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Post by LejaOMG on Jan 4, 2012 14:38:22 GMT -5
How many times have you been in romantic love? (according to your own definition) Do you think your number is normal?
Is it usually in the confines of a committed relationship? Or have you fallen in romantic love with a non BF/GF?
Do you seek love or does it just seem to find you? Have you ever fought it?
These are the questions... (more to come)
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Post by ShimmeringSTAR on Jan 4, 2012 15:14:37 GMT -5
I have fought love.
What do you mean by seek?!? I dont think Ive sought love it just happened and it took years to get there but we werent in a relationship.
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Post by LejaOMG on Jan 4, 2012 15:18:53 GMT -5
seek= you meet a person, get to know them with the express intent to fall in love with them
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Post by ShimmeringSTAR on Jan 4, 2012 15:22:48 GMT -5
Okaaaaay!!!! No I havent. I have trust issues so love is far from my mind but with my new foundness of wanting a relationship If I meet someone worthy than yes..you can kinda say Im seeking it..
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Post by Chal™ on Jan 4, 2012 15:42:08 GMT -5
How many times have you been in romantic love? (according to your own definition) Do you think your number is normal?Thrice. Not sure if it's normal, but... Is it usually in the confines of a committed relationship? Or have you fallen in romantic love with a non BF/GF?Twice, yes, it was while in the relationship. The one time it wasn't, geesh.... Do you seek love or does it just seem to find you? I stopped looking for love years ago. I found that when "actively searching" for love, people, well, I tended to overlook a lot of things that were serious red flags because I'd convinced myself that "this" was the real thing. Have you ever fought it?Perhaps more than I should have. Hindsight is a beast.  These are the questions...(more to come)And those are answers (bring them on).
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Post by LejaOMG on Jan 4, 2012 15:56:52 GMT -5
1. 4-6 times, depending on whether my 2 of my 4 high school BFs count, lol. 1 told one HS BF that I loved him, but I did not. I think my number is kinda high (for my age group).
2. Interestingly, no. In each case, I "fell" before we copped titles. In 3 cases, we never copped a title at all. Indeed, I generally am not interested in committing to someone unless I already feel love for them. In one case, we dated awhile, then we fell, then we committed.
3. I don't look for it. Mostly because I believe I have discovered a secret substitute. No, I won't be sharing, lol. Hit me in PMs if u care
4. Have I fought it? Not actively enough in some cases. This last time, I fought and fought and one day, literally I said "I'm tired of fighting. Eff it. I love you too." Almost nothing good came of it, but I love being in love, so I enjoyed it while it lasted.
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Post by LejaOMG on Jan 4, 2012 16:05:21 GMT -5
More Questions:
Have you ever fallen out of love with someone? Did they remain in your life? If yes, what did their role become?
At what point, if any, would you stop dating a person if romantic love did not eventually develop (assuming the two of you otherwise got along famously)?
Do you think it's possible to force love (to exist or not to exist)?
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Post by Chal™ on Jan 4, 2012 16:13:44 GMT -5
More Questions: More Answers: Have you ever fallen out of love with someone? Did they remain in your life? If yes, what did their role become?Yes, twice. They are no longer IN my life though #1 pops up from time to time trying to ease back in there, and #2 (who has a 200% better chance of getting back in than #1) still does the occasional happy holiday/happy birthday/thinking of you text. That third guy, thou.... geesh  At what point, if any, would you stop dating a person if romantic love did not eventually develop (assuming the two of you otherwise got along famously)?I'm not really sure of a specific time frame, but eventually you realize that "this" isn't going anywhere so maybe we should just be what we really are: friends. I'm not going to waste years on a person trying to make them a mate when it's obvious that good friends is all we are destined to be. Do you think it's possible to force love (to exist or not to exist)?I don't. I think that by trying to force these thing you make yourself miserable. We have to understand and accept that there are just somethings we cannot control. What else you got? 
