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Post by B Strugg on May 19, 2008 18:53:04 GMT -5
So...I became really good friends with this girl my freshman year of college...We shared our interest in different things, but we became extremely close due to our extreme interests in two different organizations. I ended up having to leave school for two years due to other things going on, and during that time, she confided in me that she was born a boy and had an operation to become a "woman" her senior year of high school...I stayed cool with her to this very day...but I told her that pursuing membership into a sorority may not be a good idea. Now I'm back at school....and she is now pursuing membership into the organization she was interested in, hanging out with the ladies, getting to know them and what not....now my only issue is what is going to happen if/when they do find? Would I be looked at as wrong for not speaking up to the members of the org bythe org I am interested in even though I don't have any loyalties to the org she's pursuing? I'm not one to get into any one else's business, or tattling, or any of that...I personally wish she wouldn't have told me, cuz I feel bad everytime I see her with these ladies.
FEEDBACK PLEASE!!
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Post by GorgeousNgreen on May 19, 2008 18:56:53 GMT -5
so she was really born a boy? or was she a hermaphrodite?
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Post by B Strugg on May 19, 2008 18:59:09 GMT -5
She was really a boy. I asked the same question when she first told me.
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Post by frozenmenace on May 19, 2008 19:08:12 GMT -5
INTERESTING...
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Post by coldfront06 on May 19, 2008 19:09:07 GMT -5
This is some deep shit! LOL.
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Post by GorgeousNgreen on May 19, 2008 19:12:03 GMT -5
lol - yeah i cant even really respond to that.....
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Post by CrimsonENDvy on May 19, 2008 19:14:23 GMT -5
Wow...just...wow.
Wow.
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Post by B Strugg on May 19, 2008 19:17:05 GMT -5
It's sad....I've been sitting here going back and forth about what to do, and since a majority here are greek, I needed some insight. I feel a little bad posting it. My mom is like "You need to tell them." But I can see the news story and uproar from the LGBT community if she is rejected due to her background...and I can also see what can happen if she is accepted...That would open the door for transgendered men and women to pursue membership...this is getting too dee for me..yet I'm still confused on what to do...
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Post by GorgeousNgreen on May 19, 2008 19:20:18 GMT -5
so "she" is gay? or open with it?
They (sororities) arent obligated to tell anyone why they dont accept an aspirant!
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Post by coldfront06 on May 19, 2008 19:22:09 GMT -5
I say stay out of it. She's your friend, your obligation is to her and not to that organization. Let them find out on their own.
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Post by CrimsonENDvy on May 19, 2008 19:24:27 GMT -5
 okay I'm gonna bite. I think you should tell someone. In the bylaws of black sororities, it states that membership is for women only...but at the same time I guess she IS a woman. I guess if she has taken on the identity of a woman then...but then again like you said it opens the door... Wow man. I would tell someone, definitely. Let them at least have the option. That way if they accept her, they fully know what they're getting into. Or at least give them a chance to research the approach to take in this situation. But THEN AGAIN, if she told you this in confidence it's not right or your place. Honey, this is such a tough situation, I honestly can't rationalize well. I'm so sorry.  |
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Post by GorgeousNgreen on May 19, 2008 19:24:42 GMT -5
I'm kind of confused....
I mean there are gay members in orgs - but i have never heard of transgendered members....but is she "out" w/ her operation??
Maybe I will just stay out of this! LOL
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Post by B Strugg on May 19, 2008 19:29:05 GMT -5
gorgeous: She is "gay" meaning she dates boys...that's what you were asking right? I thought about that, they don't have to give her a reason, and if she disputes it publicly then she'd be telling her own business...right? OK...that made me feel so much better.
Cold: You are 100% correct. But I couldn't help feel but to feel bad that she's lying to them in a sense...jus like the boys she date who have no idea...it's kind of like watching a friend cheat on some one and you watch it happen with a hand shielding your eyes.
But I decided to stay out of it...Thank you all for the responses given. I have been sitting on this info for a minute just feeling bad. At the end of the day, what happens in the dark always come to the light...some one will find out...even if she's accepted...I just know I don't want to be there if/ when it happens....damn..
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Post by Blu on May 19, 2008 19:29:41 GMT -5
This some old "Crying Game" type shyt |
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Post by Blu on May 19, 2008 19:30:30 GMT -5
I say stay out of it. She's your friend, your obligation is to her and not to that organization. Let them find out on their own. I have to agree.... |
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Post by Prissy New Year!!! on May 19, 2008 19:31:01 GMT -5
For some reason I don't believe this. I am usually not this cynical, but something about this post rings false to me.
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Post by coldfront06 on May 19, 2008 19:32:26 GMT -5
OMG...she is dating guys, and they don't know that she used to be a dude? damn, damn, damn...LOL.
