Advice

[msurbana]

okay folks I need advice for my friends. This is not one of those cases where it's about me, but Im trying to disguise it. LOL

This is truly about real people. I have tried to help them, but I feel like I am too biased. Maybe all of you can help.

Please offer advice and counter advice at your leisure.

Thanks.

[Gee-Are]

brush your teeth 2x daily

-a dentist

[msurbana]

Case 1#


I have a friend who was dating a guy for a few months. After awhile she realized he was not the guy for her. She told him she did not want to move forward. He wanted them to try to be friend instead, but she felt like he could not handle how things had turned out for them. One day she decided to cut him off totally.
He began to call her and text her non-stop.

My advice: Give it a month he will stop, but DO NOT answer any of his calls or texts.


What happened: a month and a week later dude is still calling now from private numbers and even his nephew's cell phone. LOL


So what do you all think she should do? She is thinking about changing her number, but she really doesn't want to. Also she has considered trying to be his friend again.


What do you all suggest?

[msurbana]

LMAO!! I posted the first case.

ghost said:

brush your teeth 2x daily

-a dentist

[msurbana]

Case #2

Friend has a guy at work that seemed to be checking her out. Week after week he'd look her up and down an+ smile. Finally they were alone together and he struck up conversation. She was happy and felt that things were starting to finally move along. The day after, he sees her and barely speaks. For the next few weeks he barely muffles a hi. Friend is upset. She doesn't understand why he was distant.

My advice: Uh get over it. Plus he sounds like weirdo. Hot then very cold. Move on girl.

What Happend: Last week dude sees her in passing and asks her where she's been hiding. Friend is now completely and utterly confused, but she plays it off and talks to him anyway. Today she tells me she went out of her way to say hi, because she was feeling frustrated by his actions. She says he basically brushed her off.
She wants to know what is going through his mind.

I think he has a twin. LMAO!!!

What do you all think?

[BrnSuga]

Case #1: She should answer one of his calls just to set him straight. She should tell him that she thought he understand what she meant when she said that they didn't need to be together but, obviously he's confused. She should ask him nicely to stop calling her and let him know that if it continues, she will report him to the police for harassing her via phone. As far as being friends, dude sounds crazy. I wouldn't want to be his friend.

Case #2: Dude is fickle and she needs to leave that alone!

[msurbana]

Thanks Brn!!! I was thinking similar things. Friend two REALLY needs to let it be. They are just coworkers IMO unless there is something I don't know about.

[Bunny Hop]

Case #1: do not become his friend. dude has some stalker characteristics with all that calling and texting. her being his friend again might say to him "oh she still likes me and wants to be with me" and hell get worse. I'd change the number.

Case #2: is your friend in Nashville? Lol...he sounds like the dude I just stopped talking to. I'd say leave it alone. He's playing cat and mouse games and he knows exactly what he's doing. Unless your friend likes that kind of stuff it's a waste of time and she should just keep it professional.

[msurbana]

Thanks Bunny! So you think she SHOULD change the number (friend 1). I have been telling her otherwise. I am soooooo nervouseabout THIS advice especially, because dude HONESTLY sounds crazy. One reason why she stop dealing with him is because she said he was very controlling and she thought he might become abusive.

Maybe she should just change it all together.


(second friend) I will pass it along. However I think she really is attracted to him, because any sign of interest she is back on the wagon.
Thanks.

[BrnSuga]

I agree that Friend #1 should change her number and the first sign of him getting crazy she needs to get a restraining order QUICK!!!!

[msurbana]

I mentioned a possible restraining order, but I think she feels that may be over the top. At this point he is not going away. If he hasn't stop calling in a month her wont. And then to use a child's cell phone??? That's crazy.

[MochaD]

Case #1: Let dude know he is one txt msg. away from a restraining order. It worked for me.

Case #2: Ignore his azz even if he does speak first. TWO can play that game. Men that are interested don't like to be ignored. Secondly, he seems VERY immature (she may want to rethink being interested in him at all). However, if he's truly sincere he would get the hint and stop playing games.

[msurbana]

Thanks. Yeah maybe a quit threat will work. Not sure. He seems persistent in a crazy kinda way.

