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Post by Chal™ on Jun 1, 2011 15:33:00 GMT -5
you want him to get use to being in his home so you take him and put him in the bed while you go play nooky? I'm sorry, but I'm not buying that. If you want him to get use to being in his home then you take him there during normal hours and you guys do things together. That's how he gets use to being around this guy and in his home.
You're right. It may not be her prevailing motivation. But I highly doubt she's spending the night just to cuddle.
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Post by T-Rex91 on Jun 1, 2011 15:46:39 GMT -5
am I wrong that I don't believe for a second that you would be willing to babysit for old girl just because she has an itch that needs scratching? Believe that rather than my nephew there, I'd have him with me. It's one of those situations where I believe 1000% that she's gonna go get her back blown out either way so I'd rather intervene on his behalf since I can't change her actions. |
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Post by T-Rex91 on Jun 1, 2011 15:48:00 GMT -5
I'm trying to figure out why we're presuming that sex is her prevailing motivation. What about because you are in love and considering a future with the person and want your child to get used to being in his home? Because i KNOW the trick. Next question?  |
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Post by T-Rex91 on Jun 1, 2011 15:48:39 GMT -5
you want him to get use to being in his home so you take him and put him in the bed while you go play nooky? I'm sorry, but I'm not buying that. If you want him to get use to being in his home then you take him there during normal hours and you guys do things together. That's how he gets use to being around this guy and in his home. You're right. It may not be her prevailing motivation. But I highly doubt she's spending the night just to cuddle. What Chal said............ |
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Post by Chal™ on Jun 1, 2011 15:51:17 GMT -5
What Chal said............ I'm gonna have to bookmark this thread because without it I'll never believe I've so readily agreed with you this many times in one day. lol |
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Post by T-Rex91 on Jun 1, 2011 15:52:37 GMT -5
It's a sign of growth young one ;D
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Post by Chal™ on Jun 1, 2011 15:56:25 GMT -5
It's a sign of growth young one ;D translation: You're getting old. |
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Post by LejaOMG on Jun 1, 2011 16:40:08 GMT -5
I'm trying to figure out why we're presuming that sex is her prevailing motivation. What about because you are in love and considering a future with the person and want your child to get used to being in his home? Because i KNOW the trick. Next question? I don't. I needed to hear that. |
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Post by Bunny Hop on Jun 1, 2011 17:47:45 GMT -5
So my mother was a single mother and while she didn't go to someone's house with my in tow there were times when a guy was at our house. I can't remember if he was there when I woke up but I remember him being there when I went to sleep. At 28 I don't consider myself scarred for life by knowing my mom had "company." If anything my parents relationship with each other has affected me way more than some dude staying at our house.
RE: the suggestion of the father keeping him
I'm sure that would be an awesome solution for those situations with active fathers. I can't imagine my mom (or many single mothers that I knew/know) calling my dad and saying "hey can bhop stay with you tonight...I'm trying to get some azz." I'm sure this would really work in that utopia where both parents are active and on excellent terms but we don't live there, LOL.
RE: family keeping them
That's assuming she lives in a decent distance of family and that this is family she knows well enough to keep her child. And family ain't always free.
If single mothers went by some of y'alls guidelines they'd be good and single forever. Babysitters cost money and as a single mom you're already struggling. I do know there were times when I stayed with my babysitter overnight or on the weekends and I honestly have no clue what my mom was doing. I do know that they had a good relationship and she helped my mom a great deal but not everyone has someone like that, especially now.
And just to piggyback off of Leja folks are not always willing to babysit as they say. You are all for it until you actually get that call and then the next post we see will be "I can't believe she called me to babysit her child so she could go get some azz...WTF!!" LOL
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Post by Coldfront06 on Jun 1, 2011 19:13:43 GMT -5
This one is interesting. I've dated some single mothers and if we're in a solid, serious relationship and the kid "knows" me, then I don't see anything wrong with this. If we're just having fun, then PLEASE don't bring your kid to my house, night or otherwise...it makes me uncomfortable and it doesn't feel right.
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Post by All Pledging Is Legal on Jun 6, 2011 20:06:18 GMT -5
Y'all some jealous little hypocrites in here. No wonder black women can't get along. Y'all always tearing down somebody else.
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Post by **Dea** on Jun 7, 2011 9:56:45 GMT -5
This has been a discussion topic in my circle since I saw it. Most of my beliefs have already been stated with them resembling those of Leja and Queen. Only thing I would like to add, and I'm glad Cold commented before me, is the willingness of the guy. It says something about a relationship that he even allows her to bring the boy. Idk if he's in an apt/condo or house (he can't be in too bad of an area tho since 91 lives not too far from him), but it says alot to me that he even HAS a spare room in his living quarters for the child (most single bachelors with no intentions on being in anything serious seek out single bdrm or loft condos. Those of higher income status may do the opposite just because they can...either way it's not that bad.) Also, yes he has slept over but I don't think we're asking the right questions. Is the child being awaken out of his sleep at night to travel to this man's house only to be back in his bed by sun up? Has he ever spent time with the man and his mom in any other setting? What are the intentions and future of their relationship? Would you also be upset if the tables were turned and this was a single parenting male in a serious relationship with a woman comparable to you? How would you feel if you are told tomorrow that they plan to move in together/get married?
These are just some questions/concerns I think must be considered before any kind of judgement is passed.
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Post by Julie Art on Jun 7, 2011 10:27:03 GMT -5
Dea does bring up good points.
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Post by T-Rex91 on Jun 13, 2011 8:01:06 GMT -5
Is the child being awaken out of his sleep at night to travel to this man's house only to be back in his bed by sun up? Has he ever spent time with the man and his mom in any other setting? What are the intentions and future of their relationship? Would you also be upset if the tables were turned and this was a single parenting male in a serious relationship with a woman comparable to you? How would you feel if you are told tomorrow that they plan to move in together/get married? This is a child of unmarried parents who already (IMO) spens too much time passing between various "homes". Sometimes he spends the night at his Mom's, sometimes at hid Dad's, sometimes with his aunt or grandmother, sometimes, he's with his Mom's best friend, and now let's throw in sometimes he's at "Uncle" X's. Yes, I am just as ticked when his Dad has "friends" spend the night when my nephew is with him. Equal opportunity all day. If you want to get married as she does, whoever you're dating at that time is "serious" and "headed toward marriage". How does the fact that you think you're in love justify uprooting the child? Why can't your boo come to your house so at least the child sleeps in his own bed? (Not really feeling that either but I'd think it a bit more tolerable). If they got engaged and moved in together, I wouldn't be as pissed. I don't believe a woman should just shack up with a dude if she has a child with no commitment as if it ends, the child's life will be disrupted yet again. All your questions are good but this scenario still plays for me as Mom putting her needs and wants ahead of the child's. Show some restraint and maturity. *shrugs* |
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