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Post by LejaOMG on Jan 4, 2012 16:42:12 GMT -5
1. I have not fallen out of love during the course of our relationship. Once, a BF did me EXTREMELY dirty. I did not fall out of love with him. Rather, I fell in hate with him and the love was simply subsumed. If that unpleasantness had never happened, it might eventually have fizzled out. There are some folks who I used to love, who I can now safely say I don't. Not sure how I got to that place, I think enough time passed to where the love died because we weren't feeding it. Only one of those I-used-to-love-him-now-I-don't cats is still in my life. We're good friends now. I still have platonic love for him. (whew, that was more than I expected!)
2. I'm with Chal on this one. Which is precisely why I don't care for putting the commitment cart before the romantic love horse. If I don't (yet) love you, what am I committing to? That's more like exclusive dating than committed relationship, to me.
3. No, I don't. However, I do believe it's possible to force the fruits of love.
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Post by Chal™ on Jan 4, 2012 16:59:50 GMT -5
love =/= fruits of love ?
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Post by LejaOMG on Jan 4, 2012 17:02:02 GMT -5
Yeah. Ya know, like with arranged marriages. The couple doesn't (yet) love each other, but they're forcing the fruits. The man provides for his wife, the woman is devoted to her husband, they worship together, present gifts to each other, etc. Normally I'd say these things are a function of love but they can absolutely exist without it.
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Post by Chal™ on Jan 4, 2012 17:07:31 GMT -5
ok. i get it.
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Post by LejaOMG on Jan 4, 2012 17:18:24 GMT -5
More Questions:
Has anyone ever said that they loved you and you didn't believe it? Why or why not?
Have you ever lied about whether you were in love? What benefit did you intend? How did it turn out?
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Post by Chal™ on Jan 4, 2012 17:43:41 GMT -5
More Questions:
*fist pump* Yes!
Has anyone ever said that they loved you and you didn't believe it? Why or why not?
Yes. I didn't believe him because his actions didn't fit the words. I like to think that when someone truly loves me, I'll feel it. The only feeling this cat gave off was cold emptyness.
Have you ever lied about whether you were in love? What benefit did you intend? How did it turn out?
I don't think I lied about it in that it was a straight up intentional lie. I think I was more confused about what I though love was and should be. There was no beneficial gain, nor was there any loss. How did it turn out? Well, it did teach me that I had a whole lot more to learn about love. After that, I made sure I really felt it before I expressed it.
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Post by LejaOMG on Jan 5, 2012 9:02:50 GMT -5
1. He said he loved me. I believed that HE believed he was telling the truth. However, his actions didn't measure up to my standard (Biblical). It's like I want and need watermelon and you provide me with a cantaloupe. Sure, it's a perfectly good cantaloupe and I like cantaloupes just fine. But...that's not what I came here for. So let me tell it, no he didn't love me. Incidentally, I didn't love him either.
2. Yes. I lied and said I wasn't, in an attempt to protect myself from a situation that had the potential to turn out badly. Because you can't force love not to exist, I eventually admitted it. For unrelated reasons, it still turned out badly. I've also lied and said I loved someone due to pressure from my S.O. I cared a great deal for him and I thought it would really hurt his feelings if I didn't eventually crank out an "I love you too." I always liked him, but it never quite curled all the way over. We eventually broke up and I never admitted it. No harm, no foul.
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Post by Chal™ on Jan 5, 2012 9:49:25 GMT -5
It's the obligatory I love you, too that makes me mad. If you dont feel it, don't tell me because I'm not gonna say it back to you. I find it unnecessary and misleading and you can keep that mess. If you care deeply, tell me you care deeply. If you strongly like, say you strongly like. But if you tell me you love me, then dagnabit, you'd better love me and love me right.
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Post by QUIET As Kept on Jan 5, 2012 14:20:53 GMT -5
*nods head in approval of this thread*
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Post by Southie on Jan 5, 2012 14:21:46 GMT -5
How many times have you been in romantic love? (according to your own definition) Do you think your number is normal? Is it usually in the confines of a committed relationship? Or have you fallen in romantic love with a non BF/GF? Do you seek love or does it just seem to find you? Have you ever fought it? These are the questions... (more to come) I have been in romantic "like". Still seeking to find love. |
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Post by Rare_Commodity on Jan 6, 2012 14:10:41 GMT -5
^^ Something similar to this. I have been infatuated by several people and mistakenly calling it love. Love is a two-way street and I think in my previous relationships I was the only one traveling down it thus I call it infatuation...