2. Hmmmn...you raise great points. I think she needs to ignore him to permenantly.

[msurbana]

Update:
Friend 1 answered the phone and talked to dude. She told him to stop calling. He suckered her into at least remaining in contact every now again.
Thanks for yall help.

I personally think she should still change her number.

[BKupInHere]

Outtie/MsUrbana: your friend has made a HORRIBLE mistake. He will be stalking her (if he hasnt already). Anyone who calls from a child's phone has a disconnection in his cranium.

#2 she should ignore him...that guy's a contol freak of another kind! Who wants to be friends with anyone who dictates when we converse (or dont converse).

[Bunny Hop]

Please tell friend #1 to keep be very aware of her surroundings. That dude sounds really off. Does she ever see him in public?

[msurbana]

You are so right. I am actually mad at her in her decision, but I rarely judge my friends. I just hope she knows what she is doing. Dude is off. I KNEW if she answered that phone she would give in. That's why I didnt want her to.. Dah well. Her life. I hope she can handle his contant harrassing, because now that's she's given him to go ahead to contact her again--it's gonna be almost everyday.


I haven't talked to friend 2 yet, but wewill see if she fairs better. LOL I never thought of him being a control freak, but that's a good way to look at it. I honestly thought he had a twin. LOL

[msurbana]

To my knowledge there is no reason why they SHOULD run into each other unless they planned to do so.
One good thing (my golden rule) she never brought him back to her home, because they were just in the early stages of dating. They dated for awhile and mostly went out and I think she was over his place. So I think that drove him even more crazy because he couldn't access her physically. That's why he went overdrive on the phone.

She also told me he asked could she just go away with him for a few days to talk about it. LOL

This isn't funny, but sometimes I really sit down and wonder what gets folks to that point?

Crack.

bunnyhop said:

Please tell friend #1 to keep be very aware of her surroundings. That dude sounds really off. Does she ever see him in public?

[Blu]

Tell friend #1 to rent the movie FEAR

[Bunny Hop]

Oh that's a good thing. I was wondering about that. He seems like someone who would drive by your house and job.

about #2 there are a lot of guys like that. It's a tug of war game. I can't stand that! You like me when I'm not showing you attention and then when you get a little attention you pull away. a mess, lol.

[msurbana]

Wait. I think I have that in my collection. But it's probably a VHS. LOLOLOL

Im seriously going to tell her....she needs much inspiration to cut him off totally.

bluapostle said:

Tell friend #1 to rent the movie FEAR

[regaldefined]

msurbana said:

Case 1#


I have a friend who was dating a guy for a few months. After awhile she realized he was not the guy for her. She told him she did not want to move forward. He wanted them to try to be friend instead, but she felt like he could not handle how things had turned out for them. One day she decided to cut him off totally.
He began to call her and text her non-stop.

My advice: Give it a month he will stop, but DO NOT answer any of his calls or texts.


What happened: a month and a week later dude is still calling now from private numbers and even his nephew's cell phone. LOL


So what do you all think she should do? She is thinking about changing her number, but she really doesn't want to. Also she has considered trying to be his friend again.


What do you all suggest?

Number Change or Dude Change?

Change the number it all stops.
Get a dude to answer the phone and threaten to beat his A$$!

Is this board language monitored?

[coldfront06]

Case #2- He probably has a girl. How he reacts toward your friend might depend on how things are going with his girl. Things are going great, he ignores that trick (LOL). Things not going so well, he speaks to her.

[Can - Do]

coldfront06 said:

Case #2- He probably has a girl. How he reacts toward your friend might depend on how things are going with his girl. Things are going great, he ignores that trick (LOL). Things not going so well, he speaks to her.

Interesting.

I just love the simplicity and honesty of men sometimes.

[Can - Do]

Case #1: Although I think I read that she answered his call. She needs to leave him alone. No call, email, nothing. I'm sure she's already explained to him her decision, no its time to just leave him alone.

Someone mentioned having a dude answer her phone. If dude is really off his rocker that will only hype him up more.

Case #2: Just ignore him. She prolly likes him and thats why she continues this lil game. But we alway say...A man will make time for what he wants. He doesn't want her.