FOR COLORED GIRLS

[All Pledging Is Legal]

So basically this movie shows the stupidity, naivety, and weakness of black women.

Black women need to stop blaming black men for their own shortcomings. Not every black woman is some punching bag or baby's mama or victim. Step your game up black women. You 'sistas' who are in these pitiful situations need to take notes. You black women who are living good lives need to stay the hell away from these losers. The world doesn't give a shit about your excuses.

[perroloco]

I, for one , will not be seeing this movie, no matter how much a woman wants to see it. It is not date material. Don't want to see a movie by a bitter gay man about 9 women who have yet to "Exhale".

I understand that Black Women feel that this movie is for them and truthfully reflects their challenges and problems. It very well may for a few. Why so many feel a kinship to this victimization, is again, a Black Woman thing. It would be extremeley presumptuous of a man to say that a woman is wrong for feeling drawn to these exploitative and manipulative melodramas.

I just fear the transferrance of bitterness that results when a woman returns from these movies carrying the weight of imaginary characters (as if the events in the movie happened to them) and dumping it at the feet and on the backs of real men (as it already appears to have happened based on some of the responses).

[dappa]

Nov 9, 2010 22:44:22 GMT -5 perroloco said:

I, for one , will not be seeing this movie, no matter how much a woman wants to see it. It is not date material. Don't want to see a movie by a bitter gay man about 9 women who have yet to "Exhale".

I understand that Black Women feel that this movie is for them and truthfully reflects their challenges and problems. It very well may for a few. Why so many feel a kinship to this victimization, is again, a Black Woman thing. It would be extremeley presumptuous of a man to say that a woman is wrong for feeling drawn to these exploitative and manipulative melodramas.

I just fear the transferrance of bitterness that results when a woman returns from these movies carrying the weight of imaginary characters (as if the events in the movie happened to them) and dumping it at the feet and on the backs of real men (as it already appears to have happened based on some of the responses).

*dapz*

[T-Rex91]

[peppermint]

Couldn't men who take this movie as offensive been considered taking on the "weight of imaginary characters?"

[Bunny Hop]

Nov 10, 2010 23:51:53 GMT -5 peppermint said:

Couldn't men who take this movie as offensive been considered taking on the "weight of imaginary characters?"

Right. A man seeing this and feeling like he's always being bashed doesn't just shed that feeling when he walks into the parking lot of the theater. He's going to take that home too.

When I heard about this thread earlier I just People react strongly to characters in movies because they can identify with them for one reason or another. If men are looking at Tyler Perry movies and always feeling bashed (even though there are stand up and "good" men in every movie) I have to wonder if they're identifying with the "bad" guy? Are some men feeling like they're being put on blast? Every time I read something where some guy talks about TP and his man bashing movies I wonder if he's just tripping because he is that guy and he's feeling attacked, like is this a hollering hit dog type of thing.


And seriously...if the woman in your life is coming home and there is a "transference of bitterness" because she is "carrying the weight of imaginary characters (as if the events in the movie happened to them)" you might want to talk to her about that. It just may be something that hits very close to home for her...you might learn something.

[huey]

The difference between the play and the movie is the addition of male characters. Remember the play was an all female cast. The the men characters existed, they existed through the stories of the women. This i think was an important element in keeping the focus on the plight of the black woman and their various trials and tribulations

Once men were added to the cast, it now removed that anonymous element and gave you a visual character. Having a woman talk about being recently being raped by a friend is different then actually seeing the rape. In both cases, the rape occurs, but seeing the action makes you hate that man. If alot of negative shit happens due to black men, but are never seen,you just feel sorry for the women. WHen you see it happening, you hate those men and walk away feeling like niggas aint shit.

[huey]

Ya'll can't tell me ya'll watched Rosewood and left loving white people.

White people prolly was feeling mad uncomfortable watching that. ESPECIALLY, the ones who view themselves as not being racist.

[Blu]

I know a lot of guys (me included) that get upset because of the generalization that is taken away from many of TP's movies by some women who identify with the plight of the main characters. It's definitely not because we identify with the "bad guys" in the movie. It's that we try to be the good guys, but get lumped in no matter what we do. Luckily, I don't have to go home to that with my wife, but I do get to hear this mindset from certain women I come into contact with.

