Why is it that......

[T-Rex91]

When folks look a hot mess on the red carpet, they get clowned but not the designer?

Weight is so easy to put on but so hard to take off?

[IvyByDesign]

workdays last forever and weekends are never long enough?

[Hummy Jones]

We have winter in the summer but have summer in the winter? *shrugs*

[Noble Work]

Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

[Sapphire]

bumpers

[Noble Work]

Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a
swimming pool? (My sentiments exactly!)

If the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the 'Jags' and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers
are known as the 'Bucs,' what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys
it?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree
surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here
for?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

At income tax time, did you ever notice:

When you put the two words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells...

'THEIRS'?

[InMyWorld]

They say it's better to give than to receive.... Who in the hayle are 'they'?


.....probably the people who are receiving

[Noble Work]

Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it.
So I said 'Implants?'
She hit me.

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ?

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.'

(I love this one)
Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference. Duck 4


Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!


Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison? Duck 4
A completely brillant question!!!!!!!

Wouldn't you know it.....
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?
Another completely brilliant question!!!!

Bumper sticker of the year:
'If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier'
This is a very special statement!!!!!!!!!

And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

[Oldskool]

...if one Greek org gets in trouble on a campus, another is sure to follow.....soon?