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Post by Cambist on Jul 27, 2009 13:26:33 GMT -5
I have heard this several times in the past 2-5 years. Several people I know, some of which are friends, have decided that they are tired of being married.
There is no REAL problem....I didn't hear any evidence of abuse, mishandling of funds, cheating, etc....None of that. There was just the normal marriage problems but nothing that would/should make one end a marrige.
So, is the, "I'm just tired of being married" a good reason? I have my opinion (as a married man) but I want to hear what you guys have to say.
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Post by Bunny Hop on Jul 27, 2009 13:33:38 GMT -5
Sounds a little lazy or something to me.
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Post by Highly Favored on Jul 27, 2009 13:39:39 GMT -5
No, IMO, it is not a good reason.
I'd have been divorced a long time ago if I bailed when I first got tired of being married. And, oh how many times I have been tired since the beginning!
But then I think about my husband, who has been nothing but good to me. And I think about my children and how they don't deserve a divided family just because I got tired.
Marriage is like anything else long-term - sometimes it is exciting, sometimes not. I'e chosen to take the ups and downs and remain true to my commitment.
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Post by peppermint on Jul 27, 2009 14:36:33 GMT -5
funny, some people get married because they are "tired" of dating
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Post by QueenOH on Jul 27, 2009 14:39:51 GMT -5
Nope.
Every relationship is going to make you tired at some point.
At times, I get tired of being a mom, a sister, a cousin, a daughter...etc, but I can't sever the ties because that is just punking out. You gotta be there for up and downs or it ain't worth it.
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Post by Highly Favored on Jul 27, 2009 15:52:49 GMT -5
Nope. Every relationship is going to make you tired at some point. At times, I get tired of being a mom, a sister, a cousin, a daughter...etc, but I can't sever the ties because that is just punking out. You gotta be there for up and downs or it ain't worth it. Well stated. |
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BLAC-A-MUS PRYME
OOA Interest
Grow in the knowledge of self[C01:0000FF]
Posts: 33
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Post by BLAC-A-MUS PRYME on Jul 27, 2009 16:10:44 GMT -5
Nope. Every relationship is going to make you tired at some point. At times, I get tired of being a mom, a sister, a cousin, a daughter...etc, but I can't sever the ties because that is just punking out. You gotta be there for up and downs or it ain't worth it. I can truly agree! I am glad Queen is willing to go through those ups and downs with me! |
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Post by 123Diva on Jul 27, 2009 16:39:11 GMT -5
Awww....
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Post by No Screen Name on Jul 27, 2009 16:45:59 GMT -5
Awwwwwww...  |
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BLAC-A-MUS PRYME
OOA Interest
Grow in the knowledge of self[C01:0000FF]
Posts: 33
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Post by BLAC-A-MUS PRYME on Jul 27, 2009 17:59:01 GMT -5
If one is tired of being married, maybe it is the fact that they are tired of the routine. And in our busy lives, we find ourselves living a schedule rather than being as spontaneous as when we were dating. You just have to be creative.
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Post by **Dea** on Jul 27, 2009 18:39:53 GMT -5
Ummm...I'd have to say yes...it is a good reason.
No before you push my post under the rug and say "oh she's just young" or "she doesn't believe in marriage so she has a bias" HEAR ME OUT!!
I'll try to keep this as non-psychological as possible.
I believe this is a good reason to end it because once you become aware of a condition that is no longer confortable to you you will purposefully or subconsciencly begin to behave or relate to others as if you weren't in that condition anymore.
Take for instance the 13 year old girl who realizes that she's tired of being a kid and being viewed as a child. What will she start to do? She will begin to behave in a manner that she percieves as "grown". This will, in turn, become a problem both for her and the rest of society because as a child she cannot possibly be prepared for that lifestyle.
SO, if you take this take this same concept and put it to work with this "i'm tired of being married" scenario. If a person is TRULY tired of being married, he or she may, in turn, begin behaving as if they weren't. The consequences of such actions may be extremely harmful to the relationship and the level of respect had throughout the partnership. SO, my opinion is if a person is "tired of being married" it may be in the best intrest of the relationship and the sanity of all involved to go ahead and end it there before something drastic happens.
