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Post by capricornhorseman on May 17, 2010 22:00:26 GMT -5
Hypothetically speaking, if someone goes to an informational, submitts an application, gets accepted formally, but then decides to decline membership because of personal reasons, and then five years later decides to want to join a grad chapter of a different organization how is that looked upon, is it unacceptable? Would you as a member accept a prospective member, if he or she tried to join a another sorority(other than your own) during undergrad, but then wanted to join your grad chapter after some time has passed?
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Post by Chal™ on May 17, 2010 22:02:40 GMT -5
um, can you make a detour to the newbie thread please and thank you.  |
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Post by capricornhorseman on May 17, 2010 22:14:30 GMT -5
okay
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Post by Oren Ishii on May 17, 2010 22:28:15 GMT -5
Dammit, chal! LOL
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Post by peppermint on May 17, 2010 22:43:02 GMT -5
Oh okay, I see why she was smited. Cappy, that question is so chapter by chapter it's not even funny.
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Post by All Pledging Is Legal on May 17, 2010 23:07:15 GMT -5
No, you will not get looked down upon.
I actually think that most Graduate chapters encourage potentials to explore other options. They want you to have a concrete answer as to why you would like to join the organization. Perusing the other groups helps to eliminate the potential for regret in the long run.
This is the real test of brotherhood/sisterhood that really strengthens the bond.
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Post by Chal™ on May 18, 2010 0:12:10 GMT -5
Perusing other orgs and filling out paperwork are 2 totally different things. It's one thing to go to an informational for INFORMATION, but to actually apply, yea that raises some eyebrows when you switch it up and not just Greek eyebrows. I'd be lookin at you like
~ ^
Q Q
..>
.___
/....\
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Post by Chal™ on May 18, 2010 0:18:14 GMT -5
*tries to look innocent* What? what I do? lol |
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Post by Cambist on May 18, 2010 6:37:44 GMT -5
Realistically, the motive would be questioned. Many greeks have this notion that the organization of your choice should have been "in your heart" from birth!! You should have always known what organization you wanted to join since there is only one right organization for every person.
This, while juvenile in my opinion, is how members of all organizations think on both the ug and g level.
That's just how it is.
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Post by bigsisteronpoint on May 18, 2010 9:50:54 GMT -5
This is an interesting topic though. I have a friend who during undergrad went to ABC fraternity's interest meeting in like his freshman year. Some of his family members are in ABC so he felt that he should try to join too. Well they did not take him at the time, and he says as the years went on, and new lines came and went, he never tried out for ABC fraternity again because after being on campus with them he realized it wouldn't be a good fit afterall. He was able to thoroughly research during this time instead of jumping in like he originally did. Mind you, this guy never filled out any paperwork or whatever, but at his undergrad, it was looked at if you went to a certain group's interest meeting, you were always going to be labled as a "wannabe" or whatever, so some folks knew of his initial interest in ABC.
Well this guy ended up graduating and joining XYZ fraternity on the grad level. XYZ fraternity was suspended while he was at the undergrad level. I asked him some time later about this because we're friends, and he said he was grateful that ABC fraternity didn't take him because he feels he is much better fit for XYZ. And if ABC would have taken him during his freshman year, he would not have been equipped with the knowledge that he gained from further study of the fraternities.
Moral of the story... I think as long as no paperwork has been filled out, going to an INFORMATIONAL is just that...information. Joining a fraternity or sorority is a lifelong commitment and at least this guy realized that before it was too late.
Those who fail to realize this, I believe is why so many Greeks are non-active today -- because their heart wasn't in it to begin with.
Just my $.13 cents!