[Vudu_Prince]

Yup yet again another movie by a homo reaffirming the bullchit about black men to black women. Turning you away from men who they themselves want. lol. Classic Chit. Stop thinking these fags have your best interest sistahs. Yall get so caught up in "He objectifying me" " He holding me back" and would rather deal on a platonic level with the gay dude who #1 you feel safe around cause he doesn't wanna fuck but the flipside is # 2 he hates you secretly and think's that HE is better for men then you are. Wake the fuck up.

[huey]

Nov 11, 2010 8:31:32 GMT -5 Vudu_Prince said:

Yup yet again another movie by a homo reaffirming the bullchit about black men to black women. Turning you away from men who they themselves want. lol. Classic Chit. Stop thinking these fags have your best interest sistahs. Yall get so caught up in "He objectifying me" " He holding me back" and would rather deal on a platonic level with the gay dude who #1 you feel safe around cause he doesn't wanna fuck but the flipside is # 2 he hates you secretly and think's that HE is better for men then you are. Wake the fuck up.

This is classic shit here.

[DamieQue™]

This thread demonstrates (to me) what is wrong with relationships between black men and black women... it's the insistance that the "other" must see our view.

There are as many "realities" as there are perceptions. I actually know women who have experienced some of the things that happened in this movie (well let me say that based on their accounts I know that they have - since I have been questioned about what I "know" before). I have no doubt that some of the characters resonate with people because they experienced similar things that did happen and do happen. Particularly the rape aspect - I am convinced more and more that actual instances of this crime are under reported, and that we as men probably don't perceive it to happen because we don't do it, and we do not perceive our circle of friends to be capable of it. It almost requires a woman to acknowledge that it happened to them for us to re-examine our perspectives and ask ourselves, "how come I didn't notice this"? If nothing else the movie could drive dialog about this particular topic.

Now that said, Juicy mentioned something about women being spoken of negatively in rap songs and portrayed negatively in videos. Would it offend women to be told that these are also portrayals of reality? Would it sound credible if some said it wasn't really disrespect of women, it was just realism? I promise whatever you have seen in videos, men on this board have seen IRL by every day ordinary women. Would you be receptive to men telling you need to sit down and examine some of these videos and learn? My guess is that you would not be (and keeping it real I would completely understand). It is a "reality" for some but not a "reality" for all.

[DamieQue™]

I don't think that TP is a homosexual just because of the movies he makes, but it does raise some eyebrows that in ALL this time, he has yet to do a work from a man's perspective and he is a man. It does raise an eyebrow that we have all these other images of black men, and TP has not promoted them, and he is a man.

It's not that Tyler Perry's movies (and others) portray no reality, they just portray the same one over and over. And it's not one that applies to all men or even all women; but we know that folks are going to internalize it anyway (and that's exactly what Perro Loco was alluding to.)

[Sapphire]

I finally saw the movie. I thought the acting was very good. And I agree with Diva it was nice to see Phylicia Rashad on screen again. I was disappointed that she did not recieve the same billing in the opening credits that Whoopi Goldberg got... especially when Janet's name popped up first. I felt Phylicia's character was the true (putting on my Oscar hat) meaning of supporting actress. She was the glue that bound all the story lines and characters together.

Anyhoo, I had no expectations for this movie other than what the ladies in this thread said so I thought it would be pretty good. I had never heard of the book or play, so I really relied on OO to guide me to see this movie. I though each person did a great job with their role, great casting and good acting allt he way around. Okay so with that being said...









I was so disappointed with this movie! LOL. I can't trust y'all for nothin! It seemed like it lasted 4 hours not 2 and I couldn't wait for it to end. Some people left before it finished, and I would never do that. But me'h to the whole thing. I shoulda saved my duckets and went to see Denzel.

[Sapphire]

Matter of fact, I'm made I wasted a holiday on this dark, drab, drawn on hot mess. I would have rather spent a day in parochial school. The appropriate sobriquet for this movie is For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Committing Suicide When the Ticket Price Ain't Enuf.

[LogAKAlly <3'n Keef]

I saw it - took my mom, Keith and his daughters (ages 13 and 15)...

this movie made me hold my man a little tighter, kiss him a little longer and pray a littler harder b/c I am truly thankful and appreciative!!

I am thankful to not only have a good man but for the ability to recognize and appreciate him!
I'm especially thankful for all my past experiences - good and bad - wrongs I've done to others and done to me - b/c without that I wouldn't have the wisdom.

If a woman walks away feeling like men ain't shit b/c of this - her perception of a "man" was a lil too malleable to begin with.

