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Post by LejaOMG on Mar 28, 2012 8:02:08 GMT -5
Say someone (in whom you have no pre-existing interest or friendship of any sort) begins to demonstrate romantic interest in you. What effort do you feel you are required to put forth? Are you supposed to just sit back and let them work their magic? Or do you feel an obligation to help them win you over? How do you normally behave when you are pursued? Why?
Speak on it.
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Post by Chal™ on Mar 28, 2012 8:36:15 GMT -5
"no friendship of any sort"
He's a stranger? or I just know him some kind of way that doesn't equate to an established bond?
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Post by LejaOMG on Mar 28, 2012 8:43:11 GMT -5
Either way, Chal. Maybe he works in your building and you've seen him a time or two, but definitely aren't on each other's friendship roster. Or maybe you literally met one time at a conference and exchanged info but haven't had a lot of subsequent convo. He's still technically a stranger because you don't know him any better than when you met him.
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Post by Chal™ on Mar 28, 2012 9:08:46 GMT -5
Ah! Clarity! Ok, give me a second....
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Post by Chal™ on Mar 28, 2012 9:21:07 GMT -5
Say someone (in whom you have no pre-existing interest or friendship of any sort) begins to demonstrate romantic interest in you.
Someone (in whom I have no pre-existing interest or friendship of any sort) has begun (or is it began? hmm) to demonstrate romantic interest in me.
What effort do you feel you are required to put forth?
I don't feel I'm required to put forth any effort at all.
Are you supposed to just sit back and let them work their magic?
I think this is a matter of personal choice in relation to what you think of the pursuer. If it is someone who, as you said, I have no interest in, and once finding out his intentions, nothing sparks within, then yes. I sit back and chill.
Or do you feel an obligation to help them win you over?
Again, it's a matter of personal choice in relation to what you think of the pursuer. If after finding out about his intentions, I begin to look at him like, "ok, yea. perhaps I could see something happening with him," then sure, I'll help him along a little bit. Even if it's only by providing more access to me, giving opportunities to learn me better, or even light, innocent flirting.
How do you normally behave when you are pursued?
Depends on the pursuer. (a) If it's someone I know I won't give in to, I let him know not to waste his time. If it's a guy I can see myself falling for, well, I don't do anything special. I just be Chal.
Why?
(a) I don't want to lead you on and I don't want you thinking you can change my mind.
(b) Because it is obviously "Chal" that he has fallen for so why change anything?
Speak on it.
Spoken upon.
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Post by LejaOMG on Mar 28, 2012 9:43:45 GMT -5
I too, am a "sit back and let him work his magic type of gal." If I like him back, then cool. I have some magic of my own that needs a-workin so it will probably feel more mutual. I mean if I think it's an absolute waste of (both our) time, I'll tell him so (in so many words). But if I can tell he likes me and I don't (yet) like him but the idea of "us" doesn't repulse me, I'll let him show me what he's working with. If he wins me over, great. If not, no harm no foul.
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