My Friend The Atheist

[frozenmenace]

A lot has happened in my life in the last year, and one experience I had was becoming friends with a young lady who is a proud atheist. No one would have thought that she and I would be friends since we are polar opposites when it comes to God and religion. However, she has proven herself to be a beautiful person..inside and out. I have gained a lot of insight into the thoughts of an atheist by getting to know her. And she says that she admires my strong belief in God and the fact that I have not judged her and tried to "convert" her.

My question to those of you who believe in a higher power: Do you think that you could be good friends with someone who is an atheist? Why or why not?

[DamieQue™]

Mar 3, 2010 16:27:56 GMT -5 @frozenmenace said:

A lot has happened in my life in the last year, and one experience I had was becoming friends with a young lady who is a proud atheist. No one would have thought that she and I would be friends since we are polar opposites when it comes to God and religion. However, she has proven herself to be a beautiful person..inside and out. I have gained a lot of insight into the thoughts of an atheist by getting to know her. And she says that she admires my strong belief in God and the fact that I have not judged her and tried to "convert" her.

My question to those of you who believe in a higher power: Do you think that you could be good friends with someone who is an atheist? Why or why not?

Realistically, probably not. I know the "Kum Bah Yah" - Get-A-Long-Gang answer will be sure why not... but I am just realistic about who I am and what my experiences tell me. Most of the people I have had an occasion to talk to who were atheists (some IRL, some on net) are more intransigent, rigid, and dogmatic than the religious zealots they complain about. In fact, on inspection, most of the ones I have come in contact with have been religious zealots who have simply replaced God with Science as their deity.

Of the ones that I have talked to, their doctrine can't be questioned, failure to place unquestioning faith in science is heresey, and very rarely are they able to hide their outright contempt for what they presume is intellectual weakness, when others pray to an "invisible god". (A strange notion that something must be seen to be believed given that so many scientific experiments cannot be directly observed... but I digress)

I do not rule out the possibility that I could one day meet an atheist that was not pre-occupied with empricially proving to me that God doesn't exist, that was content, and intellectually indifferent about my belief in God. I'm just saying based on my experience, the likelihood of meeting someone like that is not good.

[frozenmenace]

I feel you Damie. My friend and I are opposites in a number of ways. She is white, I am black. I grow closer and closer to God every day, and she doesn't believe in God. She is a vegan, and I will tear up a pork chop! LOL! Yet we clicked from the moment we met. She said that she is used to "Christians" judging her and treating her like she's the devil. I treated her with love and respect. She returns the same to me.

[peppermint]

It may sound cliche but it's not. Truly one of my best friends is an atheist. We've been friends for about 17 years and it hasn't caused a conflict. Frozen, that mutual respect is essential.

[DamieQue™]

Mar 3, 2010 16:54:24 GMT -5 @frozenmenace said:

I feel you Damie. My friend and I are opposites in a number of ways. She is white, I am black. I grow closer and closer to God every day, and she doesn't believe in God. She is a vegan, and I will tear up a pork chop! LOL! Yet we clicked from the moment we met. She said that she is used to "Christians" judging her and treating her like she's the devil. I treated her with love and respect. She returns the same to me.

And I can understand that too. A zealot is a zealot, religious or atheist. The same way atheists don't appreciate people trying to convert them with Faith, Christians don't appreciate people trying to convert them with "consensus opinion" meant to serve as fact (i.e. this is what most scientist believe happened therefore it is true), or facts arrived at by way of induction (i.e. the data is consistent with a hypothetical model therefore it must be what happens).

Something Julie said earlier (in another thread) is what I believe in, you convert people by your actions not by lectures or debates. I do not feed the homeless because there is something innately good about me, I feed them because it is an expression of my belief in God and His tenants, and that my best witness of Him, is to have His tenants manifest as actions through me.

[LejaOMG]

Because my belief in God is so very much a part of who I am, an atheist may not be drawn to me. Everything I say and do is somehow a function of my faith. Heck, in a common conversation, I'll thrown in at least a score of "in the name of Jesus," "thank you, Lord," "so says the scripture," "I'mma pray on it,"God is so good" and similar addages to express my certitude that God is involved in everything we all (not just Christians) say and do. My theistic friends don't even notice. However, an atheist individual might get slightly annoyed if I'm constantly insisting that I don't even consider for a second that there could be a shred of redeeming value to their most basic belief about life. I know I wouldn't like it if it were me.