I've had far more positive experiences than negative ones with relationships - not b/c they truly were but because of how I choose to internalize my experiences.

When I've had a man that was untrustworthy...instead of being bitter with untrustworthy men...I decided to value a trustworthy man all the more.

My optimism is guided by my pragmatic sensibility and my balls out honesty with myself about my own shit!
I know I have a self bias towards myself, but I as real with myself - good and bad - as I can be because I am a student of LIFE...therefore I am constantly trying to LEARN how to make the most of this experience called life.

There is one real truth and an infinite amount of perceptions...your experience is governed by how you perceive your experience and that perception shapes your future decisions.

A battered woman can imagine herself as;

1. a victim too stupid, gullible, and worthless to be loved - nothing more than damaged goods that no one can truly love and respect. And when someone does, it's because the feel sorry for her - if they contest - she sends them through a series of bullshit to prove their love, which becomes the very thing that sends them away. Thus she is reaffirmed and lives in a self perpetuating cycle.

or

2. an imperfect woman, who decided to love an imperfect person who believed some way that through forgiveness, loyalty and understanding she could heal the years wounds that she never inflicted. A woman who was honest enough to admit, she has also been raised with mixed messages about healthy expressions, and part of her feels she may have participated/initiated some of it, maybe at times, even feeling like she deserved it.
A woman who wanted to believe all of the promises and apologies because she thought "having a piece of man was better than having no man at all" but eventually realized that she isn't loving or being loved in a healthy way, so she eventually left.
But she left LEARNED, with a greater understanding of what love isn't supposed to be and how she needs to grow and change so that she can be a better woman and be able to recognize and appreciate a better man.


Don't be held captive by anything that keeps you from loving or being loved...not your past, your perceptions, others experiences and damn sho' not a movie.


My .08 cents.

[Sapphire]

Nov 11, 2010 17:00:40 GMT -5 LogAKAlly <3'n Keef said:

I am thankful to not only have a good man but for the ability to recognize and appreciate him!

THIS!! Because Kerry Washington had all that love and she let her personal issues regarding not being able to concieve keep him at a distance. Not to say that's not a big deal, but he just loved her and I felt she couln't accept and appreciate it.

[LogAKAlly <3'n Keef]

BTW...the negative examples of men were EXTREME!!!

1. A handsome, polite, corporate guy who charms you for two weeks turns out to be a brutal rapists - we ain't talking "date rape" or even drugging you - we're talking all out prison rape.

2. A man who was a wonderful father goes to war - comes back SEVERE PTSD and kills his own kids.

3. A man who OPENLY bounces between LIVING with 2 woman

4. A husband who is GAY and having gay sex with STRANGERS in alleyways etc. and gives his wife HIV.

If a man gets offended because he feels like he can relate to any of those characters....

uuuhhhhhhhhhh.....

I don't know what to tell you!

SHIIDDDDD truthfully - by comparison, even regular ass nigguhs should be walking out with their chest stuck out!!

:-\

That movie made mediocre nigguhs SUPA!!!

[LogAKAlly <3'n Keef]

Nov 11, 2010 17:08:10 GMT -5 Sapphire said:

Nov 11, 2010 17:00:40 GMT -5 LogAKAlly <3'n Keef said:

I am thankful to not only have a good man but for the ability to recognize and appreciate him!

THIS!! Because Kerry Washington had all that love and she let her personal issues regarding not being able to concieve keep him at a distance. Not to say that's not a big deal, but he just loved her and I felt she couln't accept and appreciate it.

IF YOU ARE A GOOD MAN, HELL, IF YOU ARE A HALFWAY DECENT MAN, SEND YOUR WOMAN TO SEE THIS MOVIE!
I PROMISE SHE'LL BE SO THANKFUL TO HAVE YO REGULAR/SANE/AVERAGE/BASIC AZZ!!
IF SHE AIN'T, SOMETHING IS REALLY WRONG - THAT HEFFA COULD FIND THE WORST IN ANYTHING - SEND HER PACKING!!

[peppermint]

With Kerry Washington's character, I felt like it was more the reasons behind the infertility that was the problem, not the infertility itself.

[Sapphire]

LOL @ Tikal on both points. So true.