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Post by Chal™ on May 18, 2010 10:19:07 GMT -5
I actually agree with this post. People do jump too fast. If I attend every informational on campus, that doesn't mean i'm wishy washy. It means I'm trying to learn more about each organization in order to find where i feel i truly belong. if anything, it should make you feel good that someone took the time to "find" themselves because it means they will bring more to the organization. This is an interesting topic though. I have a friend who during undergrad went to ABC fraternity's interest meeting in like his freshman year. Some of his family members are in ABC so he felt that he should try to join too. Well they did not take him at the time, and he says as the years went on, and new lines came and went, he never tried out for ABC fraternity again because after being on campus with them he realized it wouldn't be a good fit afterall. He was able to thoroughly research during this time instead of jumping in like he originally did. Mind you, this guy never filled out any paperwork or whatever, but at his undergrad, it was looked at if you went to a certain group's interest meeting, you were always going to be labled as a "wannabe" or whatever, so some folks knew of his initial interest in ABC. Well this guy ended up graduating and joining XYZ fraternity on the grad level. XYZ fraternity was suspended while he was at the undergrad level. I asked him some time later about this because we're friends, and he said he was grateful that ABC fraternity didn't take him because he feels he is much better fit for XYZ. And if ABC would have taken him during his freshman year, he would not have been equipped with the knowledge that he gained from further study of the fraternities. Moral of the story... I think as long as no paperwork has been filled out, going to an INFORMATIONAL is just that...information. Joining a fraternity or sorority is a lifelong commitment and at least this guy realized that before it was too late. Those who fail to realize this, I believe is why so many Greeks are non-active today -- because their heart wasn't in it to begin with. Just my $.13 cents! |
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Post by Julie Art on May 18, 2010 10:56:27 GMT -5
Going to an information is one thing, actually turning in an application for membership is on a whole other level.
So, you say you didn't join because of personal reasons at that time. If those personal reasons weren't there, would you have gone on and completed the membership process?
In all honesty, it would raise eyebrows simply because you did submit paperwork for membership for another org., which means you weren't just thinking about it, at that point in time you actually wanted to be a member of said org.
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Post by Southie on May 18, 2010 11:22:32 GMT -5
Hypothetically speaking, if someone goes to an informational, submitts an application, gets accepted formally, but then decides to decline membership because of personal reasons, and then five years later decides to want to join a grad chapter of a different organization how is that looked upon, is it unacceptable? Would you as a member accept a prospective member, if he or she tried to join a another sorority(other than your own) during undergrad, but then wanted to join your grad chapter after some time has passed? What were your reasons for wanting to join the org? Moving five years later...you lost interest in that org? Do you really want to join a BGLO? |
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Post by DamieQue™ on May 18, 2010 11:24:12 GMT -5
Realistically, the motive would be questioned. Many greeks have this notion that the organization of your choice should have been "in your heart" from birth!! You should have always known what organization you wanted to join since there is only one right organization for every person. This, while juvenile in my opinion, is how members of all organizations think on both the ug and g level. That's just how it is.
What might be a slightly less jaded response is that many Greeks have this notion that the organization of your choice should have been "thoroughly researched" the first time through. You should know what organization you wanted to join since you researched and didn't just go off a knee-jerk euphoric feeling after watching a stroll or a step show.
If you would pick another organization for superficial reasons, what's to say you aren't approaching this new organization with the self-same superficiality. [/Cam bait font]
If a man proposed to you and said, "you are the one" but you know he's proposed to someone else before and said the same thing...
...well you might have good reason to question his sincerity. In the end, whether it's looked upon favorably or not isn't the issue - it's whether you will let it stop you if you are sure about what you are doing.
Good luck.
p.s. Don't mind the part where I'm baiting Cam... every now and then he and I just have to debate. It's in our contract.
p.p.s. I hope you don't come up in here asking questions and just roll out. I hope you check out that General Section and Serious Section and offer some opinions and insights. Just because you're not Greek doesn't mean you don't have something to offer. We talk about all sorts of stuff up in here - not just Greek stuff |
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Post by Julie Art on May 18, 2010 12:32:01 GMT -5
Realistically, the motive would be questioned. Many greeks have this notion that the organization of your choice should have been "in your heart" from birth!! You should have always known what organization you wanted to join since there is only one right organization for every person. This, while juvenile in my opinion, is how members of all organizations think on both the ug and g level. That's just how it is.