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Post by GorgeousNgreen on May 19, 2008 19:33:31 GMT -5
yeah that is kinda weird.......
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Post by B Strugg on May 19, 2008 19:36:22 GMT -5
Ahh Crim those were my thoughts exactly...Give the organization an option!! That's what I told her in the first place...and then I thought about the fact that a lot of people may not be comfortable with her joining...so I discouraged her from pursuing..sort of.
Gorgeous: She is living as a heterosexual woman....but I said "gay" because she is/was a man who dates men...hell I dunno. So every one we know deal with her as a woman. She looks like your typical woman...now because I know her secret i can see where the manly parts of her are...but otherwise she's a regular girl..
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Post by GorgeousNgreen on May 19, 2008 19:37:58 GMT -5
oh........
well i dont know - still is a little weird...
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Post by Colourgirlie on May 19, 2008 19:39:01 GMT -5
One thing we have to remember is that anatomically and hormonally, she is a woman, therefore she is viewed as a woman. If her driver's license says "female", then the state has recognized her as a woman. It is a touchy subject, however she is not "homosexual" considering that she is now a woman. Complicated? Yes. But technically, she's no homo. This is a situation where Regal should speak upon the matter. I'm sure that she would give a very enlightening discourse. <--- misses Regal |
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Post by Blu on May 19, 2008 19:40:27 GMT -5
OMG...she is dating guys, and they don't know that she used to be a dude? damn, damn, damn...LOL. This here is one of a brotha's worst nightmares  |
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Post by coldfront06 on May 19, 2008 19:41:52 GMT -5
OMG...she is dating guys, and they don't know that she used to be a dude? damn, damn, damn...LOL. This here is one of a brotha's worst nightmares Seriously...I don't give a damn about the sorority...but s/he needs to tell these dudes that upfront! LOL. |
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Post by Blu on May 19, 2008 19:44:31 GMT -5
Hell yeah lol. That can be the difference between a misunderstanding and an ass whooping...
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Post by B Strugg on May 19, 2008 19:45:17 GMT -5
So if I do stay out of it...and some how it comes out in the open that I knew....I don't think I will be looked at as loyal...but as triflin..right? Like there's no way that the guys that she have dated will be cool with me if they find out that I knew...and I'm not sure if the organization I am interested in will look at it as a positive thing...cuz I know that as soon as one greek find out something, they all find out...
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Post by coldfront06 on May 19, 2008 19:46:49 GMT -5
Hell yeah lol. That can be the difference between a misunderstanding and an ass whooping... ...or a murder...seriously. Saying "by the way, I was born a boy" too late can lead to a person snapping. |
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Post by Colourgirlie on May 19, 2008 19:46:54 GMT -5
Who would divulge that you knew in the first place? I doubt that your friend would. And if there is no one else that knows, who would tell? The only way that I could see it coming out that you knew is if you were asked personally by someone.
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Post by Mrs. Eyes on May 19, 2008 19:47:42 GMT -5
I'll bite...................
Seeing that you two are pursuing two different orgs, remember one thing. You two are FRIENDS first, then the ORGANIZATIONS come second. If she trusted you enough to tell you something that was THAT deep, she must really see you as a friend.
Look at it from her POV:
What she told you must have meant she trusted you a great deal. Plus, think about it like this:
If you DO expose her for NOW being a woman.............what will that prove/solve? Think of her humiliation, embarassment, etc.
If you are contemplating on exposing her, are you REALLY her friend? Honestly? Can you really call yourself her friend?
Just support her in her decision. After watching a Tyra show, transgenders who have friends are hard to come by. People dono't want to understand nor try to understand, so do you really wanna risk a friendship over this?
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Post by B Strugg on May 19, 2008 19:48:09 GMT -5
Yea, I agree with her needing to tell the men..but at the same time....I don't want her to get her ass whooped..or killed by a guy even if he didn't sleep with her.....ok and again it's gotten too deep...I wish i never even got myself into this crap.
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Post by coldfront06 on May 19, 2008 19:48:24 GMT -5
So if I do stay out of it...and some how it comes out in the open that I knew....I don't think I will be looked at as loyal...but as triflin..right? Like there's no way that the guys that she have dated will be cool with me if they find out that I knew...and I'm not sure if the organization I am interested in will look at it as a positive thing...cuz I know that as soon as one greek find out something, they all find out... You need to be more worried about the guys that she's messing with! I'm being serious...if you're "cool" with any guy that she's dated, and they find out that you knew...if they have some anger about it, they might take it out on you. |
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.:I'm in love thirst, you are the quencher:. :..no time for fake ones...:{=}{/=}{=}{/=}
okay I'm gonna bite.