At the end of the day in all the situations in this movie it was the women doing it for herself, putting herself first and owning up to their part in the cycle (okay well the rape storyline was different). Loretta had to realize that she was worth more and he wasn't worth her time and SHE needed to cut him off. Janet had to stop pretending... she admitted she sensed it but didn't do anything until she started getting sick. They all held on to things that kept them where they were and couldn't move forward until they owned it and took a step forward..

[dappa]

Nov 11, 2010 10:45:35 GMT -5 DamieQue™ said:

This thread demonstrates (to me) what is wrong with relationships between black men and black women... it's the insistance that the "other" must see our view.

There are as many "realities" as there are perceptions. I actually know women who have experienced some of the things that happened in this movie (well let me say that based on their accounts I know that they have - since I have been questioned about what I "know" before). I have no doubt that some of the characters resonate with people because they experienced similar things that did happen and do happen. Particularly the rape aspect - I am convinced more and more that actual instances of this crime are under reported, and that we as men probably don't perceive it to happen because we don't do it, and we do not perceive our circle of friends to be capable of it. It almost requires a woman to acknowledge that it happened to them for us to re-examine our perspectives and ask ourselves, "how come I didn't notice this"? If nothing else the movie could drive dialog about this particular topic.

Now that said, Juicy mentioned something about women being spoken of negatively in rap songs and portrayed negatively in videos. Would it offend women to be told that these are also portrayals of reality? Would it sound credible if some said it wasn't really disrespect of women, it was just realism? I promise whatever you have seen in videos, men on this board have seen IRL by every day ordinary women. Would you be receptive to men telling you need to sit down and examine some of these videos and learn? My guess is that you would not be (and keeping it real I would completely understand). It is a "reality" for some but not a "reality" for all.

*dapz*

[Sapphire]

Nov 11, 2010 17:44:52 GMT -5 peppermint said:

With Kerry Washington's character, I felt like it was more the reasons behind the infertility that was the problem, not the infertility itself.

Good point. And for the dumb people can you tell me exactly what happend? I got a little lost in her poetic story telling of her scenario with the friends and the dude. Did she get and STD or did she get pregnant. The 8 months later cramping confused me.

[Chal™]

Nov 11, 2010 16:22:03 GMT -5 Sapphire said:

Matter of fact, I'm made I wasted a holiday on this dark, drab, drawn on hot mess. I would have rather spent a day in parochial school. The appropriate sobriquet for this movie is For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Committing Suicide When the Ticket Price Ain't Enuf.

you are the bomb!!! lol

[Chal™]

1. A handsome, polite, corporate guy who charms you for two weeks turns out to be a brutal rapists - we ain't talking "date rape" or even drugging you - we're talking all out prison rape.

Um, yea, take away the corporate part and I know this guy

2. A man who was a wonderful father goes to war - comes back SEVERE PTSD and kills his own kids.

substitute killing the kids with overly abusive and i know this guy

3. A man who OPENLY bounces between LIVING with 2 woman.

Yep. Know this guy, too. Not only did he bounce between the two, they all lived together in one house. Him, her, her, and their kids. can you say damaged minds

4. A husband who is GAY and having gay sex with STRANGERS in alleyways etc. and gives his wife HIV.

um, nope don't know him


If a man gets offended because he feels like he can relate to any of those characters....

uuuhhhhhhhhhh.....

I don't know what to tell you!

I AGREE!!

[huey]

Writer Wesley Morris said it best in his review of For Colored Girls on boston.com when referring to Perry's depiction of black men in his films: "Perry has been playing a black woman for so long -- he's starred as the armed-and-dangerous Madea in at least five movies -- that he practically is one. But black men in Perry's movie are a source of visceral, physical ache. It's as if a brother has broken his heart, too."


thedailyvoice.com/voice/2010/11/tyler-perry-fuels-down-low-hys-002667.php




Again, this downlow brother and HIV twist is absent from play. Why did Perry include it???


Perry and his best friend Oprah Winfrey are clearly competing for who can create an even greater rift between black men and women by using the down low monster to further strain relationships between heterosexual black couples while simultaneously blaming black gay men for the increase in new HIV/AIDS infections among black women, a myth that has been debunked by the Center for Disease Control, yet still persists in many circles and is perpetuated by Perry in this film. Surely Perry is smart enough to know any adult who chooses to engage in sexual intercourse should be aware of the risks and responsible for his or her own sexual health, right?

