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Post by nyunupe on Mar 15, 2012 12:19:01 GMT -5
Wow...
I was skimming 123 Diva's "Control" thread...
Great topic, but now....
In many ways or certain levels, women are very attracted to "in control" vs. "controlling". There's a difference to me. I think men should be in control in bed vs. controlling the scence. I think men should be in control in a relationship vs. controlling the relationship...
What do you think?
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Post by LejaOMG on Mar 15, 2012 13:02:08 GMT -5
Excellent questions. IDK whether I find "control" attractive (I don't recall having a SO attempt to control me), but I do appreciate knowing that a man is "in" control, if you will. Today, I told a guy I'm dating that I like submitting to him. He exercises dominance (not domineering) and in turn, I exercise submission (not subservience).
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Post by nyunupe on Mar 15, 2012 13:17:04 GMT -5
Excellent questions. IDK whether I find "control" attractive (I don't recall having a SO attempt to control me), but I do appreciate knowing that a man is "in" control, if you will. Today, I told a guy I'm dating that I like submitting to him. He exercises dominance (not domineering) and in turn, I exercise submission (not subservience). Excellent response Big Leja! This is exactly what I try to explain to female friends of mine. For example, If while having breakfast and we both order coffee, I'll fix your coffee to your liking, w/o asking....or I'll request a refill of your coffee or o.j./beverage. But I won't order for you or make you eat what I think you should have.... The subtle "in control" is what I think women adore....which is what I believe you are saying above, right? |
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Post by Rare_Commodity on Mar 15, 2012 13:18:03 GMT -5
^^ Wow this is a great example I need to master this. The only thing is when you speak about control and submissiveness to men (the men I have dealt with) they always take it to the extreme using biblical terms to back their perverted thinking. Again, I would be heistant to tell a man "I like submitting to him" based on my predisposed judgement on his reaction...but I guess that is based on the type of men I have been dealing with.
I agree that their is a difference between in control and controlling but people use them interchangably. I am still learning how to take control of a situation w/out being controlling or demanding.
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Post by LejaOMG on Mar 15, 2012 13:18:14 GMT -5
(and I'm clearly about due for a shape-shift, lol. IDK if I'm down with being called "Big Leja")
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Post by LejaOMG on Mar 15, 2012 13:20:21 GMT -5
The subtle "in control" is what I think women adore....which is what I believe you are saying above, right? that's the long and short of it, yes. |
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Post by Rare_Commodity on Mar 15, 2012 13:21:28 GMT -5
Excellent questions. IDK whether I find "control" attractive (I don't recall having a SO attempt to control me), but I do appreciate knowing that a man is "in" control, if you will. Today, I told a guy I'm dating that I like submitting to him. He exercises dominance (not domineering) and in turn, I exercise submission (not subservience). Excellent response Big Leja! This is exactly what I try to explain to female friends of mine. For example, If while having breakfast and we both order coffee, I'll fix your coffee to your liking, w/o asking....or I'll request a refill of your coffee or o.j./beverage. But I won't order for you or make you eat what I think you should have.... The subtle "in control" is what I think women adore....which is what I believe you are saying above, right? That's a good example. |
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Post by nyunupe on Mar 15, 2012 13:24:57 GMT -5
(and I'm clearly about due for a shape-shift, lol. IDK if I'm down with being called "Big Leja") Daaang....my bad. How should I address you? How about just Leja? |
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Post by 123Diva on Mar 15, 2012 13:34:41 GMT -5
I like the concept of a man being in control vs. controlling.
Honestly, controlling just wouldn't worth with me.
That's why I have been known to say that if marry the wrong man I may become she-devil. I don't do well with orders or having a lack of control.
Be loving, responsible, in control, etc... tho, I may just be like "As you wish" with a big-azz smile.
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Post by nyunupe on Mar 15, 2012 13:39:15 GMT -5
I like the concept of a man being in control vs. controlling. Honestly, controlling just wouldn't worth with me. That's why I have been known to say that if marry the wrong man I may become she-devil. I don't do well with orders or having a lack of control. Be loving, responsible, in control, etc... tho, I may just be like "As you wish" with a big-azz smile. ...and that's why men who practice "in control" instead of "controlling" so that we can get that BIG AZZ......smile. ;D But in all seriousness, I think that's the downfall in most relationships...both ways. Men like some "in control" as well....at least, I do. Controlling women are the worst. |
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Post by LejaOMG on Mar 15, 2012 13:54:41 GMT -5
(and I'm clearly about due for a shape-shift, lol. IDK if I'm down with being called "Big Leja") Daaang....my bad. How should I address you? How about just Leja? Nah, no beef. The s/n is just "Leja," but I sometimes surround it with other fancy words just to be thematic and festive. Everyone on the board just calls me Leja (or L) so I never noticed how "Big Leja" sounded until just now  |
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Post by Coach on Mar 15, 2012 13:59:50 GMT -5
I like the concept of a man being in control vs. controlling. Honestly, controlling just wouldn't worth with me. That's why I have been known to say that if marry the wrong man I may become she-devil. I don't do well with orders or having a lack of control. Be loving, responsible, in control, etc... tho, I may just be like "As you wish" with a big-azz smile. ...and that's why men who practice "in control" instead of "controlling" so that we can get that BIG AZZ......smile. ;D But in all seriousness, I think that's the downfall in most relationships...both ways. Men like some "in control" as well....at least, I do. Controlling women are the worst. There is not a man other there that doesn't want to be in control...like you said being in control and being controlling are different though. Many men need to be "in control" in some form...otherwise he may feel emasculated. It doesn't have to be dominating control but something. Last thing any dude wants to feel is like he's not needed. |
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Post by Coach on Mar 15, 2012 14:03:32 GMT -5
Daaang....my bad. How should I address you? How about just Leja? Nah, no beef. The s/n is just "Leja," but I sometimes surround it with other fancy words just to be thematic and festive. Everyone on the board just calls me Leja (or L) so I never noticed how "Big Leja" sounded until just now It's not that bad... |
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Post by LejaOMG on Mar 15, 2012 14:11:12 GMT -5
^^ maybe not, but I'm more like "Medium Leja" anyway...
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Post by Chal™ on Mar 15, 2012 15:01:33 GMT -5
there is nothing left for me to say here. carry on
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