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Post by Fraternal Design on Jan 16, 2008 19:32:09 GMT -5
My immediate supervisor has terminal cancer and is living in a hospice.
That's all I feel like sharing right now. Please keep us all in your prayers.
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Post by BrnSuga on Jan 16, 2008 19:44:19 GMT -5
Wow!! I will definitely be praying for your boss and his family. I work for a hospice so I see everyday what our patients and their families have to face. Keep me posted on his status. I have seen patients who were put on hospice start to get better and be taken off of hospice because they stop declining.
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Post by Puzzler on Jan 16, 2008 20:09:53 GMT -5
prayers are going up!
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Post by Sweet&Chic on Jan 16, 2008 21:28:05 GMT -5
I'm sending my prayers up
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Post by Fraternal Design on Jan 16, 2008 21:41:36 GMT -5
Thanks to all of you!
When I first got to my job nearly five months ago, I learned that he was a cancer survivor. I had heard it was stomach cancer, but that was through another employee.
If you all remember when I advertised that I had free tickets to a gala event in DC last November, it was around that time that he went back in the hospital. For about three weeks prior to his admission, he couldn't hold any food down. Of course, the people who knew him were concerned, but he kept saying he'd be fine.
Right before he went in, he told me he had renal cancer.
(Just a side note to say I can't believe I started this note an hour ag0 -- dad blasted phone kept ringing.)
So he says he has renal cancer and is going in for surgery to remove some sort of blockage so he could eat again.
Long story short, he still hasn't eaten. He was in a dreary, cramped hospital room for about two months. Right before the holidays, they finally put him in a hospice.
I didn't visit him until last week -- he of course had lost a lot of weight and looked very bad. But he was still sitting upright on the side of the bed and was able to communicate on a limited basis. One word answers, very very short sentences.
We found out today (and I really don't know how this works) but he was taken off his feeding tube? He also became very agitated and the hospice called us (on the recommendation of his best friend) to find somebody, anybody he was close to to go sit with him and help calm him down.
I should say at this point that my boss is a Catholic priest and has never had a wife or children. His only family is like one brother and a bunch of cousins. None are in the area. He has one close friend who lives here that I've met -- but he (as a priest) knows a LOT of people and very easily received 100-200 holiday and get-well cards from December to now.
I am not God, but I am pretty sure he is at the end of his life. His body is shutting down. And as I said, I was told they removed his feeding tube.
We are not close, so I am experiencing conflicting feelings about being able to advance because he is away. See, while he was there, I was being treated much more like an administrative assistant than my actual title (Program & Development Coordinator). My goal is to be a Development Officer, then a Director of Development. But he was grossly under-utilizing me and I came to resent him early.
But since he's been sick, not only have I been used much more as a fundraiser, I am being groomed for Senior Management -- I might actually have the job I wanted much, much sooner than later (I was hoping for 2010 at best).
So it's crazy..... I am grieving because the man is dying, yet I am able to advance because he is. I have to make sure I'm strong and continue the work of the organization in his absence, but I nearly break down after we pray for him in our meetings.
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Post by BrnSuga on Jan 16, 2008 21:46:36 GMT -5
From what you just described I believe he is at the end of his life as well. Has his family been contacted?
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Post by Fraternal Design on Jan 16, 2008 21:51:56 GMT -5
I am pretty sure of it. He has been getting all kinds of out of town visitors, from what I understand.
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Post by BrnSuga on Jan 16, 2008 21:55:47 GMT -5
Ok. Well I will continue to keep him in my prayers.
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Post by jay0heavenly on Jan 17, 2008 14:43:07 GMT -5
Man...this is sad to hear...
<===praying for him and his family
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Post by Search1906 on Jan 17, 2008 14:46:05 GMT -5
WOW Understnads FDs conflicted feelings. That is tough man.
