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Post by Coldfront06 on Apr 2, 2012 14:02:46 GMT -5
Background: This weekend, I met a good friend's husband for the first time. We all went out for drinks, and dude was obviously flirting with our waitress (she was fine though lol). He asked her if she was single, if she would take him home if he got too drunk, basically held a conversation with her every time she came to our table. At one point, she bent over near him to pick something up and he told her to shake it like a salt shaker. My friend remained silent, but if looks could kill his family would be eating chicken today.
Question: How would you handle this situation? How would you handle obvious flirting in your presence? Harmless or disrespectful?
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Post by LejaOMG on Apr 2, 2012 14:09:04 GMT -5
... but if looks could kill his family would be eating chicken today. Cold's posts always have a hilarious easter egg buried inside...and I never make it all the way through to the call of the question, smh. Eating chicken though? |
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Post by DamieQue™ on Apr 2, 2012 14:14:42 GMT -5
... but if looks could kill his family would be eating chicken today. Cold's posts always have a hilarious easter egg buried inside...and I never make it all the way through to the call of the question, smh. Eating chicken though? |
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Post by Chal™ on Apr 2, 2012 14:18:31 GMT -5
Background: This weekend, I met a good friend's husband for the first time. We all went out for drinks, and dude was obviously flirting with our waitress (she was fine though lol). He asked her if she was single, if she would take him home if he got too drunk, basically held a conversation with her every time she came to our table. At one point, she bent over near him to pick something up and he told her to shake it like a salt shaker. My friend remained silent, but if looks could kill his family would be eating chicken today. Question: How would you handle this situation? How would you handle obvious flirting in your presence? Harmless or disrespectful? Your friend's husband was out of line. Period. How would you handle this situation? I want to say that I would wait until we were alone and "strongly discuss" the issue, but then again, I was brought up on some "where you clown is where you get it" type ish. I would not have just sat there looking mad, though. SOMETHING would have been said. How would you handle obvious flirting in your presence? Some flirting is harmless. And [some] harmless flirting is ok. But straight up blatant disrespectful type ish? Nah. Son should know off top that this is definitely not that. |
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Post by QueenOH on Apr 2, 2012 14:25:49 GMT -5
I would have had a conversation with him after the first time. I wouldn't have yelled but it would have been some strong words coming out my mouth in a quiet corner.
If he continued then someone would need to call the ambulance because he wanted to learn his lesson the hard way
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Post by Coldfront06 on Apr 2, 2012 14:46:50 GMT -5
Cold's posts always have a hilarious easter egg buried inside...and I never make it all the way through to the call of the question, smh. Eating chicken though? ALWAYS. |
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Post by LejaOMG on Apr 2, 2012 15:04:25 GMT -5
Ok, I went back and read. I believe in my heart that I would say aloud and in a direct and assertive manner, "Please stop blatantly flirting with the server. You're being rude. And it's offensive." Some stuff you shouldn't have to say, but when you do...I say, get it said.
No need for me to cause a scene, afterall he's the one being inappropriate. I shouldn't feel embarassed, he should. I'm thinking anybody who's married to ME would already know that, but I wouldn't think once (let alone twice) about giving him a quick reminder. If he throws a tantrum thereafter--or, more likely, pretends he doesn't know what I'm talking about I would become slightly more irritated. I might repeat myself once more "sweetheart, I'm serious. I'm asking you to cut it out." If I was truly offended beyond that point, I would just excuse myself from the table.
btw, I agree w/Chal. Where you clown is where you get it. There's no keeping quiet and waiting til we get home to "discuss." Yes, there are some things that should stay in-house so I may not be all "see? that's why I can't never take you nowhere. Is that what you and your triflin homeboys were out doing last night? Is that why yo azz jumped right in the shower when you came home?" (lol) That convo can take place later, if at all. But yeah, I'm speaking up.
