51% stake in "In Da Cut" Barbershop because I stayed at home with the child which allowed Logakal to successfully start her business.

Logakal: OH NO!! OH HELL NO!! I can not e-believe THIS?!
AND e-Shake CLUB?? I don't work there!! WTH has the dope man sold him??
We'll see about this!!

Sue A Mofo: I've already been working on your defense. Don't worry.
We're prepared to deal with this...this...e-man-whore!!!

I'm ready to hit him with every e-thing AND the kitchen sink!!! Can you meet me at the courthouse??

Logakal: OF COURSE...I was on my way to Colds...I'll have to call him and let him know what's going on. I'll be there ASAP.

*calls Cold*

Logakal: Hey e-boo...I know you were tied up with letting Crim down... as a matter of fact, I was on my way up to your apartment to bring you lunch when my Attorney called to tell me Damie is trying to e-sue me for custody of PikaQue and 51% of da Barbershop!!! He's also trying to have you put in jail for 90 days!

Cold: WTH?!?!?

Logakal: I know...it's CRAZY!! I have to get to the Courthouse ASAP... my Attorney is probably there waiting for me.

*ends call*

[Sue A Mofo]

<~~arrives at the courthouse

*Calls 91 & 98 to inform them that they've also been named in the lawsuit*

*Walks into the courtroom - looking rather PRETTY*

Judge Bruhzwell: Is opposing counsel ready to argue their case?

Sue: Yes your honor. My name is Sue A Mofo Esq - Attorney at Law and I am representing Ms. Logakal.

*Judge looks Sue up and down... ;D*

Judge Bruhzwell: Where is your client?

Sue: She was JUST informed of the hearing and will be arriving momentarily. I have full Power of Attorney, and as Executor of her Estate I and am prepared to speak on her behalf.

*Sue hands Baliff the Power of Attorney, Judge Bruhzwell reviews them and sees everything is in order*

Judge: Very well then. Does your client wish to contest?

Sue: YES your honor, she does!

*Sue turns to Damie and glares at him with despise *

Damie: *looks back at Sue* I know what dat look mean...dat mean you wanna do something to me...
BUST A MOVE...BUST A MOFO MOVE!!!

*Judge Bruhzwell hammers the gavel to restore order*

Sue: First of all your honor...Mr. DamieQue is COMPLETELY UNFIT to be a father...he has relatively

NO INCOME
NO PLACE OF RESIDENCY
NO EXPERIENCE

Yet he thinks he can raise an infant and
a crack special needs newborn WITHOUT BLINKING?!?

Is he just GOING TO PALIN THIS shit!?!?



Damie: NO EXPERIENCE?? I CAN SEE DA DAYCARE FROM MY HOTEL ROOM JUDGE!! That's gotta count fa sumthing!!!

*Judge Bruhzwell bangs the gavel*

Judge: MS. MOFO...one more outburst like that and I will find you in CONTEMPT of this COURT!! Do I make myself clear??

Sue: I beg the courts forgiveness and I meant no disrespect. I allowed my DEEP passion for this case to overtake me. It won't happen again.

*Sue calms herself and continues*

Sue: Also, Mr.DamieQue and my client were NEVER married...he has NO Grounds to claim ANY portion of my clients business. He has never invested one single penny into "iN Da CuT" Barbershop - his claim of due entitlement on the basis of caring for HIS OWN CHILD...is ABSURD and makes a mockery of this court! In fact this whole PROCEEDING is ajoke!!!

Judge: I'll BE THE JUDGE OF THAT. If you have nothing further, please take a seat and the court will hear all other opposing counesl.

Sue: Nothing further your honor.

*Sue takes a seat and Logakal enters the court room and sits next to her*

Logakal: *whispers* What's going on?

Sue: Basically, I told the judge Damie's is out his damn mind and you're not paying him a dime. Now we're waiting for everyone else.

*Logakal sits back and sees Damie sitting there with a smug look on his face.*

Logakal: I wish I could go over there and knock him upside his damn head! What is his fool ass thinking?!? Ig uess this is part 1 of Juicy runnin his ass crazy....cause this shit is INSANE!!!

[Julie Art]

*p*

This negro, buahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

*p*

*I enter with my team of attorneys *


Attorney 1: Your honor, the defendant signed an e-prenup before the marriage that basically states he recieves nothing if they divorce, and their is a clause in the e-prenup where the defendant actually owes my client money if he e-cheats. Also, your honor, my client is counter e-suing a Mr. DamieQue for the $900,000 she e-lost when she flew back to the e-states during the middle of a movie shoot.

