"He/She doesn't look or act like XYZ material"

[Iceman]

“He/She doesn’t look like or act like XYZ material…"

The above quote is something I recently heard another Greek say as it pertained to a certain aspirant’s physical appearance and perceived character traits. Mind you, this was spoken without said Greek ever speaking or getting to know this person. It was just based off outward observation alone.

So I wonder - Outside of someone obviously being intelligent and meeting all the qualifications on paper (which aren’t overly difficult to meet), do Greeks sometimes tend to only consider those types who fit the perceived mold of our specific Orgs or dare I say “stereotypes”?

Before they are even seriously considered for membership, do you think it's biased or unfair that the fate of a qualified aspirant is sealed if they simply don’t look or act the part (in terms of perception) as it pertains to your Org?

Or is that just one of those "Well, nobody said becoming Greek was gonna be easy" type of scenarios?

[T-Rex91]

I love this thread!

Absolutely, the official requirements fit most folks. You can be intelligent and scrape up some letters and still be a fool!

I remember in undergrad I was attending a party at a restaurant and there were these two girls dancing on the bar with drinks in their hands. When someone whispered in my ear that one of them was an aspirant, I immediately said "over my dead body, <XYZ> chapter members don't conduct themselves". Well turns out her Mom was president of a large grad chapter so she made it in but I never forgot that first impression. She perpetuated the "party" image we have and proved to be damn near worthless on the service side.

Yes, I feel compelled to "protect" my org as much as I can from people who I feel will sully the image and reputation. Is it fair to X folk from first impressions? No, but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. We didn't as much discriminate physically (I had a white soror, a homecoming queen, some beauties, some dogs, etc in my chapter) as we tended to shun those with no leadership potential.

[Oldskool]

Oct 2, 2009 11:14:51 GMT -5 Iceman said:

“He/She doesn’t look like or act like XYZ material…"

The above quote is something I recently heard another Greek say as it pertained to a certain aspirant’s physical appearance and perceived character traits. Mind you, this was spoken without said Greek ever speaking or getting to know this person. It was just based off outward observation alone.

So I wonder - Outside of someone obviously being intelligent and meeting all the qualifications on paper (which aren’t overly difficult to meet), do Greeks sometimes tend to only consider those types who fit the perceived mold of our specific Orgs or dare I say “stereotypes”?

Before they are even seriously considered for membership, do you think it's biased or unfair that the fate of a qualified aspirant is sealed if they simply don’t look or act the part (in terms of perception) as it pertains to your Org?

Or is that just one of those "Well, nobody said becoming Greek was gonna be easy" type of scenarios?

C'mon Ice, how many times have you heard some male Greek members say, "He looks gay, we ain't gon let him in." We all get caught up in stereotypes, sad, but true.
I said myself, many years ago, that I DIDN'T want to be a member of XYZ because of a certain stereotype.
How many times have we given a *look* to someone who we thought wasn't dressed properly for church? We do it all the time out of habit.

[Robelite]

Oksana said it best....that's simply the nature of the beast as it relates to what most of
us feel like a particular org's aspirants should look/act/dress/speak like.

It'll be that way until the end of time.

[Julie Art]

Co-sign with Rob and Oksana. We all do it in some shape, form, or fashion. I've said hell naw to girls who were pissy sloppy drunk at parties, were known as campus sluts, etc., no matter how high their GPA was. It is what it is.

[adisa]

No, I'm not a Kappa.

[**Dea**]

Everybody ISN'T XYZ material!! Sounds harsh but once you cross, are born, or whatever the entrance terminology for your org may be you are from then on a representation of your organization. It is the call for members to not only know what is needed not only in your chapter but in your org as a whole and welcome women/men of that caliber or those that exhibit the qualities that can be shaped and molded into a person of said caliber.

[FatalDST]

it is what it is.. i know a few ladies i wouldnt recomment for ANY greek orgs.. unfortunately, one is already a soror, the other are my OES sisters..

[Comedy]

I agree.

Oct 7, 2009 10:01:12 GMT -5 Julie Art said:

Co-sign with Rob and Oksana. We all do it in some shape, form, or fashion. I've said hell naw to girls who were pissy sloppy drunk at parties, were known as campus sluts, etc., no matter how high their GPA was. It is what it is.