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Post by dappa on Jul 27, 2009 22:44:31 GMT -5
If one is tired of being married, maybe it is the fact that they are tired of the routine. And in our busy lives, we find ourselves living a schedule rather than being as spontaneous as when we were dating. You just have to be creative. This sounds like the usual reason for people being tired of marriage. |
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Post by Highly Favored on Jul 28, 2009 8:40:18 GMT -5
If one is tired of being married, maybe it is the fact that they are tired of the routine. And in our busy lives, we find ourselves living a schedule rather than being as spontaneous as when we were dating. You just have to be creative. This sounds like the usual reason for people being tired of marriage. For me, that was only a small part of it. The other part was the desire to be free of always being someone's wife, someone's mother. It was the desire to be completely selfish and not have to be responsible for anyone but me. It was also the desire to have my own space and not have to ALWAYS share it with someone else. It was the desire to make my own decisions without considering whether or not my husband would approve. I gave up those rights when I married and had children. I think it is unfair for me to suddenly decide I don't want what I thought I wanted. My husband nor my children deserve that. And those feelings for me have always been fleeting, which is why there is a danger in making decisions based upon what you are feeling in a particular season. |
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Post by THE emPRISS on Jul 28, 2009 9:36:33 GMT -5
I have heard this several times in the past 2-5 years. Several people I know, some of which are friends, have decided that they are tired of being married. There is no REAL problem....I didn't hear any evidence of abuse, mishandling of funds, cheating, etc....None of that. There was just the normal marriage problems but nothing that would/should make one end a marrige. So, is the, "I'm just tired of being married" a good reason? I have my opinion (as a married man) but I want to hear what you guys have to say. No, I dont think its a good reason. But then again, I have this silly idealistic notion that the vows that are taken/given are supposed to mean something and be sacred...like I said, silly concept, huh? |
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BLAC-A-MUS PRYME
OOA Interest
Grow in the knowledge of self[C01:0000FF]
Posts: 33
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Post by BLAC-A-MUS PRYME on Jul 28, 2009 9:50:28 GMT -5
I'd have to agree with EmPriss, vows were considered to be something sacred at one time. Now majority of society believes that you can take a vow and turn around and go against it if it isn't to the best of your interest. I think that is called backsliding... check your Bibles just in case.
Any promise or vow that I take, I make it to uphold my word to the best of my ability. As Tony Montana said "All a man has is his word and his balls and I won't break them for no one!"
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Post by FatalDST on Jul 28, 2009 10:16:52 GMT -5
I dont know. I do think sometimes ppl can just want to get away, maybe thats what they mean. I know I have been in my relationship for (on/off) about 9 yrs and sometimes I just want to be alone for a few days.. peace and quiet, no talking, no questions, just me against the world baby! lol
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Post by FatalDST on Jul 28, 2009 10:18:15 GMT -5
Nope. Every relationship is going to make you tired at some point. At times, I get tired of being a mom, a sister, a cousin, a daughter...etc, but I can't sever the ties because that is just punking out. You gotta be there for up and downs or it ain't worth it. I can truly agree! I am glad Queen is willing to go through those ups and downs with me! *vomits a little bit* |
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Post by THE emPRISS on Jul 28, 2009 10:52:41 GMT -5
I'd have to agree with EmPriss, vows were considered to be something sacred at one time. Now majority of society believes that you can take a vow and turn around and go against it if it isn't to the best of your interest. I think that is called backsliding... check your Bibles just in case. Any promise or vow that I take, I make it to uphold my word to the best of my ability. As Tony Montana said "All a man has is his word and his balls and I won't break them for no one!" Here, Here!!!! |
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Post by Warner Fite on Jul 28, 2009 12:28:28 GMT -5
Subjectively, sure it's a good reason. Vows, on the premise, are conditions, no matter what God you vow to honor these conditions in front of....conditions are almost meant to be broken.
Objectively, no, it's not a good reason. People are more faithful to their organizations and bank accounts than they are to their vows.
