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Post by LejaOMG on Sept 13, 2011 6:30:38 GMT -5
So you meet someone, kick it awhile, maybe talk on the phone...you kinda know each other and decide, ok let's go out together. Lovely meal, great wine, stimulating conversation. Then the check comes. Your companion slides the little leather folder in your direction without hesitation. What happens now? Why?
1. You pay it without hesitation
2. You offer to split it
3. You refuse to pay it
4. Some other alternative
Whatchall got?
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Post by Southie on Sept 13, 2011 6:42:02 GMT -5
"Isn't this cute"?? We going Dutch??? LOL
Interesting
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Post by LejaOMG on Sept 13, 2011 6:59:57 GMT -5
So you would pay for your half of the meal, then?
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Post by Southie on Sept 13, 2011 7:13:24 GMT -5
Yes, I would pay for it.
Now, I know what time it is with dude...
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Post by Rare_Commodity on Sept 13, 2011 8:14:33 GMT -5
Hmmm. I would
1) Inquire "What ya funds looking like" *thinking in my head-I know I'm not out with no scrub.*
2) Depending on the response pay without hesitation. Nothing more awkward then sitting there trying to figure out who is going to pay. Embarrasing.
Like Southie said I know what type of dude you are going forward and to CYA I should have disccussed this prior to the date. But I always thought whats OVERSTOOD didn't have to be spoken be not with these new age nikkas. If You ask me you BEST be paying. If I ask you I should be prepared to be in the event you pull some slick ish....
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Post by Noble Work on Sept 13, 2011 8:24:55 GMT -5
Topic sounds like it's for the ladies. With that said I'll chime in anyway. If this course of action wasn't discussed prior to, Ladies being a man myself I'd say run.
I don't know what his Man's Law book says, but mine say otherwise. Furthermore, Pay for the tab/dinner even if she does ask you.
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Post by LejaOMG on Sept 13, 2011 8:26:05 GMT -5
I'd pay, but I'd also promptly delete his number from my phone. Why, you ask? Because:
1. what type of impolite ish is that? You just gonna slide the bill over to me without a word? Really, ninja?
2. If you asked me out, you should pay. I was not raised to expect anything different. I was, however, raised to not accept things from people that I can't afford for myself, so I'd have a piece of plastic just in case.
3. If we mutually agreed to get together and neither of us technically asked out the other-- i.e. "hey I'll be downtown later...oh yeah? me too...cool, well lets text each other around 6 and see if we can link up...bet, hope to see you this evening" -- then the bill could be split or the man could pay the entire thing. But in no way do I see the woman footing the bill being a viable option. Yes, I am aware this employs a double standard. No, it does not affect my argument.
4. I sometimes hear of men doing things like this in order to "test" a woman and grade her based on her reaction. I WILL pay the check, so I may pass your little test. But I DO NOT like game-playing. I will demonstrate this by never linking up with you again.
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Post by LejaOMG on Sept 13, 2011 8:26:52 GMT -5
Topic sounds like it's for the ladies. With that said I'll chime in anyway. If this course of action wasn't discussed prior to, Ladies being a man myself I'd say run. I don't know what his Man's Law book says, but mine say otherwise. Furthermore, Pay for the tab/dinner even if she does ask you. the topic is for EVERYONE. If you were out with a woman and the bill came and she smooth slid it across the table in your direction, what is your reaction? |
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Post by ReignMan19 on Sept 13, 2011 9:20:45 GMT -5
If I invite I pay .. end of story.
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Post by ReignMan19 on Sept 13, 2011 9:22:08 GMT -5
Topic sounds like it's for the ladies. With that said I'll chime in anyway. If this course of action wasn't discussed prior to, Ladies being a man myself I'd say run. I don't know what his Man's Law book says, but mine say otherwise. Furthermore, Pay for the tab/dinner even if she does ask you. the topic is for EVERYONE. If you were out with a woman and the bill came and she smooth slid it across the table in your direction, what is your reaction? I'm going to pay and probably judge the ish out of her... Since she sliding bills, she better slide something else later... |
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Post by Noble Work on Sept 13, 2011 9:26:41 GMT -5
Topic sounds like it's for the ladies. With that said I'll chime in anyway. If this course of action wasn't discussed prior to, Ladies being a man myself I'd say run. I don't know what his Man's Law book says, but mine say otherwise. Furthermore, Pay for the tab/dinner even if she does ask you. the topic is for EVERYONE. If you were out with a woman and the bill came and she smooth slid it across the table in your direction, what is your reaction? She wouldn't even have it in her possession to slide it to me. Assuming the waiter/waitress knows the proper way of doing things, he/she would extend the check to the man. Depending on the restaurant and formal/informal, (and this day in age) the waiter/waitress places it on the table. I get that. But, I'd quickly scoop up that check and leave a tip. So yes Leja you would go out with me again  |
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Post by Chal™ on Sept 13, 2011 9:26:55 GMT -5
I love Reign. He makes me smile.
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Post by Chal™ on Sept 13, 2011 9:32:39 GMT -5
To answer the question, one of three things: 1. Call the server over and say, "I had this and this. Separate the bill, please." 2. If he invited me, shoot him the  ., then let him know that I'll be (assuming we rode together) up front or (assuming we arrived separately) leaving. 3. What she said. |
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Post by ReignMan19 on Sept 13, 2011 9:40:25 GMT -5
My things is don't touch it if you not paying... Sliding a bill towards the other person is arrogant or shows a sense of entitlement.
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Post by Coldfront06 on Sept 13, 2011 9:43:38 GMT -5
Sliding the bill in this manner is rude, period. If it happened to me I'd pay but I'd never speak to her again.