What might be a slightly less jaded response is that many Greeks have this notion that the organization of your choice should have been "thoroughly researched" the first time through. You should know what organization you wanted to join since you researched and didn't just go off a knee-jerk euphoric feeling after watching a stroll or a step show. If you would pick another organization for superficial reasons, what's to say you aren't approaching this new organization with the self-same superficiality. [/Cam bait font]If a man proposed to you and said, "you are the one" but you know he's proposed to someone else before and said the same thing... ...well you might have good reason to question his sincerity. In the end, whether it's looked upon favorably or not isn't the issue - it's whether you will let it stop you if you are sure about what you are doing. Good luck. p.s. Don't mind the part where I'm baiting Cam... every now and then he and I just have to debate. It's in our contract. p.p.s. I hope you don't come up in here asking questions and just roll out. I hope you check out that General Section and Serious Section and offer some opinions and insights. Just because you're not Greek doesn't mean you don't have something to offer. We talk about all sorts of stuff up in here - not just Greek stuff [/color][/quote] Underlined, iDIED! But's that! |
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Post by capricornhorseman on May 18, 2010 22:38:36 GMT -5
Thanks everyone for all your advice, but actually the crazy thing about it is it was for superficial reasons why I wanted to join my first org of choice. Most of the members are prominent figures in their communities, strong, confident, smart, I loved everything about this particular sorority.But it just wasnt totally in my heart.I remember the day I had to turn in my application, something kept telling me 'Dont do it"this organiztion just isnt for you" but yet I dont I cant explain it, i had something to prove to myself.Now, five years later, I feel like I ve done a great deal of self inventory, Im more focused, I know what I want, and that is it join my sorority of choice,I'm just a little hesistant because I dont want what I did in undergrad to come back and haunt me.Maybe I should just do me and not give a fuck about what other people think thats what I really feel like saying.lol
"What were your reasons for wanting to join the org? Moving five years later...you lost interest in that org? Do you really want to join a BGLO"?
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Post by capricornhorseman on May 18, 2010 22:41:26 GMT -5
Realistically, the motive would be questioned. Many greeks have this notion that the organization of your choice should have been "in your heart" from birth!! You should have always known what organization you wanted to join since there is only one right organization for every person. This, while juvenile in my opinion, is how members of all organizations think on both the ug and g level. That's just how it is.
What might be a slightly less jaded response is that many Greeks have this notion that the organization of your choice should have been "thoroughly researched" the first time through. You should know what organization you wanted to join since you researched and didn't just go off a knee-jerk euphoric feeling after watching a stroll or a step show.
If you would pick another organization for superficial reasons, what's to say you aren't approaching this new organization with the self-same superficiality. [/Cam bait font]
If a man proposed to you and said, "you are the one" but you know he's proposed to someone else before and said the same thing...
...well you might have good reason to question his sincerity. In the end, whether it's looked upon favorably or not isn't the issue - it's whether you will let it stop you if you are sure about what you are doing.
Good luck.
p.s. Don't mind the part where I'm baiting Cam... every now and then he and I just have to debate. It's in our contract.
p.p.s. I hope you don't come up in here asking questions and just roll out. I hope you check out that General Section and Serious Section and offer some opinions and insights. Just because you're not Greek doesn't mean you don't have something to offer. We talk about all sorts of stuff up in here - not just Greek stuff Fo Sho...  |
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Post by capricornhorseman on May 18, 2010 22:44:02 GMT -5
Going to an information is one thing, actually turning in an application for membership is on a whole other level. So, you say you didn't join because of personal reasons at that time. If those personal reasons weren't there, would you have gone on and completed the membership process? In all honesty, it would raise eyebrows simply because you did submit paperwork for membership for another org., which means you weren't just thinking about it, at that point in time you actually wanted to be a member of said org. Actually, no I wouldnt have gone through with it, there was just way too much drama that made me dislike alot of the members including my potential line sisters. |
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Post by Julie Art on May 18, 2010 22:47:27 GMT -5
Soooo why did you turn in an application in the first place if you saw so much "drama"?
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Post by Chal™ on May 18, 2010 22:56:18 GMT -5
i thought this was hypothetical. oh, i get it. this was one of those "I got this friend" situations. lol
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Post by nsync on May 18, 2010 23:04:05 GMT -5
She had something to prove to herself.
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Post by Cambist on May 19, 2010 7:19:52 GMT -5
@ Damie - I laughed out loud because my entire post was bait (although I was attempting to bait Juicy) LOL!!
**Takes the bait because he's bored....also because he's contractually obligated to do so on at least 3 per month.**
To Damie's analogy about the proposal...what happens if a woman had been married before? At some point, she had committed her life to one person. She was "one" with another man and made a vow to God that she would "love, honor, and cherish him....foresaking all others for as long as they both shall live". She "PLEDGED" that lifelong love to another man. Then they divorce....for whatever reason.
.....should any man EVER give her a shot at marriage?