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Post by Fraternal Design on Jan 17, 2008 17:22:55 GMT -5
Thanks everybody
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Post by Robelite on Jan 18, 2008 10:10:46 GMT -5
FD,
I will include your boss...as well as yourself and your co-workers in my prayers. We are taught to pray for others as we pray for ourselves, and to always give God thanks before we ask for anything. This situation just goes to show how God works...that even at a time like this, you are being groomed for a fulfilling career opportunity. Who would have "thunk" it, huh?
He does indeed move in mysterious ways! When prayers go up, blessings come down!
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Post by 123Diva on Jan 18, 2008 10:54:30 GMT -5
Frat D, I will pray for your boss and also for you and your professional future.
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Post by Fraternal Design on Jan 18, 2008 11:01:28 GMT -5
Thank you, and thank you.
He took a turn for the worse last night. The President of the Board of Directors said it's just a matter of time.
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Post by Fraternal Design on Jan 18, 2008 14:22:34 GMT -5
Death Watches SUCK!
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Post by BrnSuga on Jan 19, 2008 20:42:12 GMT -5
Keep us posted!
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Post by Fraternal Design on Jan 20, 2008 18:10:13 GMT -5
He passed away today. All I really know at this point is that his family was indeed there when it happened.
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Post by BrnSuga on Jan 20, 2008 18:23:13 GMT -5
My condolences to his family, friends and co-workers.
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Post by Sapphire on Jan 20, 2008 19:29:10 GMT -5
Oh no! I'm so sorry for your loss Fraternal. My condolences to you, his family and friends. I'll keep you all in my thoughts.
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Post by Fraternal Design on Jan 21, 2008 13:52:34 GMT -5
I am at work today and we draped our sign with black fabric. I also set up a little "shrine" with some pictures, his cactus from his office, one of his neckties, and a ceramic cross we had.
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Post by LejaOMG on Jan 21, 2008 14:44:19 GMT -5
awwww @ the cactus
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Post by BKupInHere on Jan 21, 2008 15:37:07 GMT -5
My condolences FD!!! That is so sad!!!
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Post by Worthy Most Ancient Matron on Jan 21, 2008 15:45:39 GMT -5
I am so sorry FD. I know how you feel. I lost a co-worker last week who had been with the agency for over 32 years.
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Post by Fraternal Design on Jan 24, 2008 21:47:21 GMT -5
Thanks for all of your prayers, guys! Seriously, I had a lot of strength this week and I only cried a little bit at the funeral. I stayed at work until late last night to prepare the office for the repast. Although the caterer was late, causing me to miss half of the funeral, it was worth it -- Gist Family Catering in DC, y'all. Get into it. One tough part was fielding all of the calls this week from people who had heard rumors that he died. One lady didn't even know until today.  But we honestly did do our best to spread the word as far and wide as we possibly could, considering he died on the Sunday of a three day weekend AND I worked on Monday just to finish a grant and be available for whatever, for the family. At any rate.... I set up our conference room, kitchen, reception area, and sun room for visitors. Each area (except for the kitchen) had something to remind us of the boss: pictures, personal affects, etc. Everyone told me I did a great job with everything, but I was just focused at creating a POSITIVE and uplifting experience, rather than a sad one. Yes, our sign out front was draped with black fabric to signify that we were in mourning, but the inside was happy and reflective. All in all, I think the week is ending positively. We have a Board and Staff meeting all tomorrow afternoon, which was already planned. That will have the double-sided effect of doing necessary 2008 planning and showing everyone that we made it through and will continue to make it through, so there's no need to stop moving forward. Once again, thank you guys so much for your support. I really do appreciate it and I really do believe that prayer changes things. |
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Post by BrnSuga on Jan 24, 2008 22:15:48 GMT -5
I was wondering how things were going. I'm glad to see that everything went well.
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Post by IvyByDesign on Jan 24, 2008 22:37:03 GMT -5
sorry for your lost, FD. keep strong.
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Post by Southie on Jan 25, 2008 23:15:27 GMT -5
Continous prayers are coming from Southie.
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But we honestly did do our best to spread the word as far and wide as we possibly could, considering he died on the Sunday of a three day weekend AND I worked on Monday just to finish a grant and be available for whatever, for the family.
