|
|
Post by All Pledging Is Legal on Nov 12, 2010 8:57:45 GMT -5
So basically this movie shows the stupidity, naivety, and weakness of black women. Black women need to stop blaming black men for their own shortcomings. Not every black woman is some punching bag or baby's mama or victim. Step your game up black women. You 'sistas' who are in these pitiful situations need to take notes. You black women who are living good lives need to stay the hell away from these losers. The world doesn't give a shit about your excuses. THE ONLY REASON I decided to quote and comment to this is because I know you are dumb enough to truly believe this and I know other men do as well but would never so boldly say it..... AND TO ALL YALL I SAY.... fuck YOU PUNK!!! Are you seriously going to tell me that a man, that you know and trust that never had any signs of crazy before hauling off and whoopin her ass because "his words weren't getting through to her" DESERVED or had any play in the action? Cause this just happened to a woman in my chapter. Sweet heart through and through....OH...BTW, she is 4months pregnant with his child! And NO....this isn't an outwardly fucked up man...He is educated, member of a fraternity, has a very good job, etc etc....No signs! As I told her, the only reason I'd place any blame on her is if she stayed with the fool! Does she have excuses? Does the woman who is successful in her career and good head on her shoulders have excuses when she finds her husband of 10years butt fucking her male cousin in her bathroom have excuses? Is she to blame because he's a punk? This is a coworker of mine. IS it the fault of the woman who works 2 or 3 jobs to make a happy life for her 3 children (who's husband left her for a sugar momma after he was laid off his job)to blame when a man breaks into their home one morning, expecting her not to be there, rapes and kills her oldest daughter (17yr old)...then when he is discovered by the other children this saturday morning he kills them too(ages 7 and 9)?? This mother, who's life was to protect and provide for her family in light of the cards that she was dealt, has her life ripped away from her? Is she to blame? This is a woman at my church. Are you telling me that an 8 year old girl laying on the couch sleep by her best friends house should take the blame when a 42 year old man (bf's uncle) comes in and sees her laying on the couch and has his way with her and puts his hand over her mouth when she cries for her daddy?? She, now ex-daddy's girl, subsequently never forgives her father for his issues which led him to be 4 hrs late picking her up. She later suffers from major depression and trust issues. Is she to blame for this? This is ME! Do better in your life dude! Seriously! If life is that bad for you, then you should seek counseling. Chatting on a message board about deep emotional and psychological issues is outright foolish. You probably will never overcome those problems that you and loved ones have faced. But getting angry at me isn't going to change anything. I never wronged you. I just told you to stop hanging with losers and stop making excuses. You are not the only one who had a rough life. But you are solely responsible in improving you. The reality is that most people do not give a shit about your troubles or concerns. Those that actually do care are powerless in helping you to improve. Get yourself together. |
|
|
|
Post by Sapphire on Nov 12, 2010 13:25:31 GMT -5
So are y'all just gonna ignore my request for clarification on what happend ot Keri Washington's character?
|
|
|
|
Post by LogAKAlly <3'n Keef on Nov 12, 2010 14:30:12 GMT -5
I am thankful to not only have a good man but for the ability to recognize and appreciate him! I'm especially thankful for all my past experiences - good and bad - wrongs I've done to others and done to me - b/c without that I wouldn't have the wisdom. I completely agree with you. I saw the movie with an ex-bf that I am now just friends with. I actually liked really it, and as soon as we walked outside of the theatre, I took the time to tell him how thankful I was that he was always a gentleman. Though things didn't work out between us, this movie helped me to appreciate that he was a good man and never left me feeling like any of the women in this movie. ^5 (high 5 just in case you didn't know  ) I'm saying! It even might make some women re-evaluate their notions and expectations of what is truly valuable about a man. There are lessons to be learned on both ends. huey - I don't doubt that TP is hurting - not only for himself but also for his mother (he watched her being abused), his childhood friend (he laid next to her as his father molested her) and a score of other women...does that make the message any less real? Remember, TP didn't write it...did we question Speilberg's motives/agenda this way about the Color Purple? I think he added the HIV part to address a current, dangerous, and real issue and controversial issue amongst Black women. The reality is: 1. Black women represent the majority of new HIV infections. 2. Women and gay males contract the disease easier than men and lesbian women. 3. There are men (of all races) who have sex with other men while having relationships with women. Janet's character is not responsible for her husbands sexuality - but the lesson seemed to be: If you're with a man you can treat like a woman, don't be surprised when he acts like one.  |
|
|
|
Post by **Dea** on Nov 12, 2010 21:36:18 GMT -5
Apil, you are hopeless. My post wasn't about me. I've told that story millions of times on this board and the last 2! This is public knowledge. There's no deep emotion...just reality. My post was to show you that in a lot of cases of everyday, well minded women, you cannot blame them for what happened to them or the luggage they carry. You called them weak, losers, and pitiful, when in a lot of situations that couldn't be farther from the truth. Don't pay me no never mind. I just used my well know account as an example. Nothing I said was out of anger...did I get mad when.I first read your post, yes, but I was ok enough to realize I needed to respond. Too many times ppl let's comments like yours go without backlash. But I'm not those ppl. My past has not damaged my present or my future. I live my life the same way a woman who never had an ailment in her life does. No I don't wear my heart on my sleeve but I don't think anyone should. Simple. You need to listen instead of just hearing.
