Post by Chal™ on Oct 28, 2011 16:32:21 GMT -5
Reading over old threads, I came across this:
*The Bishop bursts through the courtroom doors wearing his Sunday's Power robe as four young men dressed in dark suit sprinkle roses at his feet. *
Bishop: STOP!!!!! I call that we halt this trial in the name of the Lord.
Damie: She has already made her ruling.
Bishop: Shut up Blasphemer, I bind thee tongue in the name of the Holy Spirit
Damie: *confused look* Wha??
Bishop: Good morning court room. And I would be remiss not to say good morning to the world.
Alc: There are no tv cameras in here .
Bishop: You all may be seated in the presence of the Lord.
*Everyone looks around*
Damie: Aint nobody standing
Bishop: I do want to remind folk that we're here at 8 every Sunday morning. Every Sunday morning.
Alc: At the courthouse??
Bishop: And I'll be here next week.
Reign: What the eff is this guy talking about.
Chal: I have no idea but this is best trial I have ever been to in my life.
Reign: Word
Bishop: First of all, let me thank you on behalf on my wife, my family, for all of your support, your prayers. We are certainly humbled by such a loving congregation. I realize that many have been waiting on me to say something.
* the group of husky women get up and applaud and shout *
* Ivy Pearl bangs the gravel*
Ivy Pearl: Order in the court. Bishop get on with this.
Bishop: Because I'm pastor, I want to talk to you for a moment, and make a statement and we'll be gone.
This is an extremely difficult time for me, an extremely difficult time for my family. It’s an extremely difficult time for you, because many who've called you and asked you questions and all of these kind of things. You ain't never got this many phone calls in your life. It's a time when you actually see the veil dropped and who's with you and who's not with you.
I proclaim today that I am not a perfect man... I am perfection personified.
* A collective C'mon son face sweeps the court room*
Bishop: Through the Lord's holy spirit I have been ordained the Commander Bishop Eddie Long of the Mt. Jericho Universoul Starship Entreprise and well be leading the battle of the Dominion War.
* A collective "straightest face the fuck ever" sweeps the court room *
* the group of husky women jump to their feet as begin to scream and shout*
Huskies: Lead us Bishop! Yes Lord!!
Bishop: Now the Dominions is a crafty bunch. They use their youthful looks and delectable firm bodies to hypontize and confuse thoseperverts Godly men sent to tame them. I claim that I will be victorious and we can make it through by the focus on Power. That is why through my mind and the holy spirit I have crafted this fine aerodynamic form fitting cloat and sprinkled it the blood of Jesus.
None of you can hold rights over anything that I (and the Lord) has created.
With this cloat, I shall go head to head with the Dominions
Huskies: YES!!!
Voice in the crowd: Pause
Bishop: I shall use my holygaydar power to strike powerful blows upon these Dominions asses.
Huskies: AMEN!!!
Voice in the crowd: No Homo
Bishop: I shall use my bare hands to violated these Dominions in ways they can't even imagine.
Huskies: Yes praise you Bishop!!! Yes Lord!!!
Voices crowd: Pause, No homo, this ninja is gay
iDied all over again.
Bishop: STOP!!!!! I call that we halt this trial in the name of the Lord.
Damie: She has already made her ruling.
Bishop: Shut up Blasphemer, I bind thee tongue in the name of the Holy Spirit
Damie: *confused look* Wha??
Bishop: Good morning court room. And I would be remiss not to say good morning to the world.
Alc: There are no tv cameras in here .
Bishop: You all may be seated in the presence of the Lord.
*Everyone looks around*
Damie: Aint nobody standing
Bishop: I do want to remind folk that we're here at 8 every Sunday morning. Every Sunday morning.
Alc: At the courthouse??
Bishop: And I'll be here next week.
Reign: What the eff is this guy talking about.
Chal: I have no idea but this is best trial I have ever been to in my life.
Reign: Word
Bishop: First of all, let me thank you on behalf on my wife, my family, for all of your support, your prayers. We are certainly humbled by such a loving congregation. I realize that many have been waiting on me to say something.
* the group of husky women get up and applaud and shout *
* Ivy Pearl bangs the gravel*
Ivy Pearl: Order in the court. Bishop get on with this.
Bishop: Because I'm pastor, I want to talk to you for a moment, and make a statement and we'll be gone.
This is an extremely difficult time for me, an extremely difficult time for my family. It’s an extremely difficult time for you, because many who've called you and asked you questions and all of these kind of things. You ain't never got this many phone calls in your life. It's a time when you actually see the veil dropped and who's with you and who's not with you.
I proclaim today that I am not a perfect man... I am perfection personified.
* A collective C'mon son face sweeps the court room*
Bishop: Through the Lord's holy spirit I have been ordained the Commander Bishop Eddie Long of the Mt. Jericho Universoul Starship Entreprise and well be leading the battle of the Dominion War.
* A collective "straightest face the fuck ever" sweeps the court room *
* the group of husky women jump to their feet as begin to scream and shout*
Huskies: Lead us Bishop! Yes Lord!!
Bishop: Now the Dominions is a crafty bunch. They use their youthful looks and delectable firm bodies to hypontize and confuse those
None of you can hold rights over anything that I (and the Lord) has created.
With this cloat, I shall go head to head with the Dominions
Huskies: YES!!!
Voice in the crowd: Pause
Bishop: I shall use my holy
Huskies: AMEN!!!
Voice in the crowd: No Homo
Bishop: I shall use my bare hands to violated these Dominions in ways they can't even imagine.
Huskies: Yes praise you Bishop!!! Yes Lord!!!
Voices crowd: Pause, No homo, this ninja is gay
iDied all over again.