If anyone were as devout to atheism as I am to God, I don't see how we could have a meaningful friendship.

[frozenmenace]

Leja, I do the same. I talk about God and what He has done for me...and I say "Thank you, Jesus!" and she isn't phazed by it. I think she just appreciates the fact that I am accepting of who she is. I told her that I feel this is a problem with a lot of "Christians". How can we lead people to God if we are always judging and alienating them?

[Julie Art]

I haven't run across anyone who is atheist, but I have had a Muslim friend and we were respectful of each others religions. I'd think I'd be the same with an atheist.

[Vudu_Prince]

Yanno I went into an Atheist chatroom once on paltalk. It had to be atleast 50 of them. So I asked the question what was the fundamental reasoning behind not believing in a creator. Most of the time their arguments centered around the christian doctrine. I agreed with their sentiments BUT that doesn't mean a creator doesn't exist. I stated if you don't believe in a creator then you are stating everything spontaneously came into being. The argument then turns scientific where we can show that spontaneous generation is flawed logic. They eventually get frustrated. I end with telling them just because you came into the realization that the religions present are untrue doesn't mean a creator doesn't exist.

[T-Rex91]

My Dad was an Atheist, my Mom Baptist. It was never an issue because he never blocked my mother raising us in church. It didn't change his value system in terms of how he treated people. It just meant that prayer was worthless and when you died you decomposed and slept forever. It didn't interfere with my relationship with him so I don't see it as a big deal.

[Julie Art]

Outtie tryna be MatchMaker International again, lol!

[frozenmenace]

Mar 5, 2010 16:07:27 GMT -5 @nsync said:

Is she available? If so this might be the one for you Frozen..maybe...I see some connection there. I can feel radiance beaming from the computer screen as you speak of her.

Or could you not be romantically involved with an athiest?

I am curious to know what her stance is and why she choses athiesm over an OR or agnosticism?

I have been following some of the COEXIST boards on Facebook. Really blows my mind how confused we all are as humans. lol..but all least we try.

Mar 3, 2010 16:54:24 GMT -5 @frozenmenace said:

I feel you Damie. My friend and I are opposites in a number of ways. She is white, I am black. I grow closer and closer to God every day, and she doesn't believe in God. She is a vegan, and I will tear up a pork chop! LOL! Yet we clicked from the moment we met. She said that she is used to "Christians" judging her and treating her like she's the devil. I treated her with love and respect. She returns the same to me.

She has a live-in boyfriend. But even if she was single, she wouldn't be the one for me. For one, she's white. Second, while I can be friends with an atheist, I could not be in a relationship with one.

[denounced]

[Cambist]

I could be friends with an atheist. I actually have 2-3 friends who are atheistic.

All of us know what it's like to be an atheist since each of us are atheistic to other religions. To be a Christian and say that you don't believe in Allah or Vishnu or Buddah means that you (as far as those religions or beleifs are concerned) have no god at all. Or at BEST you believe in a false god. So.....

[DamieQue™]

Mar 8, 2010 12:06:23 GMT -5 Cambist said:

I could be friends with an atheist. I actually have 2-3 friends who are atheistic.

All of us know what it's like to be an atheist since each of us are atheistic to other religions. To be a Christian and say that you don't believe in Allah or Vishnu or Buddah means that you (as far as those religions or beleifs are concerned) have no god at all. Or at BEST you believe in a false god. So.....

I'm not sure this example works Cam. In fact, I think it doesn't even work if atheist are as I described, with them holding Science as God. Part of what I understand to be the atheist belief is based on chance and meaninglessness. Different religions may have different gods, but because they have a god or creator they do not assign the creation of the universe and the events therein to pure direction by cosmic chance. In their universe, there is no purpose to anything - and no meaning - only chance. That's a HUGE difference between theistic and atheistic beliefs.

[Cambist]

What i'm saying is not that you have no concept of God but that you know what it's like to call 'bullchyt' on someone's beliefs.

Christians can be tolerant of someone's beleifs and still believe that they are godless heathens who will burn in Hell for all eternity for not believing the way you do. And that's fine.

So we have to qualify what we mean by atheist. Someone who doesn't believe in a particular or set of particular worshipped beings can be termed an atheist. Also, someone who doesn't believe in devine order at all can be called an atheist. Often, what we call an atheist is typically agnostics.