|
|
|
|
Post by peppermint on Nov 12, 2010 22:45:40 GMT -5
So are y'all just gonna ignore my request for clarification on what happend ot Keri Washington's character? My bad... the guy was just cheating on her with her friends. |
|
|
|
Post by Vudu_Prince on Nov 13, 2010 0:47:16 GMT -5
I completely agree with you. I saw the movie with an ex-bf that I am now just friends with. I actually liked really it, and as soon as we walked outside of the theatre, I took the time to tell him how thankful I was that he was always a gentleman. Though things didn't work out between us, this movie helped me to appreciate that he was a good man and never left me feeling like any of the women in this movie. ^5 (high 5 just in case you didn't know ) I'm saying! It even might make some women re-evaluate their notions and expectations of what is truly valuable about a man. There are lessons to be learned on both ends. huey - I don't doubt that TP is hurting - not only for himself but also for his mother (he watched her being abused), his childhood friend (he laid next to her as his father molested her) and a score of other women...does that make the message any less real? Remember, TP didn't write it...did we question Speilberg's motives/agenda this way about the Color Purple? I think he added the HIV part to address a current, dangerous, and real issue and controversial issue amongst Black women. The reality is:
1. Black women represent the majority of new HIV infections.2. Women and gay males contract the disease easier than men and lesbian women. 3. There are men (of all races) who have sex with other men while having relationships with women. Janet's character is not responsible for her husbands sexuality - but the lesson seemed to be: If you're with a man you can treat like a woman, don't be surprised when he acts like one. Of course Black and Hispanic Women will be the highest rate of new HIV infections when they make up majority of the testing pool. That's simple math. All the get tested campaigns aimed at black and hispanic women who incidentally have higher birth rates. Your second one is dead on though. |
|
|
|
Post by **Dea** on Nov 13, 2010 0:54:54 GMT -5
So are y'all just gonna ignore my request for clarification on what happend ot Keri Washington's character? My bad... the guy was just cheating on her with her friends. And he gave her an STD that she didn't realize she had until it had already done some serious damage. |
|
|
|
Post by Sapphire on Nov 13, 2010 1:31:56 GMT -5
Thanks Pep and Dea. I think the STD part was where I got lost with all poetry in her monologue. I got the cheating part because of the rose but the cramping part 8 months later confused me. Thanks for clarifying.
Too much sex, not enough condoms.
|
|
|
|
Post by All Pledging Is Legal on Nov 13, 2010 10:51:09 GMT -5
Apil, you are hopeless. My post wasn't about me. I've told that story millions of times on this board and the last 2! This is public knowledge. There's no deep emotion...just reality. My post was to show you that in a lot of cases of everyday, well minded women, you cannot blame them for what happened to them or the luggage they carry. You called them weak, losers, and pitiful, when in a lot of situations that couldn't be farther from the truth. Don't pay me no never mind. I just used my well know account as an example. Nothing I said was out of anger...did I get mad when.I first read your post, yes, but I was ok enough to realize I needed to respond. Too many times ppl let's comments like yours go without backlash. But I'm not those ppl. My past has not damaged my present or my future. I live my life the same way a woman who never had an ailment in her life does. No I don't wear my heart on my sleeve but I don't think anyone should. Simple. You need to listen instead of just hearing. Excuses, excuses, excuses. |
|
|
|
Post by Comedy on Nov 14, 2010 14:49:20 GMT -5
Wow...wow...wow! After reading all this, I have no desire to burden myself with all this hostility over a movie. What I will do is take this time to address a few things.