Attorney 2: Ms. Juicy is also counter-suing the right for full e-custody against Mr. DamieQue seeing how he isn't e-employed and is staying at a flea bag motel.

Attorney 3: Ms. Juicy is also suing Mr. DamieQue for e-stealing money from her to employ his e-legal team. Mr. DamieQue was only on one e-bank account and once paperwork was filed for the e-divorce, his name was taking off the e-bank account. He with a connection at the bank who is being e-sued as well, was able to e-legally take money out of one of her e-bank accounts.


*judge looks over all documents, acknowledges that everything is in order, and waits for the others to make their claims*

[~DSTracted by shOES~]

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[The Elect Lady]

*After finishing her time in rehab, Eager gets wind that something is amidst with her drumbstick licking, sperm donor DamieQue. Eager shows up in court, just after Sue A Mofo sits down*


Eager: Excuse me your honor, May I approach?

Judge: And you are?

Eager: Sir, I'm Eager Grad, Esq. I believe the plaintiff has attempted to bring proceedings against me and other member of the OOA community, and I move that all "charges" be dropped on the grounds that plaintiff is criminally insane and unfit to stand trial, not to mention be taken seriously in the first place.

Judge: Roo?

Eager: Basically. We all know that DamieQue was recently released from the hospital after an "attempt" was made on his life, but I have the psychiatric evaluation from he stay in the hospital and it describes how he single handedly carried out the attack against himself in a desperate attempt to gain attention and secure funds from his estranged wife.

Damie: THAT’S A LIE!!!

Judge: Order!

Eager: I also have recorded evidence to show how he masterminded a plot against LogAKAL in attempts to destroy her self image, steal her virginity and slander her good name within the community.

Damie: THAT HO?!?

Judge: *Rapping gavel* ORDER!!!

Eager: And finally, Your honor, I would like to present to you evidence about how Damie had sexual relations with a minor, a child prodigy, so to speak, impregnated her, sending her into a downward cataclysmic spiral which included alcohol and drug abuse, and then attempted to bring false actions against her. Your Honor, Damie tired to destroy my life, and now he is attempting to bring actions against me? He doesn’t even know our son’s name.

*to Damie* His name is QueStick, you bastard!

Judge: ORDER IN MY COURT!!!

Damie, what do you have to day about this?

Damie: Roo!!!

[Julie Art]

::DEAD:: @ Eager!


Attorney 1: My client is fine with all charges being e-dismissed, and she will not e-counter sue for any money, not even the money he took illegally. But we do ask, that if the charges are e-dismissed, that the e-divorce between Ms. Juicy and DamieQue be e-final today.

[T-Rex91]

*Gets text and rushes to courthouse*

*Busts into court...*

91: I demand to know why i've been named in...................Big Daddy, um Will, is that you?

*Judge blushes*

Judge: 91? Girl, it CAN'T be!!!

91: May I approach the bench?

*Damie glares furiously*

Judge: (Smiles slyly) Of course you may, as a matter of fact, we may need to take a brief recess so I can see you in chambers

*91 saunters up to the bench and "accidently plants a stiletto square on Damie's right foot as she passes*

*91 forces a tear to fall so gently down her cheek*

91: Will, I'm sorry, Your honor, I got a text saying I was being sued and I have NO IDEA why. As a matter of fact, he's trying to harass your girl 98 too!

Judge: Not 98! From over on Washington? That's my girl!

91: It's just so traumatic to be falsely accused

*Judge glares at Damie*

Judge: We will take a 10 minute (looks at 91's perfectly fitted skirt), no half hour recess while I consider the merits of this case......

*Judge and 91 disappear into chambers*

[DSTspr98]

Hexadecimal :: DEAD ::


Ok and MORE DEAD!


Siamese!


*luv me some her*

[~DSTracted by shOES~]

::DEAD::

[T-Rex91]

*91 and the Judge exit chambers and hour later*

Damie: I know I did NOT just see him pat her a$$!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Judge raps gavel to call court back to order*

*Damie jumps up in rage*

Damie: Aw HAYLE naw bruh! This ain't right!