[Comedy]

Girl, it's all about the $$$. If you have the money most chapters, lodges, temples have the time.

Oct 7, 2009 22:07:36 GMT -5 **Dea** said:

Everybody ISN'T XYZ material!! Sounds harsh but once you cross, are born, or whatever the entrance terminology for your org may be you are from then on a representation of your organization. It is the call for members to not only know what is needed not only in your chapter but in your org as a whole and welcome women/men of that caliber or those that exhibit the qualities that can be shaped and molded into a person of said caliber.

[Comedy]

Don't you just hate this?

Oct 8, 2009 13:08:39 GMT -5 FatalDST said:

it is what it is.. i know a few ladies i wouldnt recomment for ANY greek orgs.. unfortunately, one is already a soror, the other are my OES sisters..

[Iceman]

Good comments everyone

I can dig it and agree about that being the norm for most Greeks when observing aspirants from afar. In the interest of safeguarding our Org’s, it would certainly be unwise to turn a blind eye to the questionable or erratic behavior of an aspirant.

But I guess I’m asking if it’s always right for us Greeks to expect people to conform to what we think they should be if they are considering our specific Org? For example - Do we have a hard time accepting a qualified aspirants individuality even if they have a different character or temperament than those who our chapters would “normally” invite to pledge or vote in? Not looking for a definitive answer – Was just curious to see what people thought…

[mrknowitall]

I understand where you are coming from but we have to keep in mind that the STANDARD had already been set before we were initiated! I do not necessarily see it as conforming, but I see it as upholding the principles and character of our organization that has been around for 100+/- years.

On the other hand, we live in a society where it seems people go great lengths to prove their individuality and to go against the cultural norm. I remember in college, we had a difficult time trying to get some Bruhs just to where shirts and ties and let the durags go. Their whole sentiment was, "This is me, this is who I am and I'm keepin' it real!" We live in a visually stimulated society; our first "sights" are what shape our perception of anyone.


If individuals are so concerned with self, then why on earth would they want to join a fraternity/sorority where it is expected or you to be "self" aside for the betterment of the group as a whole? I mean isn't that a concept that is supposed to be taught during the intake process?

[Bathroom Model]

Oct 15, 2009 11:09:34 GMT -5 mrknowitall said:

I understand where you are coming from but we have to keep in mind that the STANDARD had already been set before we were initiated! I do not necessarily see it as conforming, but I see it as upholding the principles and character of our organization that has been around for 100+/- years.

On the other hand, we live in a society where it seems people go great lengths to prove their individuality and to go against the cultural norm. I remember in college, we had a difficult time trying to get some Bruhs just to where shirts and ties and let the durags go. Their whole sentiment was, "This is me, this is who I am and I'm keepin' it real!" We live in a visually stimulated society; our first "sights" are what shape our perception of anyone.


If individuals are so concerned with self, then why on earth would they want to join a fraternity/sorority where it is expected or you to be "self" aside for the betterment of the group as a whole? I mean isn't that a concept that is supposed to be taught during the intake process?

Excatly. if your such and individual don't join a group.

[Blues Clues]

Hey Yall...my 19.20 cents..

okay, the way I look at it is that most people would say someone looks like a certain org because of the people that so called represent the org...for example, I was approached to join XYZ but chose not to because of the people who were in the org itself...bad thing to say...yes, but in all honesty, I agree with all the platforms for all the BGL sororities, and it simply came down to how the chapter operates and how the members interacted with each other...

I also believe that many orgs get bad names from disgruntled people who probably made an attempt to join and was shot down..."Oh, those fat ass Zetas think they could hold me down", or "those damn stuck up AKAs, I will show them", or even "Those whorish Deltas"....(sorry, no SGRhos in my hood!!)

But to get back to the topic, NO ONE LOOKS LIKE ANY ORGANIZATION....The founders did not include in the listing of qualifications that you should weigh a certain amount, or you should be light skinned with long hair......It was (and should always be) about your education, community services, and want for self development.