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Post by Prissy New Year!!! on Jul 28, 2009 13:00:51 GMT -5
I get tired of being married too sometimes, but that is no reason to leave. I have 2 children and I owe them my best efforts at making this marriage work and giving them a healthy, happy home life. That may mean that I can't have it all and that I have to accept my less than perfect husband as he accepts his less than perfect wife.
I think too many people get married while believing in fairy tales. There is a such thing as happily ever after, but the fairy tales don't include the work that goes into making the happily ever after...
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Post by THE emPRISS on Jul 28, 2009 13:03:42 GMT -5
Subjectively, sure it's a good reason. Vows, on the premise, are conditions, no matter what God you vow to honor these conditions in front of....conditions are almost meant to be broken. Objectively, no, it's not a good reason. People are more faithful to their organizations and bank accounts than they are to their vows. Unless ppl write out their own vows...the only condition (per the vows if you dont believe in the Bible) is "til death do us part." Where does, "Im just tired of your a$$" fit in? *serious question* |
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Post by Warner Fite on Jul 28, 2009 13:22:00 GMT -5
Subjectively, sure it's a good reason. Vows, on the premise, are conditions, no matter what God you vow to honor these conditions in front of....conditions are almost meant to be broken. Objectively, no, it's not a good reason. People are more faithful to their organizations and bank accounts than they are to their vows. Unless ppl write out their own vows...the only condition (per the vows if you dont believe in the Bible) is "til death do us part." Where does, "Im just tired of your a$$" fit in? *serious question* Good question....seriously. Technically, it doesn't fit in. Why would two people passionately in love, about to embark on life's journey together without a SHRED of experience to assist them, want to include "until I get tired of yo ass" in their vows, right? Stay with me.... Nothing about the ceremonial part of marriage includes anything about the hard work and fustration, except for the part "for better or for worse". But what the hell does that mean for two people who are just excited about calling each other "husband" and "wife" and about to go on a week-long honeymoon and fuck each other's brains out? Nothing. not a damn thing... The problem, IMO, is the lack of maturity going in. I seriously wish we had a better system, for lack of better terms, to determine when people should and should not get married... In my three years on OO/OOA, I will say it time and again: Love and Maturity will get two people through anything. |
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Post by THE emPRISS on Jul 28, 2009 13:41:27 GMT -5
Unless ppl write out their own vows...the only condition (per the vows if you dont believe in the Bible) is "til death do us part." Where does, "Im just tired of your a$$" fit in? *serious question* Good question....seriously. Technically, it doesn't fit in. Why would two people passionately in love, about to embark on life's journey together without a SHRED of experience to assist them, want to include "until I get tired of yo ass" in their vows, right? Stay with me.... Nothing about the ceremonial part of marriage includes anything about the hard work and fustration, except for the part "for better or for worse". But what the hell does that mean for two people who are just excited about calling each other "husband" and "wife" and about to go on a week-long honeymoon and fuck each other's brains out? Nothing. not a damn thing... The problem, IMO, is the lack of maturity going in. I seriously wish we had a better system, for lack of better terms, to determine when people should and should not get married... In my three years on OO/OOA, I will say it time and again: Love and Maturity will get two people through anything. True but theoretically (although maybe Im just naive about the truths of our microwave society), shouldnt you all have been together long enough to have been through some stuff together? Like Ive said, I dont want passion. I dont want to be blinded by love. Call me jaded but I dont want it at all bc its a false promise that nobody can keep. Give me someone who shares my core values, I can tolerate, wont get on my nerves, who is dependable, honest, trustworthy and Im attracted to, at least moderately. Keep the passion...its not even worth the headache that is sure to come as soon as it wears off. |
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Post by LejaOMG on Jul 28, 2009 13:55:23 GMT -5
I was just talking with a friend today about Proverbs 20:25 which says- "It is a danger to a man to say without thought, It is holy, and, after taking his oaths, to be questioning if it is necessary to keep them."
Even if nothing else is what you expected from the marriage, does it occur to the majority of folks, that oaths are...OATHS? (serious question)
this quote brought to you by 'Bible in Basic English' translation.
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Post by DamieQue™ on Jul 28, 2009 14:06:57 GMT -5
I'm trying to understand what the thrust of this thread is?