APIL, it's not so much what you said, but how you said it. As a black women who is not plagued by the homie, lover, abusive cheating man syndome, I will agree that lots of women who look like me have excuse. You're correct. This could be because 72% of black babies are born to single mothers. Maybe these abused woman have way more going on than what meets the eye, but they aren't all victims. You are also correct that not every black woman is a punching bag, but you would be amazed how many black women deal with this hint hint. I ask the why questions all the time and APIL, I won't entertain you or the board with some of the responses I've heard over the years. Also, I am really starting to believe Mr. Perry although talented, is an undercover gay man who has a not so healthy mentality of good and productive black men and women. His films should always be taken with a grain of salt. As intelligent as he I just can't understand why we all have to be tragic all the time.
Luminous, I appreciate and respect your views as we have some in common, but do you really believe the majority of abused women become victims by chance? Like oops he slapped me; oops, did he just call me a hoe in front of my family? I'm gonna say "nope" and I'll also say that most women who are taking beat downs knew what they were dealing with way before the marriage ,baby(ies) or hospital visit. Why do we black people believe that it isn't real if we fail to accept ownership? I would bet my check that most women in these categories started off thinking it was funny when he pushed her onto the bed because he was playing or that he really didn't mean to twist her arm or that he really does love her when sleeping with lots of other women. This is why our mothers and grandmother tell us to not get in the habit of playing with boys. Some of these boys grow up to become the abusers in our lives and if we've been playing with them for all these year, why stop now? For most men this type of playing is a slick way to figure out if he beats or demeans her will she be okay with it.
Sorry ladies, but children really are a womans burden (sorry) there is no way we can be guaranteed that a man will stick around after the birth of a child, but we typically do. I used to think that no women wants to be a single parent, but...some of these single moms are single because she made a bad choice or she ran him away with that "sistah girl diva" ish. I would also bet that most of these situations were developed because the women gave her goodies to a man who wasn't shyt to begin with and SHE knew it. Yep, I said it. We know exactly who we are sleeping with. We know a if we'll sleep with a man in less than 30 minutes. It doesn't mean that we will, but we've already contemplated the possibilities. When a man or woman shows you who they are believe them! Now who on the board is going to convince me that the last nucca you got rid of only became a worthless, cheating, good for nothing SOB only after you became so frustrated with his antics you left? I'll wait...
Ladies and gentleman, stop believing that everyone is a victim. We make choices in live. I wonder how many successful women on this message board could be honest enough with self and admit to dealing with some sort of abuse or cheating because we are or were in love. What makes these tragic T. Perry characters different from us?
Does the trivial things in our lives really make us this hateful/bitter?
|
|
|
|
Post by Bunny Hop on Nov 17, 2010 21:33:49 GMT -5
I saw it. I liked it. I didn't realize it was 2.5 hours until I left. I thought the characters did a great job.
The rape scene shook me. I really like Anika Noni Rose. I hope she gets more roles (she's on The Good Wife right now). The only time I cried was when Phylicia Rashaad's (sp?) character went into Kimberly Elise's apartment to help her get up. I just know all too well how sometimes you need someone to fight for you when you can't fight for yourself. I'm totally a Loretta Divine fan. The young girl has been on a few things and I'd like to see her more. Whoopi was bat shyt crazy. Thandie was great. That scene with her and Whoopi...WOW. I'll just say I can totally relate to the mother/daughter clash. The scene with the kids...I just had to close my eyes. Janet is looking more and more like MJ.
I liked how TP filled in the "gaps" in a believable way and I like how he tied the characters together.
The only thing I didn't like was the way the characters said their monologues. It was just kind of off.
|
|
)