Judge: I WILL HAVE ORDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Judge (to Damie): On what grounds have you brought charges against the Killa D's? And this BETTER BE GOOD.

*91 saunters past Damie smiling*

Damie: I DEMAND YOU RECUSE YOURSELF!!!!

Judge: You want another judge to preside? May not turn out well for you, Mr. Que but it's your call........

[~DSTracted by shOES~]

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[The Elect Lady]

*pause*

Dis trick is going down on SOOOO many levels! That'll teach you to try and sue WOMEN scorned!!!!!

*play*

[ReignMan19]

Sept 22, 2008 20:10:09 GMT -5 DamieQue™ said:

Damie arrives at the courthourse. He ain't playing around with y'all no more. He is fresh to def

[

* Reign Calls lawyers to discuss countersuit for Trademark infignment *

PAY WHAT YOU OWE!!!!!!!!

[LogAKAlly <3'n Keef]

*p*
damn I LOVE MY 91!!!!!<~~~Get it, get it, get it girl!!! *Jumpin up hollering*

EAGER <~~STANDING O

JUICY<~~Cheating with all dem Lawyers!! LMAOOO (Lemme borrow one just in case)


REIGN...U STOOOPID!!!!!!!
*p*

[Julie Art]

I ain't e-cheating with none of them, lol!

[The Elect Lady]

*pause*

*Waving* Thank you, thank you, you're far too kind!

*play*

[The Elect Lady]

And another thing...


Boots with the fur, BOOTS WITH THE FUR!!!!!

[T-Rex91]

*pause*

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and how da hayle Damie gonna sue the northern hemisphere and disappear??

We all have IRL jobs...COME BACK AND PLAY WITH US!!!!!!!

*play*

[DamieQue™]

Damie: Your honor may I approach the bench
Judge Bruhzwell: Roo
Damie: Your honor it is clear to me that this is a conspiracy to bring me down - look at how they have all assembled against me
Judge Bruhzwell: Well - you did name them in a reverse polarity class action suit
Damie: Yeah but when did I e-announce it? How did they know court proceedings were today? Clearly they have infiltrated your e-office and compromised security. They weren't even supposed to show up today.
Judge Bruhzwell: But they had a right to...
Damie: And now look at them - got Reign filing an injunction on trademark infringemenet, Eager still got full custody of her e-womb trying to rename my child (it's DrumQue niccuh DrumQue)
Judge Bruhzwell: His momma named him QueStick, I'ma call 'em QueStick
Damie: Got 91 or 98 (whichever one it was) taking dictation - emphasis on d -
Judge Bruhzwell: Watch ya' mouth now - Respect My Judgeship - Respect it
Damie: Aight fine - but look you got Susan Ann Mofo up in here making up more ish than the McCain campaign insulting the court - I mean judge what kind of Kangaroo Court is this?
Judge Bruhzwell: hold on Team - I told you watch yo mouth - you don't talk about my courtroom like that
Damie: Niccuh I talk about whatever I want - I'M DA BRUHZ
Judge Bruhzwell: *Bangs Gavel* Niccuh - I'M DA BRUHZ
Damie *Snatches Gavel and bangs*: I'M DA BRUHZ and I rule in favor of myself
Judge Bruhzwell comes from behind Bench Bailiff attempts to stop him
Judge Bruhzwell: Niccuh step outside
Damie: Naw we can do it right here - let him go bailiff
*Sheriff Deputies flood the room*
Judge Bruhzwell finally fights through bailiff and gets ahold of Damie they start e-wrecking in court

Damie flips the judge over desk
Judge gets back up and flips Damie over the witness stand
Papers and court dockets fly everywhere - it is absolute chaos as people run into each other running for the exits and also begin fighting




Deputies, panicked by the pandemonium, begin shooting randomly into the crowd, first tear gas, than rubber bullets, then the shields and billy clubs come out



Through the haze the silhouettes of Damie and Judge Bruhzwell can be seen slamming each other through tables and furniture and alternately screaming at the other "what niccuh I'M DA BRUHZ!!!"



*Screams ring out from the court room as on-lookers are pelted with tear gas cannisters, rubber bullets, and random punches they throw at others while confused in the chatoic haze.
Someone is overheard screaming "MORTAL KOMBAT!!!"*



Which OOA'ers will make it out of court alive... and which OOA'ers will they have to e-kill to survive? YOU be the judge.