[LejaOMG]

To clarify, I was speaking of atheists, not agnostics. Agnostics do not generally bother to disregard or disagree with the beliefs of others, they just note that for themselves, they are not willing to accept certain belief systems as wholly true or to regard others as wholly false.

I took some stock of my friends, and I believe they all know and love the same God I serve (be they Christian, Muslim, Jewish or Hindu). They may be at various levels of their spiritual development, but if any of them were to confess to me that they simply do not believe that God (capital G, whom I believe to be the only God deserving of worship) we couldn't be friends anymore. Ask me why if you care.

[Cambist]

I've found that most people who consider themselves atheists could more accurately be described as agnostic.

Problem is....I have a hard time seeing God as the anthropomorphic being described in the Bible. The "hand" of God...or to "see God's face" have never meant much to me. So it's hard for me to understand atheist since to put faith in science still means that you believe in order and to defer to chance means that you do still beleive in a higher power. Order and Chance can be systems...it's reaching but it's how I see the issue.

Agnostics? Really, I would classify many self-professesed Christians as agnostic.

[Mrs. Eyes]

Yes I can be friends with an atheist. Have before.

[LejaOMG]

Mar 8, 2010 16:20:23 GMT -5 Cambist said:

Agnostics? Really, I would classify many self-professesed Christians as agnostic.

As would I. I hope you take no offense to the fact that you are one of the first people who comes to mind when I think of this phenomenon.

[Cambist]

No offense taken. Some form of agnostic theism makes perfect sense to me and may very well apply.

[Vudu_Prince]

Mar 8, 2010 13:36:10 GMT -5 DamieQue™ said:

Mar 8, 2010 12:06:23 GMT -5 Cambist said:

I could be friends with an atheist. I actually have 2-3 friends who are atheistic.

All of us know what it's like to be an atheist since each of us are atheistic to other religions. To be a Christian and say that you don't believe in Allah or Vishnu or Buddah means that you (as far as those religions or beleifs are concerned) have no god at all. Or at BEST you believe in a false god. So.....

I'm not sure this example works Cam. In fact, I think it doesn't even work if atheist are as I described, with them holding Science as God. Part of what I understand to be the atheist belief is based on chance and meaninglessness. Different religions may have different gods, but because they have a god or creator they do not assign the creation of the universe and the events therein to pure direction by cosmic chance. In their universe, there is no purpose to anything - and no meaning - only chance. That's a HUGE difference between theistic and atheistic beliefs.

I have to slightly disagree that Atheist view science as God. Contrary to popular belief Science proves there has to be a creator. Again spontaneous generation being debunked proves that. When you really get to the core of an atheist more times than none they are inherently frusterated with the methods of spirituality available to them. Most times they have never thought outside of the box instead staying within it and stating it doesn't exist. Kinda ass backwards

[Highly Favored]

I don't really see myself being friend to an atheist. I could certainly be kind to them and show them love, but I don't know about friendship. I think we would be too different in our beliefs.

And a lot depends on how you define friend. I don't give that designation to just anyone, so I have very few people I actually call friend - even among those who are Christian and that I get along with. Just because we get along and have certain things in common doesn't make you my friend. On the other hand, I have lots of acquaintances.

[frozenmenace]

Mar 8, 2010 18:50:57 GMT -5 @nsync said:

I just found out someone I really admire is an athiest. I took the time out to ask her why she had chose such a path. She said she'd always believed that way. However like most her biggest complaints were about the judgemental nature of OR especially duhn duhn duhn...Christianity.

Christianity is not judgmental in nature..but many of the folk who claim to be Christians are. Anyone who has really studied the teachings of Christ knows that he was about love and mercy. Jesus himself stated "Judge not lest ye be judged". The problem is that many "Christians" believe the Bible gives them the right to judge. I don't agree. The Bible sets forth rules for us to follow. Whether or not we follow them is up to each of us individually. If I personally choose not to follow them, or if I fall short, the only one who can judge me is God. I don't pay attention to human beings who don't have a Heaven or a Hell to put me in! It took me realizing that the judgmental nature of mere humans doesn't matter, for me to return to Christianity. All that matters is my relationship with God.

As for the term "atheist", it basically means "Without God". So even if a follower of another religion worships a different God from mine, they still wouldn't be atheists because they do have a God. And it's not my place to judge them.