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Post by Coldfront06 on Apr 2, 2012 15:24:52 GMT -5
It was so bad that I wanted to do or say something to help, but I stay out of married folks business. Now that I think about it, there was a moment when we were all discussing a local club and my friend mentioned that she and I had gone on a date there once. I wonder if that was her attempt to assert herself or get some get-back.
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Post by Gee-Are on Apr 2, 2012 16:06:17 GMT -5
It was so bad that I wanted to do or say something to help, but I stay out of married folks business. Now that I think about it, there was a moment when we were all discussing a local club and my friend mentioned that she and I had gone on a date there once. I wonder if that was her attempt to assert herself or get some get-back. If your relationship with the woman was ever like that and dude knew that going into the night, it could have very well been the reason he was acting out. Bring a ni**a out on a threesome date with me? Ok...bet... First honey I see is getting the business. The waitress probably coulda looked like  and still got hit on... I'm just sayin... |
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Post by Kyng of JDs on Apr 2, 2012 16:15:57 GMT -5
*Vomits profusely*
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Post by ReignMan19 on Apr 2, 2012 16:18:57 GMT -5
deceased.
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Post by ShimmeringSTAR on Apr 2, 2012 16:35:18 GMT -5
I like the "where you clown is where you get it" like children..lol
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Post by 123Diva on Apr 2, 2012 21:19:26 GMT -5
I probably would have said something then and there if it was really that bad. Or just walked off, and told him to enjoy the rest of his evening.
If it was flirting to a lesser degree, I'd handle it in private afterwards.
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Post by Coach on Apr 3, 2012 10:30:49 GMT -5
The bluntness of his actions is what stands out to me. As someone said before, I wouldn't be surprise if Cold's presence at dinner prompt dude to act out.
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Post by LejaOMG on Apr 3, 2012 10:34:40 GMT -5
Either way, I am very comfortable excusing myself from a situation that I find distasteful. At this point in my life, I am unlikely to put up with things that bother me for an extended time. I can only change myself, so if it's all like that I can just leave. No worries.
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Post by Coldfront06 on Apr 3, 2012 11:13:39 GMT -5
The bluntness of his actions is what stands out to me. As someone said before, I wouldn't be surprise if Cold's presence at dinner prompt dude to act out. I honestly don't think she'd told him anything about "us" beforehand, judging from his reaction. He seemed genuinely shocked to find out that we had hung out. Not that she really had a reason to tell...we never so much as held hands, lol. I really think she was trying to put a little bit on it to piss him off. And from talking to other people who know the guy, it seems that's just how he is. |
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Post by LejaOMG on Apr 3, 2012 11:22:25 GMT -5
shrugs. she married him.
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Post by Coldfront06 on Apr 3, 2012 11:32:59 GMT -5
I don't tolerate feeling disrespected well...I once left a girl in a club because we went together, and she spent a little too much time dancing with another dude. I did warn her that I would leave...guess she didn't believe me.
I also walked out on a Valentine's Day dinner with a girlfriend once. She was having a phone conversation with an ex, so I left enough money to pay the bill and bounced.
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Post by ReignMan19 on Apr 3, 2012 12:06:02 GMT -5
I don't tolerate feeling disrespected well...I once left a girl in a club because we went together, and she spent a little too much time dancing with another dude. I did warn her that I would leave...guess she didn't believe me. I also walked out on a Valentine's Day dinner with a girlfriend once. She was having a phone conversation with an ex, so I left enough money to pay the bill and bounced. I would have done the same in both instances. These broads are bold. |
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Post by LejaOMG on Apr 3, 2012 12:22:01 GMT -5
Now that y'all mention it, I DID bounce on a date one time. Dude was kinda famous and he kept running into people he knew at the restaurant (even though we were seated and minding our business and were clearly on a date). I tried not to hold it against him, because it's not like he was doing anything overt to seek the attention. At any rate, he excused himself to go the restroom and while he was gone I decided to go too. As I headed to the back of lounge area (where the restrooms were) I saw him dancing with a chick on the dancefloor! I don't think I was pissed, but I remember thinking "oh word? oh aight, then." LOL. I shot him the deuce and left without a word. I didn't see any reason to put up with that. I considered it blatant disrespect.