Is it, yeah I'm tired of being married, but I'ma ride it on out
or
yeah I'm tired of being married so shawty bang bang what you doing tonight?
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Post by Prissy New Year!!! on Jul 28, 2009 14:42:55 GMT -5
Good question....seriously. Technically, it doesn't fit in. Why would two people passionately in love, about to embark on life's journey together without a SHRED of experience to assist them, want to include "until I get tired of yo ass" in their vows, right? Stay with me.... Nothing about the ceremonial part of marriage includes anything about the hard work and fustration, except for the part "for better or for worse". But what the hell does that mean for two people who are just excited about calling each other "husband" and "wife" and about to go on a week-long honeymoon and fuck each other's brains out? Nothing. not a damn thing... The problem, IMO, is the lack of maturity going in. I seriously wish we had a better system, for lack of better terms, to determine when people should and should not get married... In my three years on OO/OOA, I will say it time and again: Love and Maturity will get two people through anything. True but theoretically (although maybe Im just naive about the truths of our microwave society), shouldnt you all have been together long enough to have been through some stuff together? Like Ive said, I dont want passion. I dont want to be blinded by love. Call me jaded but I dont want it at all bc its a false promise that nobody can keep. Give me someone who shares my core values, I can tolerate, wont get on my nerves, who is dependable, honest, trustworthy and Im attracted to, at least moderately. Keep the passion...its not even worth the headache that is sure to come as soon as it wears off. Priss, you have it figured out. That is basically what will keep a marriage going. Passion will die out, yeah it will flare up at times, but for the most part after so many years you settle into a comfortable pattern. In order to stay with my husband, I have to like him and share his core values. We see eye to eye on most things, we find a lot of the same things funny and we are don't get tired of talking to each other. My friends and my oldest daughter are always tripping because me and my husband call each other pretty frequently throughout the day just to check in, or if something happens we share it with each other. We can talk and laugh for hours---occasionally we even rip each others clothes off and go at it, but for the most part we just enjoy each others company. I really believe that this is it for me. I can't see myself liking or feeling this comfortable with any other man. |
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Post by LejaOMG on Jul 28, 2009 14:44:35 GMT -5
we even rip each others clothes off and go at it ThaswhatImtolmbout |
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Post by Highly Favored on Jul 28, 2009 14:45:23 GMT -5
I get tired of being married too sometimes, but that is no reason to leave. I have 2 children and I owe them my best efforts at making this marriage work and giving them a healthy, happy home life. That may mean that I can't have it all and that I have to accept my less than perfect husband as he accepts his less than perfect wife. I think too many people get married while believing in fairy tales. There is a such thing as happily ever after, but the fairy tales don't include the work that goes into making the happily ever after... Exactly. |
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Post by Highly Favored on Jul 28, 2009 14:46:27 GMT -5
True but theoretically (although maybe Im just naive about the truths of our microwave society), shouldnt you all have been together long enough to have been through some stuff together? Like Ive said, I dont want passion. I dont want to be blinded by love. Call me jaded but I dont want it at all bc its a false promise that nobody can keep. Give me someone who shares my core values, I can tolerate, wont get on my nerves, who is dependable, honest, trustworthy and Im attracted to, at least moderately. Keep the passion...its not even worth the headache that is sure to come as soon as it wears off. Priss, you have it figured out. That is basically what will keep a marriage going. Passion will die out, yeah it will flare up at times, but for the most part after so many years you settle into a comfortable pattern. In order to stay with my husband, I have to like him and share his core values. We see eye to eye on most things, we find a lot of the same things funny and we are don't get tired of talking to each other. My friends and my oldest daughter are always tripping because me and my husband call each other pretty frequently throughout the day just to check in, or if something happens we share it with each other. We can talk and laugh for hours---occasionally we even rip each others clothes off and go at it, but for the most part we just enjoy each others company. I really believe that this is it for me. I can't see myself liking or feeling this comfortable with any other man. Again, exactly. |
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Post by DamieQue™ on Jul 28, 2009 14:50:34 GMT -5
we even rip each others clothes off and go at it ThaswhatImtolmbout |
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