My mentoring woes

[Champs Elysees]

This is an old discussion from OO, but oh well.

I am "mentoring" at a shcool full of high-risk kids. My student is 14 in the seventh grade and is preparing to take the fifth grade FCAT.

She is not a good reader and her comprehension sucks. She received failing grades (Ds and Fs and maybe one C) on her progress report and I'm scared to ask her about her report card.

One Sat. we were working on her science project and I took her to my alma mater to see what a college looks like (a gross violation of the rules). This was the first time she'd ever been on the campus (as popular is this school is in our community). She was excited and fascinated about the university. Later, we went to the local public library. This was her first time going there, too.


This week is the beginning of the mentoring season at the school and I was just informed that we can only mentor 45 minutes a week!!!

These kids need more than 45 minutes! They say it's because they have to pull the students out of class, but they aren't learning because the teachers have to spend the entire class period telling the bastards to shut up!

This is really pissing me off!

If I hadn't already commimmited to this kid (who is still woefully unmotivated and not even trying) and had other activities going, I'd holla.

Does anyone know how I can get her more interested in school? Taking her to community events and spending time with her is good, but if she doesn't want to do better, then she's not.

[QUIET As Kept]

honestly lady, if she got that excited going to campus and the library, it sounds like she just hasn't been exposed to anything to know there IS something better. Maybe showing her more will help open the door for her shool work. Like, take her to see the fun stuff on campus, but then also take her to sit in on a class to show that those same students who were kickin it on the Set are also in class studying. Or even maybe use some of the stuff she likes to do as a reward if she does better in school

*disclaimer*
this is all theory, so it may not really work

[Search1906]

Lady my experience is that kids respond when you gain their trust and feel people are invested in them. They get so much of th we care rhetoric that is seldom backed up by action. I agree 45 mins isn't nearly enough time. I would take time and really think about how much you are able/want to invest in this child because it will be a committment. The child needs a mindset change. Like many others it seems she has thrown in the towel like many kids because they don't see college and other opportunities as viable and attainable options. I always start off my talks in schools with a synopsis of where I came from and the obstacles I had to overcome. I came from a single parent home in the innercity where my neighborhood was rampant with crime. Many of my friends were dead, in jail or hustling before I graduated highschool. Crackheads, dealers and the like were commonplace in my hood but the standard of excellence was still instilled by my parents despite the environment. Everyone doesn't have that but kids need to know that there are those who have overcome all they are dealing with and then some. Sadly a lot of us who have don't go back and share. We act like it never happened and bask in out success. I applaud what you are doing and encourage you to continue. Some people plant the seed, others waters them and others reap the harvest. You may be the planter or waterer and someone else will be their for the harvest when the light clicks for the student.

[Champs Elysees]

She was excited that day, but I can't hold her hand while she's in class to make her listen rather than sleep.

She appears to only take interest in anything when I'm around. She needs some intirnsic motivation and I don't know how to foster that.

My theory is that if children are taught from an early age to value education and do well, that they will probably develop habits to support these teachings (negative environmental factors notwithstanding). I also believe that students who aren't pushed to do well early soon fall by the wayside and more often than not, they never catch up. It's too late to try to bend a 14 year-old tree.

[QUIET As Kept]

that's why I was saying, make those opportunities that she likes a reward for improving in school...that could be her motivation

*again, I don't have any statistics or anything to back this up...just my thoughts*

[Search1906]

Yeah I can dig what both of you are saying Quiet and Lady. Its a sad situation. My son (he's 2) will know that college is not and option the only option is which one he is going to.

[Champs Elysees]

The reason I'm becoming so ambivalent about this situation is because my little cuz in Tampa comes from a disadvantaged background (momma was a skrippa and daddy is a sissy) and she is a student-athlete with great grades and hopes of being a singer.

She got in to a magnet high school there, but wants to move back here, but knows that her momma isn't in the condition to adequately take care of her younger brother.

Although her momma and daddy are bums, she did have extended family (her great-grandmother and aunt, my grandmother, etc.) to guide her and and mold her when she was younger, so she has motivation and is very mature for her age (13). I will do anything I can to help her as long as she helps herself.

Deep down, I feel like she would benefit more from me than my student.