Generally, I believe whoever invites should pay. I have really never had a problem with this...if I invite I am going to pay automatically. If it was not really specified and we just agreed to meet, I'll pay. But if a woman calls me invites me to something that I didn't already plan to do, I usually expect her to pay and usually she does...never really had an awkward situation. Now, I have gotten an invitation along the lines of "You should take me out to do...whatever" which sets the expectation that I'm paying. I usually decline those, depending upon the nature of my relationship with the woman.
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Post by Chal™ on Sept 13, 2011 9:47:21 GMT -5
Sliding the bill in this manner is rude, period. If it happened to me I'd pay but I'd never speak to her again. Generally, I believe whoever invites should pay. I have really never had a problem with this...if I invite I am going to pay automatically. If it was not really specified and we just agreed to meet, I'll pay. But if a woman calls me invites me to something that I didn't already plan to do, I usually expect her to pay and usually she does...never really had an awkward situation. Now, I have gotten an invitation along the lines of "You should take me out to do...whatever" which sets the expectation that I'm paying. I usually decline those, depending upon the nature of my relationship with the woman. I can dig it |
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Post by QueenOH on Sept 13, 2011 10:32:30 GMT -5
If he asked me then I'm calling the waiter over and telling the waiter loudly to split the bill. Serve dude up a side of "You not doing that bullshit to me again because we aren't cool anymore" attitude for dessert followed by an after dinner mint of "cheap ass bastard" lecture.
If I asked him no problem paying
If we mutually agreed to meet. Split the check. No attitude.
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Post by DJ Firecracker on Sept 13, 2011 11:10:08 GMT -5
To answer the question, one of three things: 1. Call the server over and say, "I had this and this. Separate the bill, please." 2. If he invited me, shoot him the ., then let him know that I'll be (assuming we rode together) up front or (assuming we arrived separately) leaving. 3. What she said. Yeah, that's definitely rude. Whether you're testing a woman on the first date or trying to get over on a free meal - that skull duggery dont fly in my world. Trust that some words will be exchanged before I exit as well. |
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Post by LejaOMG on Sept 13, 2011 12:24:27 GMT -5
Skullduggery?! You just gained 30,000 cool points from me!
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Post by Bunny Hop on Sept 13, 2011 12:45:52 GMT -5
1. *think to myself* Well I'll be damned... or " this nigla here2. Wait for the waiter/waitress to come back and tell them to split the bill. 3. Go home (hopefully I'm driving myself) 3.5 Make a FB status about it  4. Not talk to him again, except to let him know why I'm not fooling with him anymore, LOL. |
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Post by Chal™ on Sept 13, 2011 13:57:07 GMT -5
LMBO @ The 3.5!!!
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Post by Noble Work on Sept 13, 2011 16:15:24 GMT -5
But B nigla though?
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Post by Sapphire on Sept 13, 2011 22:43:15 GMT -5
LMAO @ Bun and skullduggery!
Honestly I would probably laught thinking it was a joke and give him the ninja is you serious look. I agree with Cold that sliding a bill over like that without any sort of discussion first is rude and presumptious. I feel like if you invite you pay unless you've established that you're going to "hang out and do dinner, nothing formal... we can go dutch type of thing." At some point we have to leave. I would probably just pay and then nix any future dates.
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Post by Coldfront06 on Sept 14, 2011 10:39:53 GMT -5
Funny that I had a conversation with a friend last night who was in this situation. She'd been talking to this dude who wanted to date her. She wasn't that interested so she never went out with him. Fast forward a few weeks...her sister and her husband invited her out to an anniversary celebration. She didn't want to go alone so she invited this dude to be her date. They go to a nice restaurant, and the dude goes to the bathroom right around the time the waiter was bringing the bill. My friend took the bill and put it in front of the dude's chair. He gets back and he's like "What's this?"
My friend says that it was "understood" that he should pay (even though she technically asked him out). Her reasoning was that since he had been trying so hard to go out with her, she simply gave him what he wanted by inviting him and he should want to pay to make a good impression. I thought her reasoning was very interesting.
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Post by Noble Work on Sept 14, 2011 11:11:29 GMT -5
Sounds like "SHE" understood that he should pay. He must of went to the bathroom when THEY were having this understanding prior to, cause dude was perplexed.
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Post by ReignMan19 on Sept 14, 2011 11:21:56 GMT -5
This is just trifling...
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Post by LejaOMG on Sept 14, 2011 11:51:43 GMT -5
Does anyone believe, as I do, that the dude purposely went to the bathroom to try to avoid the check discussion? Interestingly, I agree that he was not obligated to pay the check. But I don't see why he wouldn't want to
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Post by Coldfront06 on Sept 14, 2011 12:28:14 GMT -5
It might have been clear to him that she really wasn't that interested in him and perhaps she was just looking for someone to foot the bill for the night. Especially since he had been trying to date her and she always declined...and suddenly he gets a call to go to a relatively pricey place. He did pay but she said he didn't seem happy about it. Some women are not good at feigning interest...if she was aloof and disinterested all night, I can see why he would have reacted that way.
I was glad she told me that story. She invited me to a concert recently, and I surely expected that SHE'D be buying both tickets, especially by the way she phrased the invitation. I will be politely declining that invitation now...LMAO.
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Post by Southie on Sept 14, 2011 12:51:56 GMT -5
slightly off-topic
I can't stand it, when a man accepts ailimony. (makes no sense, but to me he looks weak)
O.k.
carry on
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Post by 123Diva on Sept 15, 2011 18:53:13 GMT -5
MEN DO THIS?  LOL. I'd pay for my half and never go out with him again. Oh yea, and...Don't TEST me. Too old for foolishness. |
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., then let him know that I'll be (assuming we rode together) up front or (assuming we arrived separately) leaving.
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