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Post by LejaOMG on Jan 6, 2012 14:19:57 GMT -5
I don't think that love necessarily be reciprocated. If both people are in love with another, then great. That couple is "in love." But I see no reason at all why a person cannot feel love for another irrespective of how that person feels about them.
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Post by Chal™ on Jan 6, 2012 15:48:02 GMT -5
Right. Whoever came up with the love = two ways street was on drugs or something because that is NOT how it goes. It just feels better when it works out that way.
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Post by Rare_Commodity on Jan 9, 2012 9:42:49 GMT -5
^^True true...
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Post by Gee-Are on Jan 12, 2012 13:59:08 GMT -5
How many times have you been in romantic love? (according to your own definition)I'll say 1X Alex, maybe 2...but hindsight is definitely a strong help for judiciously deciding if I was really in love or not... Do you think your number is normal?I guess so, I don't worry about being normal too much, though... Is it usually in the confines of a committed relationship?Well...I'm probably not gonna commit to anyone unless I've experienced truly being in love, so it has so far always started outside a relationship and developed within it... Or have you fallen in romantic love with a non BF/GF? if I do it is always that way, technically... Do you seek love or does it just seem to find you?Don't go looking for love... Have you ever fought it? Hell yeah, all the time. These are the questions... (more to come) |
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Post by Gee-Are on Jan 12, 2012 13:59:27 GMT -5
How many times have you been in romantic love? (according to your own definition)I'll say 1X Alex, maybe 2...but hindsight is definitely a strong help for judiciously deciding if I was really in love or not... Do you think your number is normal?I guess so, I don't worry about being normal too much, though... Is it usually in the confines of a committed relationship?Well...I'm probably not gonna commit to anyone unless I've experienced truly being in love, so it has so far always started outside a relationship and developed within it... Or have you fallen in romantic love with a non BF/GF? if I do it is always that way, technically... Do you seek love or does it just seem to find you?Don't go looking for love... Have you ever fought it? Hell yeah, all the time. These are the questions... (more to come)
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Post by Gee-Are on Jan 12, 2012 14:06:44 GMT -5
{/quote] More Questions: Have you ever fallen out of love with someone? Yeah Did they remain in your life? Not really If yes, what did their role become? At what point, if any, would you stop dating a person if romantic love did not eventually develop (assuming the two of you otherwise got along famously)? Probably not never, but there might need to be some conversations had... Do you think it's possible to force love (to exist or not to exist)? No, not for me, but some might be able to do it. I would also think it would be harder to reignite a love once it was lost... |
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Post by Gee-Are on Jan 12, 2012 14:10:19 GMT -5
Right. Whoever came up with the love = two ways street was on drugs or something because that is NOT how it goes. It just feels better when it works out that way. I found love on a 2-way street... and lost it when the truck jumped the median. |
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Post by Gee-Are on Jan 12, 2012 14:13:39 GMT -5
More Questions:Has anyone ever said that they loved you and you didn't believe it? Why or why not? No, because I have that effect on people  Have you ever lied about whether you were in love? What benefit did you intend? How did it turn out? One time in a relationship after I was not feeling the other person anymore, I said it to continue the charade. It didn't last...
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Post by LejaOMG on Jan 12, 2012 14:23:46 GMT -5
Is it usually in the confines of a committed relationship?Well...I'm probably not gonna commit to anyone unless I've experienced truly being in love, so it has so far always started outside a relationship and developed within it... Or have you fallen in romantic love with a non BF/GF? if I do it is always that way, technically... This is my EXACT approach. |
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Post by Gee-Are on Jan 12, 2012 16:32:14 GMT -5
So...do you feel like you're still trying to figure out love?
What does love mean to you, how do you know you're experiencing it?
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Post by LejaOMG on Jan 12, 2012 16:35:45 GMT -5
1. Am I still trying to figure it out? No. Indeed, I don't believe I ever embarked on any such journey, I just kinda learned as I went and I assume that's how it'll be until I die.
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