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Post by DamieQue™ on Mar 13, 2012 11:53:29 GMT -5
It's no big deal to me, thus it should be no big deal to you.
You ever experienced this mindset from someone before? How did it make you feel? How did you respond?
Have you ever had this mindset? Have you ever seen someone get upset about something and found yourself saying, "is it really that serious"?
Discuss
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Post by Chal™ on Mar 13, 2012 13:00:27 GMT -5
It's no big deal to me, thus it should be no big deal to you.
You ever experienced this mindset from someone before?
Yes.
How did it make you feel?
Dismissed. Like I wasn't being taken seriously. As though that person was pretty much saying eff you AND yo feelings.
How did you respond?
before, I'd allow my temper to get the best of me and lash out. I'd even go as far as to stop communicating with the person. Now, I've learned that everyone doesn't see things how I see them. What may be of uber importance to me could mean fly spit to you. I can't be upset because of that. All I can ask is that you respect my feelings towards the situation and don't try to belittle it.
Have you ever had this mindset?
I have.
Have you ever seen someone get upset about something and found yourself saying, "is it really that serious"?
Yes. In some situations it really wasn't that serious, but I can admit that sometimes I was actually very insensitive about the other person's feelings.
Discuss
Discussed.
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Post by ShimmeringSTAR on Mar 13, 2012 13:58:51 GMT -5
I agree with Chal but Im still working on my tude...
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Post by QueenOH on Mar 13, 2012 14:01:58 GMT -5
I'm usually the one telling people it is no big deal. Why stress about thing when you don't have too. If it has a solution that we can easily come to then it is not a problem and i'm not going to stress myself about it.
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Post by 123Diva on Mar 13, 2012 20:22:13 GMT -5
I was on the receiving end of this very recently. Like Chal, I also felt DISMISSED. And well it ain't easy to dismiss me.
A battle began...
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Post by Oldskool on Mar 13, 2012 22:04:44 GMT -5
I used the phrase "who cares" to a person in my house and it became a very heated discussion. I was being nonchalant in my assessment and jokingly said, "who cares?" OMG! Did I hit a nerve. I only meant that since we had moved into a new neighborhood and we knew no one, it would really be no big deal how the cabinets were arranged. WOW! Every since then, I have been very careful to not use the phrase "who cares" or "no big deal".
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Post by Chal™ on Mar 13, 2012 22:33:06 GMT -5
I was on the receiving end of this very recently. Like Chal, I also felt DISMISSED. And well it ain't easy to dismiss me. A battle began... I like this post. i absolutely LOVE the last three words. I "heard" it all dramatic-like. lol |
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Post by ShimmeringSTAR on Mar 14, 2012 0:15:47 GMT -5
In her NY voice...
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Post by ReignMan19 on Mar 14, 2012 7:21:04 GMT -5
I'm usually the person who does something and feels like its no big deal.
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Post by LejaOMG on Mar 14, 2012 8:46:04 GMT -5
I'm a notorious NBDer. I even shrug, lol. It has caused problems in the past, especially with authority figures. Naturally, I'm not terribly excitable and if something happens...even something significant...even something bad-- I've always been very good at quickly analyzing the situation and ascertaining whether there's anything I can do. If the answer is no, then...hey. LoL. Even if the situation is my fault, it's very difficult to get me to feel the same amount of fear/excitement/panic/terror that you feel. It's not that I don't care. It's just that I don't see the value in getting all worked up about it.
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Post by 123Diva on Mar 15, 2012 10:03:46 GMT -5
I was on the receiving end of this very recently. Like Chal, I also felt DISMISSED. And well it ain't easy to dismiss me. A battle began... I like this post. i absolutely LOVE the last three words. I "heard" it all dramatic-like. lol Believe it or not, this person and I, have not fully recovered from this incident! How dare you dismiss my feelings or my take on a situation involving the both of us and expect it to be ALL GOOD? Uh uh. |
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Post by LejaOMG on Mar 15, 2012 10:38:51 GMT -5
Not for nothing, I try to let people and their emotions be. The only time I really feel the need to say "Hey! NBD! Calm Down!" is if people try to impute their emotions to me. For this reason, I've been called flippant, dismissive, unemotional and an under-reactor. I consider it a flaw on my part.
When Whitney Houston died, I wasn't exactly uncaring but I didn't change my FB profile pic and do an ode on twitter. Someone asked whether I was sad about it and commented that I didn't "act" like it. My reply was something like "I mean, it sucks. But I can't bring her back." It's not like I didn't care, but who is anyone to determine how I should show it (or if I should show it at all)?
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Post by nyunupe on Mar 15, 2012 12:29:46 GMT -5
Spilled milk theory/Water under the bridge theory...
One person's don't cry over spilled milk, is another person's stained carpet..
One person's "water under the bridge" is another person's flood to deal with...
What comes to mind is the recent case of the Rutgers U. student who killed himself after being recorded and "caught" having gay relations.
Clearly, the cat who recorded him didn't seem to think this was a big deal. Obviously and sadly, it was...
The "no big deal" approach seems to lack consideration and human condition.
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Post by nyunupe on Mar 15, 2012 13:33:35 GMT -5
I was on the receiving end of this very recently. Like Chal, I also felt DISMISSED. And well it ain't easy to dismiss me. A battle began... LOL! |
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Post by Chal™ on Mar 15, 2012 15:44:41 GMT -5
When Whitney Houston died, I wasn't exactly uncaring but I didn't change my FB profile pic and do an ode on twitter. Someone asked whether I was sad about it and commented that I didn't "act" like it. My reply was something like "I mean, it sucks. But I can't bring her back." It's not like I didn't care, but who is anyone to determine how I should show it (or if I should show it at all)? My sentiments exactly. And need I mention Kia's outrage at my lack of outward emotion for MJ's death? |
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