*Club music starts*
Din Din Din Din Din-Din
Din Din Din Din Din-Din
Din Din Din Din Din-Din
Din-Din-Din Da-Din

[The Elect Lady]

::Dead:: (but hopefully not e-literally!)

[LogAKAlly <3'n Keef]

*calls Cold when the fight first breaks out*

Logakal: The shit then hit the fan!!!!

*Cold hears all the ruckus in the background*

Logakal: Ummm...I need to to brang me that "THANG THANG"

Cold: damn...I mean, I'm all for a lil Freaky Deaky...and it's been a fantasy of mine to be watched , but you sure this is a good time?!?!

Logakal: NOT THAT "Thang Thang"!! A DUMP PIECE!!!

Cold: My bad!! Hold on e-boo!! ;D

*ends calls*

*Logakal jumps up and throw a chair like Riley recommended in the Boondocks...then ducks under the desk and trips people*

[DSTspr98]

*Wonders if I'm supposed to sacrifice muh-selfl 4 Juicy as her e-agent?? HELL 2 DA NAH*


*Grabs 91 and tries to make a run for the door... NO LUCK!*


Da hell is we gon' do now!?!?


*Sees a chair flying towards Juicy and yells DDDDDUUUUUUUCKKKK!!!*

[The Elect Lady]

*watches LL trip Random audience member*
*sees 98 try and snatch 91 to no avail*

*flinches when Juicy gets hit in the head with a chair*

I got ta get the hell outta here!!!

*begins low crawling towards exit, but is knocked over by LL*

DON'T MESS UP MY HAIR!!!! I JUST GOT IT DONE!!!!

[LogAKAlly <3'n Keef]

Sept 23, 2008 15:50:04 GMT -5 DSTspr98 said:

*Wonders if I'm supposed to sacrifice muh-sefl 4 Juicy as her e-agent?? HELL 2 DA NAH*


*Grabs 91 and tries to make a run for the door... NO LUCK!*


Da hell is we gon' do now!?!?


*Sees a chair flying towards Juicy and yells DDDDDUUUUUUUCKKKK!!!*

*Sees 91 & 98 cornered...JUMPS UP and WHISTLES - Flings Arms and signals for them to duck under the desk*

Logakal: damn...dis is some shit!! Yall got any weapons??

91: Now USUALLY I'm strapped but the CourtHouse security was tight ass hell!!

98: I'm saying, I got frisked twice!!

Logakal: 98...nobody got frisked.

98: Son ov a B1tch!!!

Logakal: OK...whatchu got on you?!? Check ya pockets.

*They all empty their pockets and come up with 3 papers clips, 2 rubber bands, 3 Nigguhs phone numbers, 4 French Hens, 5 Golden rings, 2 Turtle Doves and a Partridge in a Pear Tree*

ALL 3:

Logakal: DAMMN ...What would McGyver DO?!?!?

[The Elect Lady]

Sept 23, 2008 15:58:16 GMT -5 LogAKAlly <3'n Keef said:

*Sees 91 & 98 cornered...JUMPS UP and WHISTLES - LFings Arms and signals for them to duck under the desk*

Logakal: damn...dis is some shit!! Yall got any weapons??

91: Now USUALLY I'm strapped but the CourtHouse security was tight ass hell!!

98: I'm saying, I got frisked twice!!

Logakal: 98...nobody got frisked.

98: Son ov a B1tch!!!

Logakal: OK...whatchu got on you?!? Check ya pockets.

*They all empty their pockets and come up with 3 papaers clips, 2 rubber bands, 3 Nigguhs phone numbers, 3 French Hens, 5 Golden rings, 2 Turtle Doves and a Partridge in a Pear Tree*

ALL 3:

Logakal: DAMMN ...What would McGyver DO?!?!?

*pause*

You got issues, but I luv ya!

*play*

[ReignMan19]

NUK if you buck NUK if you buck NUK if you buck NUK if you buck NUK if you buck NUK if you buck NUK if you buck NUK if you buck NUK if you buck NUK if you buck NUK if you buck NUK if you buck NUK if you buck NUK if you buck NUK if you buck NUK if you buck NUK if you buck NUK if you buck NUK if you buck NUK if you buck

*throwing blows*

Where my Money at .. I need I need I need CASH!!!!

*Wearing "Fresh to Def" T-shirts courtesy of ReignWear Clothing