Realistically....it's just a consequence of a decision the person made. Just like those who supported Hillary in the primary by talking bad about Barack and then ended up eating crow when he finally won.
Take Jesse Jackson. He was a supreme hater and that hate was not based on issues. So as a civil rights leader (somewhat)*, a pro-Black advocate, a former presidental candidate, etc...he (and others) not only supported Hillary but they came out STRONG against Obama. Fast forward to primary elections...of course Obama will consolidate all Democrats and Progressive in order to win but do you think those people (negros who said some really f'ed up things about him) were actually invited into his circle? If so, was it without skepticism? Did he look at them sideways for a little bit? Even if only to himself and to his closest advisors? Even more importantly...do you NOT think they had to go and "kiss the ring"?
There are consequences to your actions. This person made a decision to commit (on all but the highest level) to an organization and then realized that it was not the right choice. They are going to have to deal with the consequences of that decision.
* bait for anybody
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Post by Iceman on May 19, 2010 8:50:29 GMT -5
Generally speaking…..Considering the culture in Greekdom, I'd say it’s fine to change your mind and switch your interest to another Org….
As long as it’s done on your own, in your mind, and in private.
Once you make your interest known in a “public” manner, then switch gears right before game time and pick another team - It won’t be an attractive look when and if it’s made known. It’s really going to come down to the chapter of the new Org you decide to pursue, if they knew of your previous interest in another Org, and if they are fine with being your 2nd choice. For those in school, based on what I can remember from being on the yard, it may be a better look to observe carefully, research and figure it out before hand.
However, in the posters example, going Grad many years later may be a different situation. If the Grad chapter is in a different location, is not made up of any members who went to school with you and would remember your previous interests, your earlier choices as an undergrad may be something that never even comes up (and isn’t something you would need to disclose).
It really all comes down to the chapter. Good Luck.
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Post by Julie Art on May 19, 2010 15:52:22 GMT -5
@ Damie - I laughed out loud because my entire post was bait (although I was attempting to bait Juicy) LOL!! [/u] **Takes the bait because he's bored....also because he's contractually obligated to do so on at least 3 per month.**To Damie's analogy about the proposal...what happens if a woman had been married before? At some point, she had committed her life to one person. She was "one" with another man and made a vow to God that she would "love, honor, and cherish him....foresaking all others for as long as they both shall live". She "PLEDGED" that lifelong love to another man. Then they divorce....for whatever reason. .....should any man EVER give her a shot at marriage? Realistically....it's just a consequence of a decision the person made. Just like those who supported Hillary in the primary by talking bad about Barack and then ended up eating crow when he finally won. Take Jesse Jackson. He was a supreme hater and that hate was not based on issues. So as a civil rights leader (somewhat) *, a pro-Black advocate, a former presidental candidate, etc...he (and others) not only supported Hillary but they came out STRONG against Obama. Fast forward to primary elections...of course Obama will consolidate all Democrats and Progressive in order to win but do you think those people (negros who said some really f'ed up things about him) were actually invited into his circle? If so, was it without skepticism? Did he look at them sideways for a little bit? Even if only to himself and to his closest advisors? Even more importantly...do you NOT think they had to go and "kiss the ring"? There are consequences to your actions. This person made a decision to commit (on all but the highest level) to an organization and then realized that it was not the right choice. They are going to have to deal with the consequences of that decision. * bait for anybody [/quote] Underlined, lol! It didn't work  |
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Post by Cambist on May 20, 2010 6:49:00 GMT -5
LOL!! I know...
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Post by Troopa1911 on May 20, 2010 7:50:57 GMT -5
To answer the question originally asked...Yes!
Is it right...prolly not but hey what are you gonna do.
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Post by missb08 on May 21, 2010 23:02:20 GMT -5
I just know I thought that Capricornhorseman was a man before I read her profile. The end.
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Post by Elegance1913 on May 22, 2010 19:11:06 GMT -5
[quote author=damieque board=life thread=9358 post=285514 time=1274199852p.p.s. I hope you don't come up in here asking questions and just roll out. I hope you check out that General Section and Serious Section and offer some opinions and insights. Just because you're not Greek doesn't mean you don't have something to offer. We talk about all sorts of stuff up in here - not just Greek stuff [/color][/quote] Ahhhh...that was nice....exalt. |
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