[justdance20]

Nov 11, 2010 17:00:40 GMT -5 LogAKAlly <3'n Keef said:

I am thankful to not only have a good man but for the ability to recognize and appreciate him!
I'm especially thankful for all my past experiences - good and bad - wrongs I've done to others and done to me - b/c without that I wouldn't have the wisdom.

I completely agree with you. I saw the movie with an ex-bf that I am now just friends with. I actually liked really it, and as soon as we walked outside of the theatre, I took the time to tell him how thankful I was that he was always a gentleman. Though things didn't work out between us, this movie helped me to appreciate that he was a good man and never left me feeling like any of the women in this movie.

[**Dea**]

Nov 9, 2010 18:55:41 GMT -5 All Pledging Is Legal said:

So basically this movie shows the stupidity, naivety, and weakness of black women.

Black women need to stop blaming black men for their own shortcomings. Not every black woman is some punching bag or baby's mama or victim. Step your game up black women. You 'sistas' who are in these pitiful situations need to take notes. You black women who are living good lives need to stay the hell away from these losers. The world doesn't give a shit about your excuses.

THE ONLY REASON I decided to quote and comment to this is because I know you are dumb enough to truly believe this and I know other men do as well but would never so boldly say it.....

AND TO ALL YALL I SAY....

fuck YOU PUNK!!!

Are you seriously going to tell me that a man, that you know and trust that never had any signs of crazy before hauling off and whoopin her ass because "his words weren't getting through to her" DESERVED or had any play in the action? Cause this just happened to a woman in my chapter. Sweet heart through and through....OH...BTW, she is 4months pregnant with his child! And NO....this isn't an outwardly fucked up man...He is educated, member of a fraternity, has a very good job, etc etc....No signs! As I told her, the only reason I'd place any blame on her is if she stayed with the fool!

Does she have excuses?

Does the woman who is successful in her career and good head on her shoulders have excuses when she finds her husband of 10years butt fucking her male cousin in her bathroom have excuses? Is she to blame because he's a punk? This is a coworker of mine.

IS it the fault of the woman who works 2 or 3 jobs to make a happy life for her 3 children (who's husband left her for a sugar momma after he was laid off his job)to blame when a man breaks into their home one morning, expecting her not to be there, rapes and kills her oldest daughter (17yr old)...then when he is discovered by the other children this saturday morning he kills them too(ages 7 and 9)?? This mother, who's life was to protect and provide for her family in light of the cards that she was dealt, has her life ripped away from her? Is she to blame? This is a woman at my church.


Are you telling me that an 8 year old girl laying on the couch sleep by her best friends house should take the blame when a 42 year old man (bf's uncle) comes in and sees her laying on the couch and has his way with her and puts his hand over her mouth when she cries for her daddy?? She, now ex-daddy's girl, subsequently never forgives her father for his issues which led him to be 4 hrs late picking her up. She later suffers from major depression and trust issues. Is she to blame for this? This is ME!


Do better in your life dude! Seriously!

[**Dea**]

And Tyler may not show too many men in a positive light because he's had his own life traumas at the hands of a man. Tyler was molested as a child by a man. Leading to his sexual ambiguity and fear of ever reaching a sexual level with a partner of either sex.

Know a person's story before you judge them.

[**Dea**]

@ Damie - I am one of those women who see the booty bouncin chick in the back of the vid to be exactly what it is. I'm a feminist but you will never hear me argue this topic!

If any of you can remember, I told you guys a while back that I was on set of one of raps "seemingly most degrading videos" in support of my then bff...TIP DRILL!! It was just like a Strippers Day Out in that sucka! The women were all ass naked and happy about it. Most of them did not get paid for it and knew they weren't going to get a cent. They were there for the exposure and to just say they were there. Almost all of them had kids and I personally knew and am still cool with about 5 of them. It is what it is. Booty shakin bitches are apart of our population...as are bad mothers, weak women, drug addicts, dumb hoes...I can go on for days....

Oh! I wish the old OO was still up...I'd pull up 3fingaz and I "List of Hoes" thread! lol


I said that to say, I stood on that set...FULLY DRESSED knowing that I was not like any of those women. Knowing that there would be some sort of backlash about the video I to this day can watch it, laugh, and go on about my day because I know that Tip Drills do in fact exist and from the video "after party"...are live and well! It is what it is! I don't identify with anything about a booty shaking bitch video. Doesn't offend me but it doesn't make me proud either. I have just become acceptant that this is the world we've created and try to make sure I stay in my place mapped out for me.