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Post by Chal™ on Apr 3, 2012 14:03:37 GMT -5
Bouncing on dates? Oh yea, tha kid has that one covered.
There was the "all about me" cat, and the "favor for a friend" cat. Then there's the "give daddy a kiss" cat. Oh, I can't forget the "I know I said I wasn't married but the woman headed to the table is my wife" cat.
Yea. I've totally bounced on a few.
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Post by ReignMan19 on Apr 3, 2012 14:18:03 GMT -5
dang.. I can say thankfully i haven't had any incredible foolywang pop off on dates...
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Post by ReignMan19 on Apr 3, 2012 14:19:27 GMT -5
that chick who sat on the phone with her Ex while on a Vday date..... that's the most disrespectful ish I ever heard.
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Post by LejaOMG on Apr 3, 2012 14:38:02 GMT -5
Not to hijack but... "ex" is a funny term. If pressed, I might have to admit that, at some point in the past, I've done something past platonic with a solid percentage of my current male friends. It could've been YEARS ago, under an entirely different set of circumstances. It doesn't make us "exes" and doesn't mean that either of us pose any present threat to our respective relationship situations. More than once I've had a perfectly good male friend say "my girl said we can't kick it no more, y'know, cause of what went on back in the day; it makes her uncomfortable..." Umm,  . Just because it's behind us, doesn't mean we're ashamed of it. Acknowledgment isn't necessarily nostalgia (or as T.I. put it, "in no way should reflection be mistaken for glorification.") I say all that to say, when I hear folks say "my man spends too much time with his ex! That's unacceptable!" I usually wonder about that person's present role in spite of their past one. |
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Post by ReignMan19 on Apr 3, 2012 14:41:53 GMT -5
being on the phone with anybody during a date is disrespectful... I kinda see what you are saying.. but naw she was disrespectful..
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Post by LejaOMG on Apr 3, 2012 14:48:54 GMT -5
being on the phone with anybody during a date is disrespectful... I kinda see what you are saying.. but naw she was disrespectful.. agreed. I was hi-jacking, not commenting on the previous post. |
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Post by Coldfront06 on Apr 3, 2012 14:57:44 GMT -5
being on the phone with anybody during a date is disrespectful... I kinda see what you are saying.. but naw she was disrespectful.. It was by far the most disrespectful thing I've ever experienced. She actually called him while we were sitting at the table waiting on our food. We had just had an argument because I saw my chapter's President in Walmart and I spent too much time talking to him in her opinion. I considered doing far worse...leaving her sitting there was as nice as I could be. And I didn't even leave her stranded, I just sat in the car. |
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Post by ReignMan19 on Apr 3, 2012 15:01:31 GMT -5
shid... you nice... She was already on the phone with someone who could have come pick her up...
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Post by Chal™ on Apr 3, 2012 15:03:08 GMT -5
right!!!
"all about me" cat, yea. totally left him stranded. I drove myself home in HIS car.
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Post by LejaOMG on Apr 3, 2012 15:21:04 GMT -5
right!!! "all about me" cat, yea. totally left him stranded. I drove myself home in HIS car. I already said, you shoulda got Donkey Kong'd for that. I ain't never been that gangsta. But then again, I ain't never had 15 brothers. |
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{=}http://s2.images.proboards.com/sad.gif{/=}
. Just because it's behind us, doesn't mean we're ashamed of it. Acknowledgment isn't necessarily nostalgia (or as T.I. put it, "in no way should reflection be mistaken for glorification.") I say all that to say, when I hear folks say "my man spends too much time with his ex! That's unacceptable!" I usually wonder about that person's present role in spite of their past one.