Dying Young....

[Versatile]

If you don't mind sharing....

How did they die?
Was it unexpected it?
How do you feel about it now?
Are you still mourning?
How did you deal with it and how did you (IF you did) "move on"?

I'm dealing with the one year anniversary of a friend's passing so bare with me if you will

[Bunny Hop]

I know 3 people...two were my friends. all died in the first month of my senior year of high school. I went to middle school with all of them and then we all went to different high schools.

Stephanie died on the second day of our senior year. She went to a school on the north side and was riding home with a guy and a another girl(Tiffany) who lived on our side of town. He tried to pass a semi or something and ended up getting in a really bad accident. Stephanie died on impact, the guy lived and Tiffany died at the hospital. That's not something I expected to hear on the 2nd day of what is supposed to be one of the best years of your life.

Trap (travis) was my play big brother. He was a freshman in college and had heart problems and couldn't play basketball anymore. The night of his birthday (september 16) he had a heart attack. They said they were in the club and he went outside because he wasn't feeling good. I don't know if they went with him and he fell out or they went outside and found him.

Both of their deaths were hard on a lot of young people in Atlanta at the time. It was on the news and in the newspaper a lot. They were really good people and because of the schools they went to and the fact that Stephanie played tennis and Trap played basketball they were popular. That set the tone for my senior year because I think I was depressed the whole year. There was a lot of death that year. I kept thinking that I would be next and that it would come anyday.

Being young and losing young people is extremely hard. I don't think I'll ever get over it or move on. I just came to accept it and got to a point where I smile when I think about them. I wish I could go home and see them. Stephanie and Trap would have been those friends that you can not talk to for 6 months and when you finally do there are no hard feelings and things are just the same.


It'll take time because it's such a hard thing to deal with especially depending on the circumstances surrounding their deaths. Just try and focus on the good and don't be afraid to cry because it is helpful. I also say talk to someone if you if you can. I wish I had done that. I probably would have come out of that year much better.


((((HUGS))))

[regaldefined]

So many I know who have passed before their time.
So much death, I am kind of numb to it all ya know.
there has been carnage death and unexplained and accidental all kinds, but it was all death.

How I deal with death in general is I say to myself its inevitable. Its often unexplained and when its not unexplainable its unbearable, but its inevitable and because of that I just tell myself its necessary just like life and not to mourn but celebrate those who no longer have to deal with this life.

[QueenOH]

versatile said:

If you don't mind sharing....

How did they die? Car accident, Shot by Father, UnknownWas it unexpected it? Yes
How do you feel about it now? Sad
Are you still mourning? Nope
How did you deal with it and how did you (IF you did) "move on"? I remeber that they are in a better place with no more pain
I'm dealing with the one year anniversary of a friend's passing so bare with me if you will

[Sista08]

If you don't mind sharing....

How did they die? Very stupid, negligent car accident
Was it unexpected it? Totally
How do you feel about it now? ok, it was like 12 years ago, and she was able to give life to others by donating her organs.
Are you still mourning? Not really
How did you deal with it and how did you (IF you did) "move on"? Back then the school was there to support us.

If you don't mind sharing....

How did they die? A victim of road rage
Was it unexpected it? Totally
How do you feel about it now? Still kinda bad
Are you still mourning? Yep, everytime I see a picture our UG gang or her daughter
How did you deal with it and how did you (IF you did) "move on"? The rest of the gang supported eachother. Now I just realize that life isnt fair and sometimes it sucks. I focus on making each day and each interaction worth something.

[Versatile]

Thank you for the responses.

My friend was killed by a drunk driver last winter.

An UNDERAGED drunk driver with a SUSPENDED license.

She was leaving to study abroad in Europe the next day and was soooo excited.

She was the most vivacious, wonderful person. She reallllly LOVED life. Like, this chick enjoyed going to class. Her death has motivated me to make the most of every second because I know if she had this time, she would.

[Champs Elysees]

(((((HUGS))))) to you all.

Verse, you know the numba.

[Sista08]

Sorry to hear that. Ill keep you and her family in my prayers.

[FatalDST]

too many ppl... the hood is bananas...

[Bunny Hop]

versatile said:

Thank you for the responses.

My friend was killed by a drunk driver last winter.

An UNDERAGED drunk driver with a SUSPENDED license.

She was leaving to study abroad in Europe the next day and was soooo excited.

She was the most vivacious, wonderful person. She reallllly LOVED life. Like, this chick enjoyed going to class. Her death has motivated me to make the most of every second because I know if she had this time, she would.

Something similar happened to one of the Tigerbelles (TSU's ladies track team). A drunk hispanic guy ran a light and hit her. I didn't know her but it was just so sad. They showed December graduation on tv where they gave her family her degree and I almost cried...I didn't know the school did that.

[Worthy Most Ancient Matron]

Man, I knew WAY to many people who died young, but one is the most troubling to me.
How did they die? A heart attack
Was it unexpected it? yes
How do you feel about it now? very sad and very depressed
Are you still mourning? although it was 2 1/2 years ago, i mourn every day, but it gets especially hard around the birthday and death anniversary
How did you deal with it and how did you (IF you did) "move on"? I am not dealing with it very well and I have not moved on and don't think I can :-( I visit their grave everytime I go back to my hometown.

[AlphaMale]

To be honest, I've never expected to live that long myself. I've felt like this my whole life. I see myself being violently killed when I'm middle aged. I just hope that I get to lead a life that God and I can be proud of.

[Fraternal Design]

How did they die? Asthma attack

Was it unexpected it? Very much so. He was ten and I was seven

How do you feel about it now? From time to time I wonder what he'd be like as an adult.

Are you still mourning? No, But I do get sad sometimes when I see his mom. She was never the same.

How did you deal with it and how did you (IF you did) "move on"? It scarred me for quite a while. I learned that you NEVER wake a child up with bad news. *whoa, I just really had a vivid flashback* And I will not let my children attend wakes or funerals unless they really want to go.


*****

How did they die? Car accident.

Was it unexpected it? Yes -- she was only 25. (Most of my friends know this story)

How do you feel about it now? I miss her extraordinarily.

Are you still mourning? Yes. I don't think about her every day as I once did, but I miss her all the same.

How did you deal with it and how did you (IF you did) "move on"? I cried a LOT. I also came to the realization that it wasn't "death" itself that I was sad about -- death is inevitable and a transition to be celebrated in some sense. But what was truly sad was the understanding that I would never see her again, not in this realm at least.

I also tell people I love them with a lot more ease. I don't care how the other person feels about the phrase "I love you" -- I could die tomorrow or they could. I don't want anyone to leave from here without knowing that I loved them.

[Versatile]

Thanks to all those who posted and/or voted. It's appreciated!